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I'm a TA and the teacher embarrassed on my first day in the classroom

252 replies

youdontknowmyname · 09/09/2017 14:00

Warning: it's a long story.

I'm a new TA at a secondary school (I have worked there before as a supply teacher). It was the first day of term for all year 7-13s, because it was the first day back the teacher provided some ice breaker activities for the kids to get to know their peers within their form class, the activity required a pen.

All TAs are required to carry stationery in case a kids need one. I saw a couple of kids in the corner who looked a little anxious so I assumed they did not have a pen, so I kindly offered pens to anyone who needed one. The teacher turned and looked at me, she looked at me as if I had defecated on her mother's head and she said "it's the first day back, they should have stationery on them at all times. If I were you I would put that back!". It was so embarrassing, the classroom went quiet and kids stared at me. Kids are like sharks, they can smell weakness, the water was filled with my blood.

I kept quiet for the remainder of the class, when the kids went off for their break I asked the teacher if I could speak to her privately. I was calm, collective and most of all professional. I told her I did not appreciate the way she spoke to me because it was embarrassing, and that I think it's ok to be lenient on the first day because it's important that the children have a pleasant first day experience. She denied all allegations and she had another go at me because it's school policy to carry stationery at all times.

I was coming down with a cold and I had a migraine, I suffered from severe depression in the past so I am a little more sensitive than others. I went into the staff locker room during break and I broke down in tears. My TA colleagues saw me cry and told me to head home as I was feeling sick and I didn't have the energy to cope emotionally. I spoke to my boss but I did not tell her about the pen incident, she sent me home and wished me a swift recovery.

I work through an agency, I got a call from my recruitment agent later on that day because my boss called her and told her about the "altercation" at work. She went absolutely mental and said that it was extremely unprofessional of me to speak to the teacher directly and that I should have kept my mouth shut and gone directly to her or my boss or both.

Am I in the wrong? what would you have done?

(The other TAs told me that this particular teacher is hard to work with because she's a rude control freak)

OP posts:
BeingBusyisSoOverated · 09/09/2017 14:58

Teachers are a strange breed. Some of them get such a kick out of belittling kids, they forget themselves and do the same to adults.

PlaymobilPirate · 09/09/2017 15:00

You undermined the teacher and then buggeted off home on your first day? I'd be revoking the contract if I were the Head.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/09/2017 15:02

Copperbeech33

Are you a teacher?

OneDay

Only the Power trippers.

HumphreyCobblers · 09/09/2017 15:02

Making a colleague look small in front of children is not professional behaviour. I think the teacher was out of order to do this. I am a teacher and would never undermine my colleague like this, even if I disagreed with what she was doing.

I am finding the replies you are getting at the moment baffling really.

TAs are not there to be spoken to so rudely, neither are the children in fact.

TheMaddHugger · 09/09/2017 15:04

(((((((((((Big Hugs)))))))))) OP.
I wish I had a TA like you 40 years ago. 🌺🌷🌸🌼🌸🌷🌺

BeingBusyisSoOverated · 09/09/2017 15:04

if you are or have been a teacher, you will understand how much education is lost in the average week by students not having, or claiming to have lost their pen

Really? Please do tell.

LairyMcClary · 09/09/2017 15:06

Look, considering how very oversensitive the OP clearly is (she even says so herself) you should all be bearing in mind that her account of what the teacher said and how is quite likely to be different from how the teacher would tell it, and unlikely to be entirely accurate.
It's not very helpful for her to validate her response as if she is completely in the right here, it won't help her in the future.

LucieLucie · 09/09/2017 15:06

Teaching seems to attract a certain type. Hmm

This classroom teacher was rude to the TA in front of her class and lacked the skills to be able to deal with the situation without losing her place as 'in charge'.

It was a fecking pen! Yes essentially it was undermining the teacher but in the grand scheme of things if this is all teachers have to worry about they need to pull their head out their own backside.

On another note, OP you do sound emotionally very fragile and perhaps not quite ready to deal with snappy teachers.
I'd recommend taking some CBT and assertiveness training.

wrenika · 09/09/2017 15:08

I think - as a TA - you overstepped your authority and undermined the teacher.

dolcezza99 · 09/09/2017 15:10

How unprofessional. You sound a bit too delicate for this job, OP.

Liadain · 09/09/2017 15:11

Really? Please do tell.

Lost pens, missing books, repeating instructions for those not listening, transitions between activities, correctly ruling pages, kids going to the bathroom...it all eats into lesson time. I always spend the first few days working hard on routines and my expectations, as do many teachers.

I don't have a TA, I definitely wouldn't react to one like the teacher did in this case - but theres a big difference in the roles and I wouldn't be happy with a TA trying to impose her view of how the class should be run.

SuburbanRhonda · 09/09/2017 15:13

in the grand scheme of things if this is all teachers have to worry about they need to pull their head out their own backside.

Who said this was all the teacher had to be worried about? If only!

LairyMcClary · 09/09/2017 15:15

The teacher has to worry about the TA, who is supposed to be helping, crying, making complaints and going home early on the first day, after undermining her authority in front of her pupils. She had plenty to worry about!

DjangoUnchained · 09/09/2017 15:17

I'm a TA, if I had been you I'd have said fair enough and got on with my job. Not sat quietly and then called her on it.

LetZygonsbeZygones · 09/09/2017 15:18

I think it was handled badly on both sides. As a temp TA I wouldn't have offered pens in that situation and as a teacher, she shouldn't have belittled you. She could have said that it was a nice thought but if someone always stepped up with whatever they've forgotten, they wouldn't ever learn to remember their stuff.

Having worked for agencies, you are so dependent on them for assignments that I'd only challenge something major I saw going on in school. For minor stuff like this, I'd have buttoned my lips even though I felt the teacher was being rude. You are only as good as the feedback a school gives you annoyingly.

pieceofpurplesky · 09/09/2017 15:20

OP the teacher was right. They should have the correct equipment on the first day. I would have interpreted the teacher as saying that you should put yours away as the pupils did have them on them but because you gave them pens they didn't have to get their own out.
It is amazing when I tell a pupil that if they are borrowing a pen they must hand it back after the rest of the class have left how many suddenly find the said pen!
I have had to ask TAs not to give out things - the one which annoys me the most is when they hand out their own toilet pass. Usually to the pupil who goes every lesson to waste time.
Your reaction is extreme

hodgeheg92 · 09/09/2017 15:20

I think good TAs are worth their weight in gold. It's my first year having one myself (5th year teaching in a primary school) but she's already been amazing. I see my TA as my equal in many ways but I don't think this teacher does.

I think both of you overreacted in this instance. Somebody else suggested having a discussion about your expectations of each other - I think that would be a great idea.

Maelstrop · 09/09/2017 15:25

The teacher as rude to you, but you totally undermined her. From day one, I set out the rules with students so a TA quietly sliding them pens would piss me right off. Going home in tears is making me think you really shouldn't work there if you can't cope with being spoken to a bit brusquely. I know she shouldn't have been such a cow, but you were in the wrong.

Speaking to a primary mate with TAs, she is driven nuts by them doing the opposite of what she's just told the children to do. It's very undermining.

Blood in the water? Please!

brasty · 09/09/2017 15:28

Sorry you are feeling crap.
But you have been a supply teacher before where you were the one with responsibility. It can be really hard to move from a position of responsibility to one where someone else is in charge and you are in a support role.

SandyBeachandtheDeckchairs · 09/09/2017 15:30

OP, when I read your post I thought that your teacher spoke to you about the pens as a round the houses way of telling the children to remember their stuff. I didn't think she meant to have a go at you. It must have felt awful for you. I hope you feel better soon.

claraschu · 09/09/2017 15:34

The teacher was rude.

I don't understand why the OP is seen to be undermining the teacher here. It is not as if the teacher had just said: "Everyone take out a pen. If you don't have a pen, I will give you a detention."

Janeismymiddlename · 09/09/2017 15:35

Seriously? If this is going to bother you, you're not cut out for the environment.,

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 09/09/2017 15:35

Teaching seems to attract a certain type

LucieLucie - all the teachers on this thread, me included, are just dying to know how you have stereotyped us all - what type is that, then, that teaching attracts?

2014newme · 09/09/2017 15:35

You sound very unwell. I get migraines I am bed bound by them so am amazed
you managed to go to work with that plus flu and an ear infection, wow! Obviously this impacted on your decision making, understandably. Hope you get the chance for a fresh start I a new school but if you gave the flu please don't take it to school and give it to hundreds of others!

PlaymobilPirate · 09/09/2017 15:36

'It's only a fecking pen' made me laugh... the delivery man's just been with pens, pencils, pritt sticks, 15cm rulers and protractors... all of which I've bought from Amazon with my own money.

There's been nothing ordered this year. My department is skint. Most of my students (16+) bring equipment. A few don't...

I'm tight with them though as I can't afford to be replacing the lost / chewed pens every lesson. I like to have a quick ' you can borrow one this time...' chat so I'd be pissed off about a TA dishing them out on the sly.

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