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Original poster

Formal Complaint of Racism- Help!

646 replies

OhBollocksFuck · 26/10/2016 11:14

I've NC as this is quite outing.

I work in the back office (10 people, all women, desk work) doing logistics for delivery drivers (27 people, mostly men, out and about all day).

We've had a bloke called Steve (not his real name) working as a delivery driver for years. Steve is black. Then another Steve came. So the original Steve became known as 'black Steve', which he's completely fine with, and new Steve became 'white Steve' which he's also fine with. We also have 'Short Trev' and 'Tall Trev' for two blokes called Trev. They're descriptions just to differentiate.

A new woman has started in the back office with us and asked me the other day what to do with an order which needed express sending. I told her to give it to 'black Steve' for various reasons. She's seemed quite nice, a little bit up-tight perhaps but that's usual when starting a new place.

Fast-forward to today and my manager has called me in the office to let me know that this new woman has put in a complaint about me using racist language. He's arranged a formal meeting with me and her for next Friday to talk through the complaint and see 'where we go' (his words). I'm in a union so I've got a union representative coming with me but I'm completely flawed by it.

I don't know what to do. I'm trying to remain calm and professional with this woman but I'm angry and upset. I don't want to mention anything to black Steve but, at the same time, it feels odd that there's all this going on with him being at the centre but him not really knowing. I also know that if I did mention it some of the drivers would take issue with her and I don't want them to get themselves into any trouble either.

I don't know what I'm asking really TBH. just some words of wisdom and advice from MNers would be breat!

OP posts:
DramaQueenofHighCs · 11/11/2016 17:34

But why should they have said that? I know I'm nieve but I've had this conversation with many people and I don't get it - heck even many of my non-white friends don't get it. I know there is a history behind race relations, but I seriously think that if someone chooses such a nickname for themselves in a non-derogatory way then why shouldn't they be allowed to use it? Or is this just a workplace thing and would be ok elsewhere? I know workplaces where I have worked where people have all sorts of crazy nicknames, I've had a few myself that are based on my personal appearance. Obviously if he called himself "N*** Steve" that wouldnt be ok as its a derogatory term, but 'black' is merely a descriptor surely?

prh47bridge · 11/11/2016 18:56

Surely though others find the nickname offensive because they think he might be offended where clearly he isn't

Not necessarily. It may be that the new starter thinks she is defending him but it may be that she simply finds nicknames such as "black Steve" offensive.

But why should they have said that

Because use of such nicknames is unprofessional and some people may find it offensive. The names people use to refer to themselves in their personal life are up to them. However, the employer has a duty of care towards all employees. They will also be concerned about the image of the business. Most employers will therefore want to ensure that staff do not behave in ways that others might find offensive.

You may not find "black Steve" offensive. It should be clear from reading this thread that some people do find the nickname offensive, even though he coined the nickname himself. That is why the employer should be stopping this kind of behaviour.

woodhill · 13/11/2016 17:48

The new woman sounds a PITA. Why would you want her at a drink and wouldn't she expect not to be included given all the grief she has caused. She seems to lack self awareness and I'm glad your colleague pulled her up.

Original poster
OhBollocksFuck · 15/11/2016 08:22

New colleague has called in sick today but is still coming along to the meeting at 4pm apparently.

I'll update when I get a chance after this. Might not be until about 6:30 though, lots to get done after work.

OP posts:
TheTartOfAsgard · 15/11/2016 08:38

Good luck! Hope it goes your way.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 15/11/2016 09:07

some people do find the nickname offensive, even though he coined the nickname himself

But if "black Steve" chose his name, what right have white people to be offended by it? Surely it cannot be right that a white person can tell a black person that they cannot describe themselves by their skin colour.

originalmavis · 15/11/2016 09:25

Good luck op. Sounds like a lot of aggro. I hope it all gets sorted tiday.

amistillsexy · 15/11/2016 11:26

Good luck today, OP. I hope that by tonight you can put all this behind you. Flowers

FATEdestiny · 15/11/2016 12:17

I've just read this whole thread. Really interesting and thought-provoking subject.

I have nothing to add but good luck for later op Flowers

blatent place marking ready for updates

MuchasSmoochas · 15/11/2016 12:27

I think you'll have to suck this up OP and may get a warning. It doesn't matter what Steve thinks, it's what the complainant thinks that counts. NRTFT but if your employers/manager were aware of this nickname they should have put a stop to it before. Hopefully this can be mediated before a formal process. I'd just say sorry and that you won't do it again. And put it down to experience.

lottieandmia · 15/11/2016 13:02

'Surely it cannot be right that a white person can tell a black person that they cannot describe themselves by their skin colour.'

Surely it cannot be right that only black people should be offended by racism. I would find this offensive. I would not want to work in such an environment where racial slurs are tolerated on a daily basis.

aginghippy · 15/11/2016 13:22

I hope the OP doesn't get a formal warning. She is being singled out. It wouldn't be fair if she was the only one disciplined for something that most employees are doing.

I agree that the managers should have put a stop to this before. And they seem to be handling this whole grievance process really badly. It's a management issue, not an issue with OP's behaviour in particular. She shouldn't be punished for something management is doing wrong.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 15/11/2016 13:53

Surely it cannot be right that only black people should be offended by racism

I think black people should have the final say on what they consider racist, not to have this imposed on them.

I would find this offensive. I would not want to work in such an environment where racial slurs are tolerated on a daily basis.

So a black person describing themselves as black is racial slur Hmm

DramaQueenofHighCs · 15/11/2016 14:12

Hoping the OP gets on ok. Let's hope that if it was a similar situation but with a black collegue complaining because another collegue was called "White Steve" it would be taken just as seriously.

The OP was singled out where lots of collegues use the nickname, no matter what the 'shoulds and shouldn'ts' of this are that part is wrong and I think we can all agree.

lottieandmia · 15/11/2016 14:14

You're missing the point Itsall.

DoItTooJulia · 15/11/2016 14:20

How odd-she can't be that sick! I'd take a dim view of that if I was her manager. (I did have someone on a placement once who was off sick when they turned up for a job interview-we couldn't believe it! She didn't get the job!)

CaroleService · 15/11/2016 14:38

If there are any e-mails you can track with thosde nicknames being used by colleagues / management, print them out!! (twice; keep one copy safe, take another to the meeting)

VeganCow · 15/11/2016 16:35

I agree with aginghippy

Arkengarthdale · 15/11/2016 17:06

Ooo I can't wait

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 15/11/2016 17:08

Hope it went okay today.

DramaQueenofHighCs · 15/11/2016 21:24

Any news?

MissSynful · 15/11/2016 21:40

placemarking. Have been reading this thread from the start and need to know how it pans out for OP. (Good luck). As a person of bme I think this type of nonsense that fuels people to vote Trump/Farage etc. Its not racism by any stretch of the imagination, perhaps inappropriate for a workplace and even then depends upon the type of workplace imo. No one has been been treated unfavourably due to their race and no malice has been intended.

pklme · 16/11/2016 08:42

Wondering what happened... Hope you are ok, OP.

PotOfYoghurt · 16/11/2016 09:30

Hope it had a positive outcome op.

RebootYourEngine · 16/11/2016 13:07

Hope all is well Flowers