Formal Complaint of Racism- Help!

[OhBollocksFuck]

I've NC as this is quite outing.

I work in the back office (10 people, all women, desk work) doing logistics for delivery drivers (27 people, mostly men, out and about all day).

We've had a bloke called Steve (not his real name) working as a delivery driver for years. Steve is black. Then another Steve came. So the original Steve became known as 'black Steve', which he's completely fine with, and new Steve became 'white Steve' which he's also fine with. We also have 'Short Trev' and 'Tall Trev' for two blokes called Trev. They're descriptions just to differentiate.

A new woman has started in the back office with us and asked me the other day what to do with an order which needed express sending. I told her to give it to 'black Steve' for various reasons. She's seemed quite nice, a little bit up-tight perhaps but that's usual when starting a new place.

Fast-forward to today and my manager has called me in the office to let me know that this new woman has put in a complaint about me using racist language. He's arranged a formal meeting with me and her for next Friday to talk through the complaint and see 'where we go' (his words). I'm in a union so I've got a union representative coming with me but I'm completely flawed by it.

I don't know what to do. I'm trying to remain calm and professional with this woman but I'm angry and upset. I don't want to mention anything to black Steve but, at the same time, it feels odd that there's all this going on with him being at the centre but him not really knowing. I also know that if I did mention it some of the drivers would take issue with her and I don't want them to get themselves into any trouble either.

I don't know what I'm asking really TBH. just some words of wisdom and advice from MNers would be breat!

[Redken24]

I dont think its fair that you are specifically being told off for it - surely the manager should speak to you all about it.

[Redken24]

because it is racist I mean

[WaxingNinja]

Maybe it's good she's raised it, it might force your workplace to drag themselves into the year 2016, where as far as I'm concerned referring to someone as 'black Steve' is really not acceptable no matter how 'cool' Steve appears to be with it.

Do you have a 'disabled Bob' and a 'gay Jane' too?

Imagine someone new in your workplace got given a nickname they didn't like, do you think they'd feel comfortable raising that as an issue? Or do you think they might be worried they'd be called "uptight", just like you're saying this woman is?

[Blu]

Does the manager use these terms too?
Has the manager been aware of all this?

[OhBollocksFuck]

I'm not disputing that it's not suitable at all. It's a male-dominated workplace. There's lots of 'banter' (ugh, horrible word) which would absolutely not be acceptable in other work environments. Perhaps it is good that she's raised it as an issue but it's annoyed me that she's done this via a formal complaint about one person (me) rather than as a team/workplace culture issue.

[OhBollocksFuck]

Blu Yes, manager uses the terms as well. Everyone does.

[Mozfan1]

Yes op, if she's heard it used numerous times she should have said before, not singled you out.

[SmallBee]

I came on to echo what pp have said, that yes it's not ok for you to be singled out but this is a good opportunity for your whole office to reevaluate it's culture. In the meeting I'd suggest that yes, you understand this is no longer acceptable and probably never was. However it's not just you that needs to change its the office etc, so you suggest from now on you stop referring to people by the way they look and just use surnames instead. This needs to apply to everyone and suggest your manager has a team meeting discussing this, unconscious bias and diversity within the workplace. There are probably companies that offer workshops for this as well.

It might seem a bit ott but it really highlights that you are not the only one doing this, that you are happy to make a change and that it's not ok even if it was six years ago.

[OllyBJolly]

OP - you have been accused of racism because you were being racist. As with any other disciplinary procedure, what anyone/everyone else does is not relevant.

What you have to do now is accept that you have been guilty of racist behaviour, and agree to address that. In many companies this would be gross misconduct. You are not helping your case by pleading that everyone does it, Black Steve doesn't mind, and I'm just waiting on the "it's all just banter"...

[SmallBee]

Oh I'd also take Steve aside and privately apologise to him for doing it, just in case he really isn't ok with it. It would mean a lot.

[roarfeckingroar]

Hate to sound like the Daily Fail but this is a bit PC gone mad. I hate people who claim to be offended on behalf of someone else who absolutely isn't themselves. It's patronising and petty and ugh.

[Blu]

I think you should:
Talk to your union
Be clear that your own intent has never ben racist - that you do not see black nor white as a derogatory term, and that the other Steve has also been described
Acknowledge that in this day and age it is not professional or acceptable to use personal descriptions, and especially where they are protected characteristics
Ask how this should be dealt with as a whole team, given that you are just one member and that you inherited the term from Steve himself.

It really isn't OK, in principle, to refer to people in personal terms in the workplace. It is a big bad world out thee and actual discrimination (especially against people with protected characteristics) is rife. So this custom could and would cause upset to new members of staff.

[OhBollocksFuck]

OllyBJolly My point is that people have been saying 'black Steve' ever since she started, she's heard it multiple times a day from various different people. If I've been racist, so has everyone else and I'm absolutely not willing to be the only person with a mark against my employment record for a behaviour that is shared by everyone.

[Blu]

Right, well if the manager uses the term he is hardly going to slap a disciplinary on you, is he?

So instead of saying 'yeah, but everyone else does it', perhaps say 'we need to address this - it's been going on for how many years, and it isn't right for the workplace'.

[chattygranny]

Calling him Black Steve isn't racist as it's not derogatory in any way. Make this point and explain that the nickname comes from Black Steve himself, but that you can see maybe it isn't the best and that it would be worth speaking to Black Steve privately and then maybe raising this with the whole team.

^^ Irene is spot on here IMO. I would also add that to interpret the word black as pejorative and thus racist is frankly .......... racist. It is all to do with tone, if it were a nasty word like fat or coloured I would get it but I don't see that black is any different to blond or young or someone describing me as 'looks Lebanese'. Surely Steve himself can stop this in his tracks if someone tells him?
Sometimes I think the world has gone mad.

[OhBollocksFuck]

Dixie Scapegoat was the term I was looking for, thanks!!

Blu That's really excellent advice. I'm waiting for the union to call me back.

[DesolateWaist]

I don't think it's fair that you have been singled out.
These are not terms that I would be comfortable with using TBH.

I think the whole office needs to talk about this and someone needs to ask Black Steve about it. Ideally not in front of everyone else. He might actually not be OK with it but doesn't feel able to say anything about it.

[CrazyDuchess]

I would also add that to interpret the word black as pejorative and thus racist is frankly .......... racist

Clearly the viewpoint of someone that has never heard the term "black" used as a pejorative

[CrazyDuchess]

OP I think you are well within your tights to express concern as to why you are the only one being singled out, especially if the manager themselves are repeating the same names.

There is a good learning opportunity here.

[CrazyDuchess]

Gah - rights not tights!

[LunaWeaselton]

It might "be unfair" for you to have been singled out but addressing inappropriate behavior often starts with one person. Just because "black" doesn't have a derogatory meaning to you doesn't make it ok. In some African countries, people are sometimes referred to as black to show that they have an unattractive color.
I'd go by your intentions here, explain you meant no harm and would be willing to change the way you refer to him .Id also suggest you mention they address it to the office . Just don't start by being defensive with the "everyone does it " argument .
I honestly can tell from your post that you meant no harm .

[lougle]

It is racist. In this context. It is saying that of all the things that you could use to differentiate between the two Steves, skin colour is the one that matters. If both Steves had the same skin colour, they would use something like their surname, but because one of them happens to be black, that's all that matters.

It's different if you're giving a description of the perpetrator of a crime, for example. Then, skin colour, height and build would be highly relevant to aid in identification. But when everyone knows the people involved, it's laziness.

I was unwittingly racist (or just ignorant?) last year. I corresponded with a tutor for a course by email. We were greeted face to face by another person who gave us details of our first taught session, so I'd never met the tutor. When we arrived (early) for the first session, people were already in the room and a black woman was at the front, talking. We assumed that these people had booked the session prior to ours. Our start time came and went and they were still in the room. We assumed they were overrunning and that our tutor was late (poor form for the first day!). After another 10 minutes I knocked on the door to ask if there had been a venue change and this woman told us off for being late. She didn't accept our explanation that we'd been outside since 15 minutes before the session started! I can only think that in my subconscious she didn't 'sound black' in her emails (but what does that even sound like - it's complete nonsense!!!) and I assumed my tutor would be 'white'. Utterly stupid and very embarrassing.

[Maraschinocherry]

I am shocked by some of the comments, I shouldn't be surprised but this is just pathetic. You think it's racist to mention someone's colour. Why is that? Are you trying to make people ashamed of it? Since when is it insulting to be white or black, or anything? Sometimes "black" has a racist connotation, so we are forbidden to use it? It's ridiculous. Let's ban the words female, woman, gay.

Saying that someone "doesn't sound black" is derogatory, but describing someone without any connotation at all is not. You people are creating problems. Do not dare describing someone as tall and short, or god forbid fat, or by their hair colour.

There's no shame in being black! I should stop here, this makes me furious.