Is there anyone who'd like to share the trials and tribulations of working full-time?

[Ladylay]

I love perusing MN in my lunch-hour . But there dont seem to be any threads for those of us who are in full-time work whilst bringing up a family.

Whilst I share a load of the same concerns as SAHM's and part-time workers, I also have different stuff to deal with, like just trying to get everyone out the bloody house in the morning on time!! ahem. And wondered if anyone fancied comparing notes, advice etc?

It is tough! I havent got any advice really but I can share some of your burden. I really did not know wether to laugh or cry when a stay at home mum with all children at senior school and a bi-weekly cleaner stated that she was "limping along until half term"!! What does she do all day to cause this exhaustion? I was genuinely baffled. I like my job but find it can separate you rather from Mums who work part time or not at all. I do have the company of my colleagues though, some who are also full timers with children this helps me feel less the odd one out.

Be as organised as you can be. Stuff out the night before, etc. I suppose I am a bit lucky in that I only have one DD to get out the door and my work is fantastically flexible enough for me to be a wee bit late if needs be!

My DD is at nursery 5 mornings and in August starts Primary 1 so thats probably when I'll start to struggle with packed lunches etc

Oh lovely! so glad I've found this thread.

I was only just thinking that I wish I had someone to talk to understands the hecticness (is that a word??) of our life!!!.

All my friends are either single or childless or dont work outside of the home. I find people actually get annoyed with me when Im not around for a chat or a cuppa etc.. as I.just.dont.have.the.time. One in particular appears to think Im making it up to avoid her but I understand that she'll only understand when she has her own. (she 27, lives with her parents and only works part time - no children. She started a course in the evenings but quit after 2 months as she was missing too much due to exhaustion and had to sleep instead ).

I have dd (5), ds (13 months) and am 27 weeks pregnant with number 3. I work full time and am studying for my degree at night (in year 2 of a 3 year degree at the minute).

I met a woman close to where I live on an Irish parenting site and she understood exactly as (weirdly), worked same hours as me, was studying for her degree and our dc were exactly the same age (actually we met on ante natal thread when pregnant with number 2, theres 3 days between ours - shes also now 27 weeks pregnant too!!)but she now cant afford the childcare for 3 (understandably!!) and is either giving up work completely or going part time. I, ridiculously, selfishly felt really saddened and alone by this news!! PML..

God I've really rambled and talked rubbish..

ladylay how many dc do you have? what age?

Hi everyone,

I have one DD (2.7) and another on the way for my sins. I suppose I'm lucky in a way as I teach so have the holidays (as everyone reminds me on a regular basis) but by the term-times are restrictive as we are independent school and work Saturday mornings as well!

For example DD needs measuring for shoes which wwe'll have to do on Sunday along with all the laundry and cleaning and dog walking twice a day. The biggest commitment outside childcare is the dogs. Its all of our own making and and I wouldnt have it any other way but it makes for a 'full' life doesnt it?

I love my job but theres no option to go part-time in my department. The main reason I'm sticking with it is so we get a discount on the fees for DD (and other). But I miss her now shes getting to an interesting age I have to say.

I DO find it tough when I stupidly read posts about 'What do you do with your day once all your children are at school' tho'. (Must stop sadistically reading them).

Ooh can I join? I work full time in a hectic job and have dd1 6 y and dd2 2 y. I also have lots of work travel thrown in - am writing this from hotel room in Washington! Lovely to share the battle-weary camaraderie as I too would not have it any other way! Well, mostly...

Barbie, I thought I was busy but studying as well- good on you!

As you say Georgiepig I'm mostly happy with the situation but could do with a 'well done' pat on the back sometimes too! Perhaps we can provide this for each other while we're here!

Its all very well having the school holidays off but I find I often still have to send DD to nursery just so I can get the mundane stuff done that I cant do in term-time like cleaning, urgent decorating and sorting out of finances. But the guilt is awful when I'm at home and shes not I feel like she should be there too .

Can I join in? I work f/t and have one DD (3.4).

What I find really difficult is the feeling that I just want to spend the precious time I have with DD with her (and DP) and I actually find myself getting annoyed with friends and family making demands on our time at weekends. I know it's totally unreasonable to see it as "making demands" but sometimes that's how it feels.

My dad is forever guilt tripping me about how little he sees DD but he lives in another town and doesn't seem to understand that at the weekend I need to do the boring stuff (food shopping and cleaning) and then I just want to spend a bit of time with DD rather than traipsing off to visit people.

God, I'm horrible aren't I?

I just find it all a bit exhausting TBH and don't understand how other working mums find time to have a social life as well.

Georgiepig I'd be interested to hear how you deal with the travel. I've got to go away for a couple of nights next week (the longest I've been away from DD). It's in the UK but I'm still really stressed about it.

Georgiepig your job sounds very glamorous!! I do think we set a good example to the kids, especially the girls, to have a work hard ethic and just go for stuff. My parents both worked throughout my childhood and altho' it was nice to arrive home to a warm house and tea on the table when my Mum was off, I still felt loved and doted upon. I think you just feel guilty as a Mum whatever you do. That probably sounds a bit old-fashioned!

Anniemac I'm ashamed to say I feel like I manage better without DP in the mix. DD and I just seem to organise ourselves better without him sometimes! Know this most definitely wont be the case with two tho' and I'm already trying to suss how a babys going to fit into our routines. Not easily I suspect..

Rambling I know exactly what you mean about your Dad. I'd love DD to see more of my Dad but he's so inflexible about times and dates and seems to expect us to fit round him when the most important thing he has to do is post a letter and I'm balancing a milllion different tasks at once..grr..

I find every second I'm not at work I want to pack in time with DD so a cleaner is definitely top of my wish list as soon as the finances improve. Gotta find a dog-friendly one tho' as one of our dogs goes hysterical when the hoover starts. Not sure what we're gonna do about this.

Can I join too? I've got one dd and work full-time whilst studying part-time and dreaming nagging dp for of another...

I find it frustrating that no-one in my family understands my choices nor are able to help out (even if they did understand them) and most of my friends are without the same commitments. I'd love the virtual 'pat on the back' once in a while too. And get some proper war-advice from the rest of you!

Today though I feel very smug as my dd's nursery had a professional photographer in to do nursery pictures and I very boldly asked if I could book the photographer to do pictures of dd and I. So I rolled todays nursery drop-off and photo shoot all into one. Very smug! Think that will be close family christmas pressies done too! Now if I could just magic coffee to appear I'd be sorted

I'm in. I have 1 dd (nearly 3) work full time and have no family nearby to help. I do have a DH who is off at the weekends but we only have 4 days off every 5 weeks together, so I don't want to trek round seeing family on these days.

My hardest thing for me is when I finish at Midnight (or 2,3 or 4 if I'm kept on) to be woken up at 630 to "Mummy I'm awake" getting increasingly louder!

I sometimes dream of having a little shop or some other fanciful thing, but in order to live where we do the fact is I need to work.

Our parents say 'Well it's your choice to work' and other such useful things. I know it is but it doesn't mean it's not bloody hard.

How does anyone cope with 2? I am so clucky and I think I may have persuaded DH too!

Would love to hear any tips anyone has on how to make things easier.

Finishing at midnight? God, that sounds hard aprilfoolsbaby! I work 8-4 and am very strict about not working over my hours unless it's really really important. I'm usually so exhausted by the time DD goes to bed that I just fall into bed around 9pm. I can't imagine how tiring it must be working really long hours. Hats off to you!

I assumed that lots of MNers work f/t but I take it from this thread that that's not the case? So are most MNers SAHMs or p/t then?

Ooh can I join? Work full time (one day a week from home), have a 7 yr old and 3 yr old, debating having a third. Have an unexpected day off today as plans fell through and it's bliss. DD on school trip, dd2 at nursery. Am spring cleaning the house (in between mumsnetting obviously).
I find maintaining relationships outside work is hard, unless it's fellow parents and we can have playdates over coffee, I just never seem to have time to see people. Am impressed with the studying mums, wow, how do you do it?

I'm joining in too! Got a 14 month old and ausband that works away quite a lot during the week.
Stuff like shopping online really helps and having a few birthday cards and presents in storage!
Don't know what I would do without the internet.

I am just building back up to FT after DS2. Currently do 4 days/week, but next month it is full time, and work is 60 miles from home. I could not do it without my DH, if I'm honest. We both get up at 6, and he goes for a run with the dog while I shower and BF the baby. I leave home at 7, so I am in shortly after 8 (or 10 if the traffic is shit!) DH drops DS1 with a neighbour before school (breakfast club won't take reception children), drops DS2 at nursery, and goes to work himself. I leave work at 4.30ish, so I am home by 6, just as DH gets back from collecting the baby from nursery plus DS1 and our neighbour's son from after school club. I also have to travel for work, so he ends up doing everything those days.

I am able to work from home a couple of days a week (off sick today, so indulging on MN) which helps with the tiredness. The dog goes to work with DH, or stays with me if I am at home, and drives me bonkers trying to sit on my knee.

We share the laundry (we try to chuck on a load every morning, so it is ready when we get in, or overnight), the cooking (lots of quick meals from Olive), the tiredness (except I do the night shift while I am still BF) etc. We have a cleaner who I could not do without, as it means our evenings our mostly ours once the DC are in bed. Ditto what KenDodd said re the internet!

I too would be lost without online shopping! Just do not understand how shopping could otherwise be done. Sounds like quite a few of you have really tight schedules too and more demanding commutes/work hours than I. I take my hat off to you! In fact, we should get superhero emoticons on MN as you all deserve a big one - here goes [superhero] .

I used to have a 70 mile commute to work so I really feel for you PlasticLentilWeaver. We moved recently closer to my work which is how I get to study I guess. I started my degree just as I became pregnant with dd, all my family said things like "oh now your going to have to quit your degree" so I thought I'd show them . Just 12-18 months left now!

I did our first online shop this week. (Well DH did it and I was in for the delivery.) The slot was 9 - 11. It came at 1055 and there were things missing. AAAGGGGHHHH. The guy said he'd come back later and I just told him not to bother. Needless to say I've been to the supermarket this morning to get the missing things! Never again.

I suppose one good thing about shift work is that I get days off in the week when I can go to the dentist, take the dog to the groomers etc etc. Though I start at 3 tomorrow so when everyone else is getting ready for the weekend I've got that horrible Sunday night feeling.

As for cleaning, I wish I'd got a cleaner when I went back to work after maternity leave but I didn't and we've since moved house so can't really stretch to it. One day .....

Gosh.. am in awe of all you busy people.

We too are nowhere near family that can help out and I did think we were a bit foolish to keep two dogs too but if you guys can do it, so can I!

anniemac I'm probably being thick but what is RL?

PLW I will definitely be consulting Olive for recipes. I already pick up Sainsburys mag. from time to time (if we not ordering online haha). When we're both back late its pizza and salad night!

Nursery gives them tea (muffin or similar) around 4 so lucky shes not STARVING when we get back. Nursery been great actually; potty training, providing tons of spare clothes etc.

PS. PLW I had a 50 mile commute before I had DD and its a killer. We moved closer to my work as a result when she was born. Now DP has the commute, which he never ceases to remind me when I'm nagging about chores !

Oh to be able to move closer, but DH is Forces to add to the mix, so we live where he works. This suits in that rent is cheap, but is counterbalanced by enormous fuel costs. However, he is currently in a posting with no overseas deployment, so no risk of single parenthood at the moment. We were only 5 miles from work and had one DS when I took the job.