Is there anyone who'd like to share the trials and tribulations of working full-time?

[Ladylay]

I love perusing MN in my lunch-hour . But there dont seem to be any threads for those of us who are in full-time work whilst bringing up a family.

Whilst I share a load of the same concerns as SAHM's and part-time workers, I also have different stuff to deal with, like just trying to get everyone out the bloody house in the morning on time!! ahem. And wondered if anyone fancied comparing notes, advice etc?

I have news, I am back on maternity leave! didn't last long as a mother working full time!! on the fourth day back I realised it wasn't good for me and for my daughter, and that I could afford not to work for another six months, and with some changes going on at work I didn't even have anything interesting to do, so I went to the bosses and told them I made a mistake coming back so early and if there was any chance, since I had only been back four days, to reinstate my maternity leave so I could take the full year.

I though I might be crazy doing this but it felt right and I couldn't stand being at work for another day, and the funny thing is the bosses were great about it, completely understood and they had HR arrange all the paperwork for me within a couple of hours, and then I was free again :-).

I am keeping DD in the nursery half days now so that I don't have to go through the settling in again later in the year, and I think she will be fine going 4-6 hours per day, while I can use the time to rethink what to do when the next six months are up.

I must say I really admire you all, I always thought I would definitely be a full-time working mum but I realised I can't do it now. All my feminist ideals are crushed but somehow I am happy and my daughter is happy so it must be the right thing.

I'll add my story here even though things have changed recently plus I recognise it's easier for us as we only have one child.

I went back to FT work when DD was 10 months old. I found a fantastic mother-daughter CM duo who look after DD from 8.30 to 6pm. DD settled in immediately - no tears, not even on day 1, and has thrived in this home-from-home environment. She's a very happy little girl.

DH, DD and I survive on strict routines. When I used to commute: All up at 6.30am, I'd put load of laundry on if needed on 1 hour cycle for DH to put on tumble or on line or on clotheshorse an hour later, DH gave milk and got DD ready and I jumped into shower, then I gave DD breakfast whilst DH got in shower and I also got ready for work. I left house by 7.45 and at my desk by 8.15/8.30. DH dropped DD off at CMs at 8.30 and went to work.

I left work at 5 to collect DD by 5.30/5.45pm and we were home by 6pm. CMs gave DD her cooked lunch and dinner. Once home, I played with DD, got her ready for bed and she was in bed for 7. Then I got dinner ready (we always menu planned and shopped on the weekends). Weekday meals sometimes cooked in advance on weekends and frozen or else stir fries so evening meals very quick. I was often relaxing (or working again) by 8pm and we ate when DH got home around 9pm. Our bed around 11pm.

No housework at all during the week except quick wipe of toilet and kitchen surfaces and general quick tidy up of stuff. All cleaning/housework/hoovering/bedding-laundry kept to weekends, first thing Saturday equally split between DH and I and all done within an hour (largish 3-bed house), menu plan for week and shop (online too) then do as we please all weekend. DH irons his shirts on Sundays when DD is having her dinner at 5pm.

I now work from home so no longer have to commute and mornings no longer a rush so I can spend more time with DD one-to-one before DH takes her to the CMs at 8.30. Still keep housework for weekends, but laundry can be done at leisure.

Works for us and always has worked for us. I didn't have working guilt either because DD was so obviously loving being with the CMs.

Hi All, my DD is 8 weeks old & I am due back to work when she will be about 20 weeks old & I am dreading it already! I work 50 hrs p/wk before working late, right up until DD was born I was working up to 60 hrs but that has all changed now. The thought of leaving her all day is horrible :( As I am a Branch Manager I am unable to go part time & hubby is disabled & doesn't work so I really have no choice but to go back to work. I am considering changing my job/hrs so I can spend more time with DD but I am unable to afford a drop in money.

hi all, never done this sort of thing b4 but i have been inspired by everyones comments so here goes nothing....

I was really surprised to see that so many other mums have full time jobs and run the house with children thrown in too (and many other things on top)! i returned to work in january (30 hrs wk) after having my second ds (now 12 mths), my first ds (4) and have been telling myself that there must be so many other women managing and so should i? I feel like everyday is a struggle and if i'm not with the children i'm at work or asleep and don't actually get the time to appreciate the children. I am now feeling ill and led to believe i have post natal depression, i'm not really sure where to go from here, i guess everyone on here has shown that it can be done.

well done, its not as appreciated as it should be i feel.

Hi there, I'd like to join in - I work ft with two dds aged 1 and 4. Am tired all the time, too. DH is freelance and often away, but I do get a lot of help from my mum. My worst thing I think is I feel that the girls miss out on play dates because I'm at work and can't take them...

shhhw................i know exactly how you feel, i want to spend more time with my boys but its just not happening. my mum also helps so much, and my dp is good once he's been told what needs doing!!! i also feel like i need some 'me' time as i get none, but hey ho, we carry on regardless, which is, i think, par for the course when ur 'mum'!!!

keep up the good work, its not easy and no-one really knows until they've done it.

What I do not like about working FT is the guilt which comes with it.

DS moved from the baby's room to the toddlers' one this week and while he never had a problem to go there, he now cries when I leave him.

I now he stops as soon as I'm out of the room and that it is just adaptation and it'll stop soon. But even knowing that, I arrive to work in the morning feeling guilty to work FT and having to leave him at nursery.

I'd like to join please! My DD is almost 6 months and I am going back to work full time In September. I am Head of English in a high school, just 10 minutes away from where we live. Would have to step down if wanted to work part time and don't really want to/can afford to do this. I loved my job before - a proper little career girl me, and have a fab team of friends to work with. But now...? I love my daughter even more. Am hoping that I will still love my job as much as I used to. Trying not to think about it TBH but it's haunting me slightly. The disapproving looks from other mums when they ask if I'm going back part time is not helping either. Any moral support/words of wisdom out there?

I can't believe how tired i am all the time but how hard i find it to go to sleep. I've only been back ft for 2 months and am now really missing the school run and spending time with my kids. Weekends I'm busy doing jobs/ cooking and the kids moan that i'm always busy. had to join the gym a month ago as i'm putting on weight due to not doing the school run. There must be more to life than work, gym etc. I went out twice last week with my best mates who I hadn't seen for weeks (cinema/ pub) and boy am I paying for it now. Soooooo drained. Dh works p/t and is at home with kids and feel jealous of this but he isn't qualified in anything so can't earn th money I can! :(