Is there anyone who'd like to share the trials and tribulations of working full-time?

[Ladylay]

I love perusing MN in my lunch-hour . But there dont seem to be any threads for those of us who are in full-time work whilst bringing up a family.

Whilst I share a load of the same concerns as SAHM's and part-time workers, I also have different stuff to deal with, like just trying to get everyone out the bloody house in the morning on time!! ahem. And wondered if anyone fancied comparing notes, advice etc?

Anniemac

We do everything ourselves. Unfortunately, my family disowned me, due to me marrying my husband. So, we have no outside help at all.

I get up at 415 and cook the dinner, so that saves me doing that later on.

Husband gets up about 20 mins later, whilst the dinner is cooking etc., i have quick breakfast, then shower, etc., and we both do general tidying up.

my youngest 2, who are 14 months and 3, are up by about 5am, give them both breakfast, shower etc., The older 2 who are 13 and 8, get up by 6, usual breakfast and shower. my oldest who is 15 gets up at 7 and organises herself.

I then leave the house at 655 to start work at 715, then i finish
work at 1515 and get the youngest 2 from nursery. Husband drops then off in the morning.

It is incredibly hectic, and my older 2 girls help out tremendously. Again, if you don't have a lot of choices in life, you just get on with it.

My oldest 2 are incredibly proud of me, and they see me as an inspiration!!

sorry that was very long.

Anniemac

I wouldn't say that i was inspirational. Like i said, you just get on with it.

We all need to pay bills etc.,

I like to cook dinner in the mornings, so at least that is one thing out of the way, i just wouldn't get the time in the evening, and when i came back from getting the children. I have to have food pretty much straightaway, (i am diabetic).

I like getting up early, you can get an awful lot of things done in a short space of time. Also, i am extremely well organised, and doing like faffing about.

yes, i do go to bed very early, about 9, as my youngest still wakes up a few times for a breastfeed.

I'll join in too. I have 2 DDs (5 and almost 3) and work full time.

It helps a lot that DH works from home so does school run, tidies up, dishwasher, hangs clothes from washing machine and prepares dinner. I organise the laundry and I iron (essential ironing) while watching TV at night. We have a cleaner, just the minimum but it means I don't have to worry about bathrooms and kitchen and hoovering but I occasionally need to do a deeper clean to top up.

As a rule we don't do chores at the weekend, that is time to enjoy with the children. I shop online with Ocado every week, I buy clothes online or run on my lunch hour to nearest shop. DD1 goes to after school club twice a week and to a neighbour's house once a week. Then once a week DH picks her up and once I leave work early and pick her up and usually organise a play date or tea with one of her friends.

DH and I try to go out at least one night a week each and occasionally get a babysitter, as we don't have family nearby.

It is hectic and being organised helps, but I am also learning to let go of things that are not critical (like cleaning or having an immaculate house) and being good enough.

Hello, can I join? I have 1 DD (2.10). DH is working abroad this month and usually has 4 or 5 months away each year. However, when he is home he does all the food shopping, his share of nursery runs, cleaning etc.

When DH is away I do have to be more organised with cleaning and washing. I also book all doctors and dentists appointments. I am also sorting out DD's birthday party. I have no family to help me out.

When DH is away, I do find the weekends can get a bit lonely. I don't feel I can organise much with DD's nursery friends since I assume they all want to spend family time together.

running even though DH is at home I like to meet friends at the weekend for playdates as it gets us out of the house and DS enjoys them. I have loads of friends who are happy to meet, either for the same reason or because their OH work at the weekend. Why not ask them and see what they say? You may be pleasantly surprised as they may have been thinking the same thing.

I also wouldn't see a lot of friends if we didn't do the weekend

Oh, and a question for you lot with cleaners...

How often and how long and what do you get? I think I want someone to do the bathrooms and downstairs floors as this is the most mucky bit of the house really. How much do I need do you think?

trixymalixy He is desperately trying to get a job but the downturn has not been kind to IT folk. After 3 years you get rather about the whole thing. His age and experience are against him - both a bit too high. They want cheap folk and feedback is usually implied to be of the 'we thought we couldn't afford you' kind, even though he is desperate and would take anything! We had one where they used the excuse that they thought he wouldn't like commuting 45 mins to a nearby town - when it's an hour into London and he used to do that. sigh

After 4 interviews for the last likely one, they pulled out of wanting someone entirely, baffling everyone including the agency. Would have been perfect too.

He doesn't do my supper because I'm trying to lose weight (again) and I prefer to do my own. Not his fault, mine!

You have no idea how much I want a moo cow biscuit right now...

Had day off today. Paid nearly 300 quid for a pair of specs. I've never before paid more than about £80 in my life for specs! I wish I didn't need varifocals now!

Ah - others are also telling me to give DH a kick up the posterior. I should also have mentioned that he's under a physio for a frozen shoulder and the physio has told him not to do any heavy work or lifting! Also that it may last 18mths-2yrs and if it doesn't resolve, it'll be surgery.

This after the other one went out just before DS was born and took a year to fix because of the 6 month wait for the physios round here...

Makes me as if folk could get prompt referrals the problems could be fixed easily instead of spending months unable to sleep a full night because of the pain. Bah!

Moonbells we aren't having a go really but I think its that we all appreciate how important it is that our OH pull their weight. Sounds like you're having a time of it and I can appreciate how tough it is being the sole breadwinner and having to be the traditional 'dad' role as well as the 'mum'.

Anyway, nearly bedtime for us all isn't it?

Wow pomegranate five, very impressive. I'm still debating no. 3.
Schedule is like a well oiled machine at the moment.
6.45 - get up, have shower, get dressed whilst hubby feeds cats, puts washing up away, wipes surfaces in kitchen (where cats have been sleeping), puts laundry on timer to finish when I get home.
7.15 - get kids up, give them breakfast, whilst they're eating make lunches whilst hubby has shower and gets dressed
7.45 - oldest goes upstairs to get herself dressed, hair brushed, teeth cleaned, hubby takes up youngest to do the same. I clean up after breakfast, sort out bags, finish getting myself ready.
8.05 - hubby leaves for station, I drop youngest at nursery, oldest at before school club and drive to work.
9.00 - arrive at work, have breakfast and marvel at the fact that my colleagues who don't have kids to drop off are again late!
5.00 - finish work, pick up oldest from after school club, youngest from nursery and go home.
5.45 - do simple dinner for oldest, youngest eats at nursery
6.10 - hubby gets in, feeds cats, takes laundry upstairs
6.30 - bath children, stories, bed
7.00 - I hang up laundry whilst hubby washes up, one of us cooks
8.00 - sit down and eat dinner and relax!
Homework, housework and shopping all done at the weekend.

Mercedes my cleaner comes once a week for two and a half hours. We have a three bed, two bathrooms, reception and kitchen diner. We pay £25 for the whole session but it is money well spent as far as I am concerned.

Our routine is, more or less:

• 7.30 get up (should be earlier but we are bad...)
• I dress children while DH showers
• 7.45 He gives them breakfast while I get ready and tidy up a bit
• 8.00 Help oldest get ready, do hair, teeth etc
• 8.15-8.30 I leave with youngest for nursery (we have onsite nursery) and work. DH takes oldest to school
• 9.00 have dropped child, I put my make up on in the car while listening to radio, for some reason these five minutes are essential!
• 9.15 get to work, grab breakfast to have at desk
• 5.45 pick up child from nursery
• 6.15 home, dinner usually ready. If not, I'll cook something easy and quick, stir frys, chicken breasts with salad, that kind of thing. As a last resort we may have beans on toast, but that's fine because we all get mostly proper meals.
• 7.30 children go up, bath, books, bed. We take turns at this, the other one relaxes or catches up with work, laundry, etc
• 9.00 if there is ironing to do I sit down in sofa and watch taped series, or I fold down clothes.
• 11.00 I get caught up in MN! I always go to bed too late!!

Hi Ladies

I have read the whole thread, and i can say TO ALL YOU WONDERFUL LADIES THAT WORK FULL-TIME/PART-TIME, WITH/WITHOUT CHILDREN. You are all truly awesome, and should duly proud for all your acheivements.

Even at the weekends, I am early, as i find, so much can be done in a very short space of time.

I do find, that unfortunately, when you are working and children are ill, nobody wants to know, and trying to get time off is awful, as my boss anyway, lays a massive guilt trip on me. that is the worst thing about working full-time for me.

would love to be in a position to work part-time, but i can't, so we all plod along!!

catch up soon.

superstar not killed, just the nature of the workers, I think it'll be one of those threads that drops down, then pops to again as anyone needs support.

moonbells didn't mean to make you feel bad about your DH when you're having a tough time already, but light cleaning, tidying, laundry etc don't involve heavy work or lifting. You said initially that he won't rather than can't help. If he genuinely can't, then fair enough, but if it's won't, you do need to get him to do what he can. Then, when he is back in work, and/or the shoulder better, reevaluate your task allocation.

mercedes we have 2 cleaners, but they come at the same time, and blitz the house in an hour or so once a week. Dusting, hoovering, clean bathrooms, kitchen, mop etc. It costs £20. We Hoover and sweep kitchen in between times, but we are NOT house proud

We have two cleaners that come once a week for an hour and a half, so 3 hours in total. They come on a Thursday so the house is clean(ish) for the weekend.

The kids have tea at their gran's 3 days a week, which makes things so much easier. the two nursery days they have something like chicken drumsticks, potatoes and sweetcorn or spag Bol.

I am on a diet so have diet ready meals most of the week, one takeaway and cook on a Saturday and Sunday night. Lazy I know, but I'm rubbish at portion sizes.

Moonbells, that sound a lot different to how you described things in your first post. Must be very hard for you.

DH works in IT too, so I can sympathise. Not a great industry to work in ATM.

I'm a FTer, it's knackering isn't it? I love my job and changed from PT to FT to get it. It's weekends that are the hardest, I feel like I have thousands of things to do and all my body and mind want to is rest. I'm lucky that I work in the town centre and have an hour lunch so I can get all my errands done during the week and do food shopping on my way home on a Monday. DH helps a lot he gets DD ready in the mornings, takes and picks her up from nursery and will feed her if I'm stuck in traffic. Ideally I'd like to back to 3 days a week, but I don't think my job would allow it.

Oh, this is an eyeopener. I'm starting back FT in a couple of weeks time after 3 years out (DD1 is 3.1 and DD2 is 7mths).

I'm slightly worried about high stress levels as we're nowhere near family and I can't ever rely on DH to be around as he's in the Forces, but there are some good tips here so I'll be getting a cleaner and may be bulk cooking at the weekends.

I'm also worried about me missing the girls, and them missing me. Does working FT = continual guilt trip?

I feel much better reading this - to know that there're other people in the same boat. I've noticed that since going back to work FT when DD (nearly 3)was 6 months old, that problems at work don't bother me as much and I worry much less about work related stuff. I wonder about the rest of you?

My shifts are 8 - 5 or 3 -12, so at least I get variety on our daily routine. Also I work 3 or 4 shifts in a row and get two days off. Of course this plays havoc with child care. We have a child minder who is flexible, so one week DD might go there 3 days a week and the following week it may be 4 1/2 days. Still costs a fortune though and we pretty much have to agree to anything the CM wants (10% pay rise, change in contract etc etc) I don't know what we'll do when DD starts school or when we have another DC.

Offline - definitely get a cleaner, I wish I had when I went back to work and now have trundled on without one and can't afford it. (saving to have time off if we are lucky enough to have another DC!)

I don't feel guilty about working full time. My DD goes to both myself and DH equally and is confident and sociable. They just accept that you work. What I have done though is put a blackboard on the kitchen wall with the days of the week down the side and then write on what she is doing that week as she likes to know in advance.

Enjoy your weekends........ I'm off to work

Hi Can I join you? I'm about 12 weeks in of being back at work ft with 1 Dd aged 14mo and, to be honest, I'm struggling, so this thread is really inspirational.

I'm pleased to be back at work and don't feel guilty as I am enjoying it and DD loves nursery but it's the home stuff that's become a total nightmare...

Arguing with DP about housework, family moaning that they don't get to see us or coming to visit us for hours at at time every weekend and DD has been ill recently so we've been juggling work and staying home to look after her etc etc

Online grocery shopping and running the washer full pelt on my working from home days have been my saviours so far but I see that as ways of making my life run a bit easier and getting chores done

As supersal says I feel like I've no time for me at all so I'd like to know how to fit that stuff in, even if it's just going swimming once a week or having 30 minutes to faff about with some beauty products and do my hair nicely

Ooh, ooh, me too! DS 17 months and have been back full time since he was 9 months. Currently trying for no.2, but finding it v. difficult because after coming home, playing, making baby tea, putting baby to bed, having own tea (cooked by dh, to0 o be fair), marking/paperwork/planning; sex is the last thing on my mind. I never thought at 16 that I'd be having to force myself into getting jiggy with it so that we could be done by the time the pizzas are cooked!

So yeah, it's bloody hard work, innit? SOmetimes feel slightly envious of mum who had no choice but to be a sahm, as childcare costs in teh 80s were so prohibitive.