Why some women don't identify with feminism

[happysmiley]

I aaw on another tread someone saying that the more they thought about it, the more they thought they weren't a feminist. Someone else on a different thread said that the Feminism topic has a "reputation" elsewhere. I know that if I were to ask most of my female friends if they were feminists, I'd probably just get a puzzled look, maybe a reluctant "yes" but not much enthusiasm.

So why is this? Why don't women identify with feminism?

And what can we do to get women on board? Because if women aren't willing to sign up, men hardly will.

I don't know minipie where the 4 years comes from, I just seem to remember it.

It certainly holds with all of my friends, I am the only one with a younger OH. The rest have older partners - quite a bit older actually. Probably averaging 7 years or so.

Bizarrely my mum is older than my dad by the same gap as DH and I, and DHs sisters are all with younger men too. Wonder what it all means... (nothing, probably )

"Bizarrely my mum is older than my dad by the same gap as DH and I"

Same here, does this mean we are turning into our parents?!

first marriage age gap was 2 years in 2000 accoring to here.

Interesting...

It's a long time since I've read that book, but are you arguing that rape hasn't played a critical function in instilling fear in women?

I seem to remember her discussing this in the context of men raping women as an act of war and pointing out that wherever there is war, rape goes hand in hand. I think she discussed the systematic rape of German women by the allies in 1945 (can't quite remember, as I said it's a long time ago), but you could easily update with Bosnia, the Congo, etc.

Sorry am addressing that to Shrieking Harpy

I'm a woman and I don't identity as a feminist because I don't like what modern feminism has become. I appreciate the earlier iterations but the current 4th wave has gone off track with fighting for things that I just don't believe in/agree with (trans rights, sex work and quotas for example).

Why another zombie thread? What is going on?

Because they think it will get them love.

My mum was one of those, raised to be a doormat and thought men could love (especially submissive, motherly women). Loved her boytchik, did not give a fuck about her daughters. Died pretty much alone.

MRA/TRA disruption, and people don't check dates before posting

Did check the date beforehand, am not bothered, as it is a valid question. Also, TRAs are brigading so many topics right now, on every platform basically. I can´t even enjoy reddit/houseplants anymore. They need to invade everything by throwing that gross turquoise-pink-brown flag over it. Excuse me, I have to go and vomit.

This is very much the kind of thing that makes me disinclined to consider myself a feminist.

The assumption that your definition of what that means is the correct one. The assumption that anyone who disagrees with you can only do so because they are stupid. The assumption they must be historically illiterate. Who wants to belong to a movement with that level of smugness.

Ah bugger.

We seem to get these in waves.

I think some women believe all the big battles have been won and to be fair, when I talk to my mum about this stuff it's shocking how recently really basic rights were actually won.
Another problem is this idea that we're all supposed to agree on everything, or we're somehow traitors to the sisterhood.
Seeing some of the posts in the feminism topic, there are some sisters who seem to spend more time bitching about other women and that's a big turn-off.

I think some posters revive these old threads to try and be disruptive. Pathetic, but what they're far too thick to realise is:

• these issues are as old as time. They don't stop being relevant. They never will do.
• it's heartening to see women making good arguments across the years. We like discussing these issues.
• the arguments are still rock solid and have stood the test of time, unlike ideologies that will wane eventually.
• it's nice to be reminded of posters we forgot about!