Why some women don't identify with feminism

[happysmiley]

I aaw on another tread someone saying that the more they thought about it, the more they thought they weren't a feminist. Someone else on a different thread said that the Feminism topic has a "reputation" elsewhere. I know that if I were to ask most of my female friends if they were feminists, I'd probably just get a puzzled look, maybe a reluctant "yes" but not much enthusiasm.

So why is this? Why don't women identify with feminism?

And what can we do to get women on board? Because if women aren't willing to sign up, men hardly will.

I am a feminist-I think that it gives the right to choose. I chose to change my name, be Mrs and stay at home when my DCs were young-a career isn't important to me. I don't like feminism if it tells me that I can't do any of these things and if it dictates how I should think. I am all for rights of women-primarily the 'right to choose'.

But why wouldn't you want equal pay for doing the same job?

i dont identify with feminism on a political level at all. Furthermore i reject the notion that to do so,means i am 'thick'

i believe that fractioned groups take away from the whole and therefore hinder libertas.

i believe in much more than gender equality, i believe in equality for all.

I think that lot of people (men and women) see feminism as an attack on men. That if women can it must be at the expense of men. But I don't think it has to be a zero sum game.

On a personal level, DH has benefited greatly from the fact that I go out to work. It takes the pressure off him as the breadwinner. He knows that it's not his sole responsibility to support his family and we can rely on my income if we need to.

On the domestic front, I think that feminists should be fighting for greater rights for men to flexible working arrangement and parental leave (and I know many are). It benefits them to be able to take an active part in family life. Most have started to find that they enjoy it.

I think we desperately need to move away from the idea that women's gain is men's loss. It certainly isn't true.

tethersend, you're right: when David Mitchell said that women won't find empowerment up a pole, he was applauded, whereas when feminists say the same thing we get told we're trying to limit women's freedom

Some brands of feminism ironically promote the idea of women as victims who don't know their own minds. I find that offensive.

I am a feminist however, but I belive in gender equality and do not see women as weak-willed idiots who cannot stand up for themselves.

dittany, try Islam then. Terrible press because of the extremist element. But plenty of people willing to stand up and be counted as muslims. Most obviously say that they don't agree with the extremists, that they simply agree with the central elements of their faith which aren't extreme and don't hate anyone who is not a muslim.

Maybe feminists need to be equally clear. Make sure everyone knows that feminists don't all subscribe to a ranting, man-hating, extremist philosophy.

I can't stand up for myself. I like the idea that society and the legal system will step in, in situations where i can't stand up for myself. (Of course a lot of the time at the moment they don't).

Tulips I am a feminist and I don't want you to have to work or stop dressing sexily. What I want is for you to have teh right to work if you choose, and that if you dress sexily it doesn't mean that some men think it is a signal that they are allowed to shout obscenities at you, touch you, or rape you. And that if these things do happen, society and the legal system will back you up, rather than saying you deserved it because of dressing sexily.

"Make sure everyone knows that feminists don't all subscribe to a ranting, man-hating, extremist philosophy."

You say that as if feminists are failing to correct these myths, but in fact feminists don't have a voice in politics and in the mainstream media.

just picking up happysmiley's point re; the going out to work takingpressure off her dh.

i would just like to remind you that wokring class women have a lways worked - AND that the right to work wasn't won.

now equal pay is a diff matter. and ofcourse needs to be sorted

There are two billion Christians, including one billion Catholics. There are about 1.2 billion Muslims.

I don't because 'Feminism' to me is about sneering at women who want to be sahm, who want the whole 'housewife' thing! When people say they're feminists, the next thing that tends to come out of their mouths is how people like me are letting the side down, putting the cause back to the 1950s...

Well, I thought the whole women's rights thing was about giving women the right to choose! But no, if you want your life to be about home and family, then feminists seem to hate you.

ime.

But they are failing to correct them, aome may be trying, but they are dismally failing.

dittany's point re: allthe things that have helped women, the laws, the intitutional changes =, etc.

makes it sound like there was a group of feminists who fought and won for those rights.

also the vote and jumping in front of horses etc, was for middle class women , poor plebs still considered too thickto vote.

ilovemydog.... Because if i've taken several years off then i don't believe i have an automatic right to the same pay as someone who has more years of on the job experience than me because they've been working throughout the time i've taken off... whether they be male or female.

When i chose to leave the workforce to raise my children that was a consideration, if i had wanted to be entitled to the same pay when i went back i would have done Xenia and gone straight back to work and my pay would have increased year by year due to my performance and experience. Maternity leave does not give you any work experience so it is insane to suggest that a woman who's been off on maternity leave for a year should automatically receive the same pay increase as her colleagues who have been working throughout that year.

HS, how can we correct those myths when our voices are never heard against the din of mainstream media putting about lies and myths about feminism, even women's magazines (see that ridiculous quiz from Company magazine that was discussed on here recently)?

Even on here, dittany and others are constantly having to rebut these false ideas about feminism but it falls on deaf ears.

Maybe it is an opportunity to attack feminists, but I think people who don't agree should get a chance to tell us why. Unless we understand why women aren't willing to sign up, how will we ever win them over?

JustMyTwoPenceWorth

According to a thread on here, feminism has sod all to do with giving women choices.

Good point custardo. My mother, my grandmothers and greatgrandmothers all worked. One of whom had two jobs for awhile.

Feminism has sod all to do with the "right to work". We've always worked, we've worked bloody hard for centuries. It has only been a small minority who could afford to stay at home until recently.

Feminism to me, is there to improve opportunities for us and therefore the choices available. Anything else is an attempt to replace patriarchy with a matricarchy - which is fairly pointless in my eyes.