Why some women don't identify with feminism

[happysmiley]

I aaw on another tread someone saying that the more they thought about it, the more they thought they weren't a feminist. Someone else on a different thread said that the Feminism topic has a "reputation" elsewhere. I know that if I were to ask most of my female friends if they were feminists, I'd probably just get a puzzled look, maybe a reluctant "yes" but not much enthusiasm.

So why is this? Why don't women identify with feminism?

And what can we do to get women on board? Because if women aren't willing to sign up, men hardly will.

Some reasons could be:

That there are lots of different schools of feminism (lots of feminisms) and it can be hard to see where you fit in. You could agree with most of what one feminist group believe, but not all, and this can be disconcerting and make you question whether or not you are a true feminist.

On a baser level, being a feminist can run the risk of censure. I have been called 'angry' , 'a prude' , 'man hating' etc and this is frustrating. It's hard work being a feminist. Before really getting into feminism I just assumed that intelligent people would think the same way I do, but they really don't.

Then there's the whole 'but I like to wear nail varnish, perfume' etc which a lot of women struggle with.

Is this what you mean, or have I missed the point?

Because feminist = lesbo, man hating, short haird tom boyish, ranting extremeist loon.

the majority (I would say) instantly think of things like bra burning, votes for women, prison and hunger strikes when the word is raised.

All things from the past, equality is far less black and white now days and many do not really see anything to complain about, after all we got the vote now etc.

it's like Terrorists, one mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter.

I am speculating that feminism is fairly pointless if it is fighting for things that women don't want. On most threads I have been on with a feminist element to the topic, the majority of women seem to want the things they already have, and be quite happy with that.

I also agree with Milly.

I think if you talk to women about their core beliefs they would mostly fall under a feminist umberella.
But I think people get a bit ho hum about it because some ofthe people who proclaim them selves feminist are a bit shouty and intolerant.
I have read on here that by being a SAHM I am pretty much the anti-christ and that kind of badgering 'believe everything that we believe or you are wrong' turns people off.

But you get that in a lot of areas tbh

Hmmmm... In my opinion, any woman who does "identify with feminism" must be a bit thick or have absolutely no idea of where she would be now without it. I have zero patience with that attitude (in case that wasn't obvious) and think it's an abdication of responsiblity ie I won't fight for my rights because I know someone else will do it for me.

In short, not being a feminist if you're a woman strikes me as a rather vacuous position. Unless, of course, the woman in question doesn't want any rights.

Totally what I mean GoldenNotebook!

Very true about the different schools. I read some things on here and think "no way can I agree with that" but that goes for most philosophies or political movements. I'd bet most people who support a political party support some aspects of their policies but not others, but that doesn't mean that they would never admit to being a Tory/Labour/Lib Dem in public.

Ryoko, I'd agree with that. Feminists have a very bad image out there, but do wonder why women innocently wandering onto a feminist thread on mumsnet would come to the conclusion that it isn't for them. I've always seen feminism as simply advocating the same political, social and economic rights for women as exist for men. When you take it down to that basic level, I can't help but think what's not to agree with.

MillyR, "feminism is fairly pointless if it is fighting for things that women don't want". That's certainly true, but surely until we have social, political and economic equality, there's plenty worth fighting for. Unless, all women don't want it, and then yes, all the feminists should just go home.

happysmiley, my "brand" of femisism sounds the same as yours - same rights as men, full stop. I would say, though, that even if all women don't want it, I'd still fight for it because I want it.

Think it goes deeper. A lot of people just don't associate with groups -- no such thing as society etc. It's very much a consumer society. People know how to complain, usually towards workers who are paid minimum wage. In other words, people know their 'rights' but stems from a very individualistic position. Not many people are involved with their local communities, don't really know what is happening locally, probably don't know their local councillor, but know the issues at national level, and the leaders.

The other aspect is that there are some women who simply don't like other women.

It's this business about most women not realising what the basic things are that feminists want.

Are you a feminist? Will get a no - for a myriad of reasons - maybe the women will feel she is only a feminist if she is an activist, or that feminists are scary and weird and hate men, or that they have sons and it will be bad for them etc etc.

But say to a woman - Would you like to live in a society where men didn't feel they had the right to touch you randomly or assualt you (for example) - then they're all going to say yes.

I think that feminism has a bit of a problem at the moment in that there is no main thrust - no one obvious thing - no unified message. There probably never was but some of the messages were very clear and got through (the idea of equal wages for equal work, outlawing rape in marriage, that sort of thing).

But I think there is an upsurge in interest in feminism at the moment and i think (hope) the next decade could be very interesting.

I think a lot of women haven't given feminism a second thought TBH so are rather taken by surprise by the question. A bit like if someone suddenly said to me "do you support the idea of the use of refined mixed glazes in the Norfolk home pottery?" I'd just go .... ummm.... and run away.

I think it is impossible to create social equality if a large number of people don't want it for themselves. An example would be the ability of women to autonomously form an authentic sexual identity. To achieve that large numbers of women have to want it, and then society will change so that straight women's sexuality is not defined almost exclusively by their appeal to men. My daughter cannot grow up and form a sexual identity in isolation from what all other women are doing.

So if I come on here and women are saying (to paraphrase) that their sexual identity is defined by being in a heterosexual relationship with a man, or by appealing to their lover by dressing in a lace thong, then I have to accept that. I have to accept that most women do not want to change that aspect of their lives and that I am simply marching to the beat of a different drum. And it is hard to blame men for looking at women as a group in the way that they do when most women are saying that is who they are.

Saw that a lot on the "asking for it" thread... Very depressing.

Ironically, many women don't like feminism because men don't like feminism.

So do the Tories, but I know more of them.

tethers - spot on, as usual. I think that's the thing that makes me despair the most.

dittany I think that stuff doesn't bother some women because a lot of people actually don't give a shit about stuff that's not happening to them personally.

I don't support alot of feminist rantings as I don't like the attitudes towards men.

If most feminists wanted to have equality in truth that would be fine but the vast majority seem to want a complete role reversal whereby men become the 'lesser' gender.

Plus, you know what?...

I like dressing sexily for me and dp... when he's attracted to me i feel more attractive... and vice versa, he dresses nicely for me.

I want to be at home with my children for as long as posssible and do not expect to go back into the workforce for the same pay as a man in an equivalant position who hasn't taken years off to raise babies... and no i wouldn't want dp to stay home with them while i worked... tried it and hated it.

I don't mind a man giving me a compliment on, shock horror, my appearance any more than i would take offense a woman complimenting me on the same.

I think men and women are very differant, both genders have their strengths and flaws... that does not make either gender superior to the other but it also means that we will never be completely equal in every respect.... women will naver sprint in the same race as men, men will never give birth.... ce la vie

Yes there are some unfair inequalities remaining but I do think women who want to succeed seem to have no problem climbing to the top of the career totem pole or making their presence felt in political circles, and that has been true for years already.

All I'm saying is that there are a lot of groups out there that get a bad press, but it doesn't stop people identifying with them, but feminism seems to only appeal to a small minority.