Trans identifying people gaslight their parents - a heartbreaking read.

[Soontobe60]

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This broke my heart to read. The impact a child who chooses to declare themselves the opposite sex has on their mother in particular is brutal. I cannot imagine a world where my children would demand that I change my own history to bow to their indoctrination.

You’re confused @totino. A person who is identifying as someone of the opposite sex is the one who’s pretending. They will spend the rest of their life pretending to be something they can never be. Many detransitioners cite this phenomenon when talking about their trans experience.

So Keira Bell and all the other detransitioners don't exist?

I thought everyone had the right to determine their own identity. Who do you think you are to label someone else as gender nonconforming?

No, I don’t believe it’s any more ‘real’ than the tooth fairy or G-d or Father Christmas.
Just because people like you choose to believe it doesn’t mean you can push those labels on me.
I’m female because of my sex, the rest of it is just ‘me’ - a very real person.

And why do they modify their healthy body?

Where to even start with this nonsense

Men cant become women and, if you saw the outcomes I have seen, young girls certainly cannot even present as the gender stereotypes for men, never mind actually become them. Surgery and hormones are futile sticking plasters for this fact. Whatever gender presentation you choose to engage in, however you see yourself and to what degree, or not, you conform to gender stereotypes, humans are either male or female and I think we can all see now that pretending otherwise is futile. We should be encouraging gender non-conforming kids, gay kids, kids that dont find it easy to find their place, to try amd achieve happiness in their own skin. Which is pretty much the process of puberty and maturing into an adult human male or an adult human female. How you dress, what hobbies you enjoy is personality, or gender conformity/non-conformity, on top.

Pretending you can change your sex is cruel.

There's a small number of people who regret transitioning. If they mistakenly thought they were trans, or were dissuaded from it for other reasons is hard to say, and most detransitioners cite outside pressure or lack of means for their decision to detrans. Not to mention some detransitioners also go back to transitioning later.

"They will spend the rest of their life pretending to be something they can never be."

Incidentally, this is how trans people feel if they don't transition. Trying to fit in with their "birth sex" will always be the pretense.

Parents know the lies told for transgenderism, and thats inconvenient for the person and the movement so 'no contact' is encouraged.

Its difficult to convince a parent of a retconned childhood. And while a parent is around, its hard for the 'trans child' to talk of and maintain these imagined experiences.

Parents have hopes for their children, but in reality they want their children to be safe and happy. There is a lot to suggest that isnt the case in trans community. There is drug use, surgery, paranoia, it attracts lots of predators.

Parents dont stop caring about their children just because they reach adulthood, and by definition, they have more experience of life. The know the difference between mistakes we can learn from and mistakes that can ruin lives.

what an odd distortion of what she said. No, there are only males and females - men and women. ‘Gender’ is all just cultural roles and stereotypes applied to each sex, and individual character. We all conform to or reject, the chains of ‘gender’ to greater or lesser extents.

This still isn’t a satisfactory answer. What is the association between sex and gender? How does recording one’s ‘gender’ under the section marked ‘sex’ avoid practical confusion? It seems to do the opposite.

Are mothers not allowed their own stories now? I know, as a mother, that I grew two children in my body. I knew before they were born that they were both female because of tests I had. Their sex was confirmed when I delivered them, and recorded on their birth certificate. A birth certificate records factual information that never changes. Date + place of birth, sex, name at birth and mother’s name. The only things that could factually be changed is the fathers name if it’s priced that the wrong name was put on it or it was omitted in the first place.
Any other changes are legal lies. Gaslighting at its most disturbing.

I didn't read it as refusing to accept her daughter's transition. The author said she asked questions. I expect she expressed concerns about what her daughter was doing to her healthy body. And as an older adult the mother can see dangers where the young adult just sees affirmation and acceptance. It's so telling that the activists actually encourage people to break away from their families.

And yes, parents have feelings about things and this mother is expressing them in the article. I feel desperately sad for her. I also feel sad for the daughter as she's likely to experience many health problems as a result of transitioning.

Agree.

The point being made was that the adjective cis is redundant, as women are just women. But you knew that.

I could not agree more

How is gender associated to sex? What is the link between them?

The insistence that sex is not gender but is somehow related to it is what causes the confusion.

Why does a woman with a "man" gender identity take testosterone and have her breasts removed? Testosterone is a sex hormone, not a gender hormone. Breasts are secondary sex characteristics, not gender characteristics.

If sex and gender are totally different, why can't a woman with a "man" gender identity have a normal, unchanged female body?

Really? The writer seems as self centred as the child to me. All about her, which I get as its her side of the story, but although I have sympathy for the situation her attitude seems a bit me me me, which is what she accuses her child of. I suppose the nearest thing to it would be divorce, history is often rewritten them and it's painful to revisit memories knowing you feel differently about them now.

I slso found that ironic

As I said upthread I have two children that I birthed. I also have a friend who went through the same thing as the author but her experience was probably worse given her very rigid conservative views. She went thru mental torture for years but not so much over the superficial stuff like name & physical changes or past memories but rather knowing the monumental uphill battle & hardship her son faced by being socially rejected. Her concern was not her own self indulgent trivial preferences but her son's safety & mental health well being.

But she managed to hang onto the relationship while walking the fine line of voicing her concerns & acceptance which has finally produced some semblance of peace. Interestingly, by maintaining the relationship she has managed to still exert some influence in terms of guidance & caution which is a fundamental goal of any self respecting parent.

Don't forget that they're trying to convince everyone they're the opposite sex, because they have a gender identity, but sex and gender are totally different and nothing to do with each other, but sex and gender also have to match.

It's all incoherent nonsense.

most detransitioners cite outside pressure or lack of means for their decision to detrans
Actually, most detransitioners I have listened to, if not all, have cited outside pressures to transition and the quickness of others to push the ideology on them. In some cases - Suzy Green for example, parents ‘transing away’ the gayness in their child. In other cases, supposedly professional medics declaring ‘better a trans child than a dead child’.

Just because someone may be unhappy with their sex doesn’t mean they should be led to believe they can change their sex. Once again, that’s gaslighting. They are being lied to.

I think the research actually says what that poster said.