Healthiest and Unhealthiest relationships in songs?

[BernardBlacksMolluscs]

As I was cleaning the house this morning I was musing on those songs that come on the radio that you've been singing along with for years where you suddenly actually listen to the lyrics and either think 'well you sound very sensible' or 'intervention. NOW'. Any one got any suggestions? The ones I came up with first were

Healthy - Respect by Aretha Franklin. I know it's a cliche, and the guy she's singing about sounds like borderline not a keeper frankly, but I love the line 'I ain't gonna do you wrong, cause I don't want to'. She's all in, but she's still telling him how she expects to be treated

Red buntingtastic - Never Gonna Give You Up - why wouldn't she get a full commitment from any other guy Rick, you gaslighting bastard?

Anyone else fancy whiling away some weekend time thinking up some examples?

(mumsnet's AI suggested a thread title of 'Songs that sound sensible or alarming once you really hear the lyrics' which I kind of love but decided not to go with!)

Am on the fence about Romeo & Juliet by Dire Straits: lots of cliches, and ire by a jilted Romeo, but Juliet comes across as more proactive and having a good time than in most portrayals!

If we’re not sticking to romantic relationships Brothers in Arms is beautiful

Shit: just read the lyrics to Killer Queen and it seems it’s about a prostitute? Never noticed that 😆 So I take back that recommendation!

Ahh!

could be. Because there’s a reference to sailing across the Atlantic in Honeypie (i think), I assumed ‘she’ had gone to America. I wonder where she is then?

On the other hand, there's Joy of Living:

Farewell to you, my love, my time is almost done
Lie in my arms once more until the darkness comes
You filled all my days, held the night at bay, dearest companion
Years pass by and they're gone with the speed of birds in flight
Our lives like the verse of a song heard in the mountains
Give me your hand and love and join your voice with mine
We'll sing of the hurt and the pain and the joy of living

I did wonder about that one! I’m not convinced she’s living a sustainable happy life. She does sound like an interesting person though!

I dont know many of these but

"Check Yes, Juliet" By we the kings

"Love the way you lie" Eminem. But he has many songs dedicated to his fucked up relationship with Kim.

Where the Wild Roses Grow is definitely one for the unhealthy list! Are there any songs where the woman kills the man??

Diana Ross had some awful lines in Upside down :
Respectfully I say to thee Im aware that youre cheating but no one makes me feel like you do .
What ???
Then theres Mrs Jones
Meeting every day at the same cafe !!! What about Mr Jones !
And Whitney "Saving all my love for you "

Her friends try to tell her find a man of her own. Yer right friends and make sure she isnt singing about one of your hubbies - you know how often that happens don't you !

Fair enough, that's all true.

If there's any positive to take from the woman's point of view- she sounds strong and determined, and sees him for what he is and isn't having any more of his emotional, pathetic, drunken 'You're my best friend you are' talk.
She might get out of it alive, he won't.

But they left their homes and families, like millions of others, to build a good life in a new country, he was once handsome, and she was once Queen of New York City, and they've ended up like this - the kind of people you see lying on cardboard in doorways, who all have their own life stories.

That's what stands out to me, emotionally, but I don't disagree with what you say, that's all true too. The unhealthiness of the relationship is undeniable.

Don't Fear the Reaper - questionable..... apparently it's actually about love transcending death, but my God it comes across like a guy trying to entice his girlfriend to kill herself! Like those freaky evil online guys who made a game out of grooming teenage girls to kill themselves.

How about Wichita Lineman for a positive one? A guy doing his job and keeps thinking about his beloved even when he’s worried about the stretch down south and stuff.

And I need you more than want you
And I want you for all time…

Always makes me tear up a little tbh.

I immediately thought of You Don't Have To Say You Love Me.

Girl, get some self respect.

Covered by St Etienne.

I have a list of terrible songs that make me a bad feminist.

Not sharing. 😁

'Stan' by Eminem was awful, but then I think it was supposed to be?

That lyric is just the best ever.

Well you should see Polythene Pam. She's so goodlooking that she looks like a man.

Because of course the best thing a woman can be is a man.

Romeo&Juliet by Dire Straits?
I spent years trying unsuccessfully to be cool enough to hate it, with a toss of the head and an Elvis kind of sneer..
Juliet, when we made love you used to cry
didn't you get the message, dude??🙄

But then there's the heartbreaking:
You promised me everything
You promised me thick and thin,
Now you just say, "Oh Romeo, yeah
You know I used to have a scene with him"
😢💔

I walk the line is a lovely song for fidelity.

Unhealthy but fun - Jackson. At least they both seem to agree they want out.

The famous one is JOhnny Cash and June Carter, but I like the Nancy SInatra and Lee Hazlewood version, it has more sass

Here you come again by Dolly Parton. She knows he's a liar, she knows he's bad news but there she goes.

I once had a row with a bloke about who was the toxic one in Sitting Down Here.

I dare say interpretations differ but I kinda like Dylan's All I Really Want to Do.

I ain't lookin' to compete with you
Beat or cheat or mistreat you
Simplify you, classify you
Deny, defy or crucify you
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you
No, and I ain't lookin' to fight with you
Frighten you or uptighten you
Drag you down or drain you down
Chain you down or bring you down
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you
I ain't lookin' to block you up
Shock or knock or lock you up
Analyze you, categorize you
Finalize you or advertise you
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you
I don't want to straight-face you
Race or chase you, track or trace you
Or disgrace you or displace you
Or define you or confine you
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you
I don't want to meet your kin
Make you spin or do you in
Or select you or dissect you
Or inspect you or reject you
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you
I don't want to fake you out
Take or shake or forsake you out
I ain't lookin' for you to feel like me
See like me or be like me
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

Oh yeah, the first is a stalker to do list.

I think we all do ❤

It's part of Feminism isn't it? We grow up with such unhealthy images and role models and they are always part of us even when we know they are bad for us. And people can make great emotional art out of bad things, and bad people can make such great emotional art.

Fuck me, there's probably an amazing post modern Feminist love-song to be written where the pain and yearning and I-know-you-are-wrong-for-me-but-you-feel-so-right-ing isn't for a man but for those old songs and being able to listen to them without seeing the drakness underneath.

Your Love Keeps Lifting Me - Jackie Wilson

One Day Like This - Elbow

Let's Stay Together - Al Green

Lovely Day - Bill Withers