Healthiest and Unhealthiest relationships in songs?

[BernardBlacksMolluscs]

As I was cleaning the house this morning I was musing on those songs that come on the radio that you've been singing along with for years where you suddenly actually listen to the lyrics and either think 'well you sound very sensible' or 'intervention. NOW'. Any one got any suggestions? The ones I came up with first were

Healthy - Respect by Aretha Franklin. I know it's a cliche, and the guy she's singing about sounds like borderline not a keeper frankly, but I love the line 'I ain't gonna do you wrong, cause I don't want to'. She's all in, but she's still telling him how she expects to be treated

Red buntingtastic - Never Gonna Give You Up - why wouldn't she get a full commitment from any other guy Rick, you gaslighting bastard?

Anyone else fancy whiling away some weekend time thinking up some examples?

(mumsnet's AI suggested a thread title of 'Songs that sound sensible or alarming once you really hear the lyrics' which I kind of love but decided not to go with!)

'I'm going wash that man right out of my hair' very progressive for its time (40s I think?)!

Easier to find the bad ones,

How about - King of the groaners - Elvis Costello, I want you

On the positive side

Van Halen - Why can't this be love?

It really is easier to find the bad ones

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
And I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

Dear God woman, don't marry him! if he's shagging around and fucking off on a jet plane before you're married you just wait until you're dealing with little kids and sleep deprivation

Ruby Tuesday by the Rolling Stones - not noted for their respectful lyrics😠
is unusually accepting of a woman's freedom to live her life the way she wants to.
Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained
To a life where nothing's gained
And nothing's lost..

Also a beautiful song.

Performed ('sung' doesn't come close to describing what she does to the song) by a woman, Melanie Safka, it takes on a different dimension

[yes that's the same Melanie who did 'I got a brand new pair of roller skates'!'

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Verse one was going so well, bit of a turn around in the second

Jealous Guy by John Lennon gives me the creeps, funnily enough I don't have the same ick when it's sung by Bryan Ferry. It's still creepy though

I once made a little playlist of songs called 'I want you'. there's loads, mostly written by men.

Bob Dylan
The Beatles
Savage Garden
Marvin Gaye
Elvis Costello

If ever I feel my blood pressure isn't high enough, I just have to think of Burt Bacharach's 'Wives and Lovers' and be glad it's no longer 1963... 🤬🤮

Hey, little girl
Comb your hair, fix your make-up
Soon he will open the door
Don't think because
There's a ring on your finger
You needn't try any more

For wives should always be lovers, too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
I'm warning you

Day after day
There are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don't send him off
With your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again

For wives should always be lovers, too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
He's almost here

Hey, little girl
Better wear something pretty
Something you'd wear to go to the city
And dim all the lights
Pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love

Oh, time to get ready
Time to get ready
Time to get ready
For love

The antidote to this song is All My Loving.

There must be more songs about bad than good relationships because of the Anna Karenina rule.

yep, beautiful song, bit of a turn up for the books from Mick 'you could make a dead man come' Jagger

thanks (kind of) for the cover version

Jesus H Christ. People still think the 60s was all love & laughter.

One of my favourite songs😍

This is great fun, thank you OP BernardBlacksMolluscs!

OK, here's a speciality one, a showstopper for the still-closeted young dyke I used to be - Doris Day, wearing trousers and a tie, singing
Once I had a secret love..
..Now I shout it from the highest hills
Even told the golden daffodils
At last, my heart's an open door
And my secret love's no secret anymore
💓💓💓

I wanted to react to this but none of the emojis work. there is no world in which i can 'thank', 'agree', 'love' or 'support' this. good heavens

Sad but true. Can't place some on your list, so off for a listen.

I kind of don't object to a straight up 'I want to have sex with you' song as long as there's no creepy gaslighting and no implication of force. at least it's honest!

@IsadoraQuagmire 🤯! The trouble is, Bacharach wrote such great bastarding tunes...

Yes, great thread @BernardBlacksMolluscs !

@MarieDeGournay that's adorable... I'm straight, but Doris was really rather fetching in that film... 😍

Sheena Easton - Morning Train. I love it but always thinks she needs to get a life instead of waiting around for her boyfriend to come home every day!

I've always thought that Different Drum (sung with an outstanding vocal by Linda Ronstadt) feels different when you know it was written by a man (Mike Nesmith of the Monkees, fact fans)

So, don't get me wrong, it's not that I knock it
It's just that I am not in the market
For a boy who wants to love only me
Yes, and I ain't sayin' you ain't pretty
All I'm saying's I'm not ready for any person
Place or thing to try and pull the reins in on me

I guess at least he's being honest, but likely after they've shagged I'd guess

yes, it just sounds so boring doesn't it? If you don't want a job, at least get a hobby. including commute time your baby must be gone for a minimum of 9 hours Sheena. there's only so clean a house can get. why not take up spot welding, or macrame?

I was thinking about Meatloaf too when trying to think of positive relationships. I know this one has been released by others too (including Celine Dione) but I like the duet he did with Marion Ravn which is makes it seem to be all about a middle-aged couple agreeing to try again after a bad patch, which the solo versions don't do.

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, baby, baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind, but it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see, all coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies, all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me now

... but it's not clarified in the lyrics quite how bad the bad patch was, and was he an abusive wanker, so not sure its all positive.

But it's on the same album as "What about love" which makes me feel it's the same context

We've been lost in a sea of confusion
Got caught up in a selfish illusion
But make no mistake: I will bend till I break
Don't let fate make the choice for us

What about love that lasts forever?
What about time to see it through?
If you don't give you just don't get it
What about me?
What about you?
What about love?

I can't go on another day
Comin' home and seeing you cryin'
Can't stand another night
Of telling you I'm fine when I'm dying

Forever means nothing
To live without you
Is reaching for something that never comes through
Together is heaven
Apart we're in hell
The time for forgiveness is now

Ohh, once in a lifetime you'll find
Someone to share your dreams
For a lifetime
Our love will always set us free
Forever we'll believe...

Oh wow yes! I love love love that song, and a woman singing it makes it very different,. Thanks for the reminder.
You are doing a great job this morning, BBM, you have us all humming and reminiscing and fuming and looking misty-eyed and having a great time😃

I once tried to do a comedy routine based on Elvis singing Always On My Mind.

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
(oh, right?)
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
(what, you withheld physical affection?)
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
(what little things? Let me guess - the washing-up? Hoovering? Laundry? Cooking?)

And maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
(Elvis, you're a proper cold asshole, aren't you?)
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
(why the fuck not??)
If I made you feel second-best
(Mate, there's no "if" about it)
Girl, I'm sorry I was blind
(bit fuckin' late now, innit?)

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
(oh well THAT'S alright then! Thank fuck for that. You're an emotionally inadequate fuckwit who does sod all around the house, you let your missus go unhugged, unloved, and you couldn't even open your gob to say sorry all that time. But it's ok - because she was ON YOUR MIND.)

It went down like a cup of cold sick. People love that song. It doesn't matter all the stuff he's done/not done. It's a man saying sorry, and that's enough, apparently.

Rod Stewart -
https://share.google/CQDRyxaHbBchtaX7W

The masochistic relationship in The Velvet Underground's "Venus in Furs" makes for uneasy listening (unless your tastes happen to run in that direction, I suppose) -

Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather
Shiny leather in the dark
Tongue of thongs, the belt that does await you
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart

Severin, Severin, speak so slightly
Severin, down on your bended knee
Taste the whip, in love not given lightly
Taste the whip, now bleed for me

And of course, we have the always-provocative "Under My Thumb" by the Rolling Stones. Is Mick Jagger really just being satirical, or is it just horribly misogynistic?

Under my thumb
Is a squirming dog who's just had her day
Under my thumb
A girl who has just changed her ways

It's down to me, yes it is
The way she does just what she's told, down to me
The change has come, she's under my thumb
Ah, ah, say, "it's alright"