Healthiest and Unhealthiest relationships in songs?

[BernardBlacksMolluscs]

As I was cleaning the house this morning I was musing on those songs that come on the radio that you've been singing along with for years where you suddenly actually listen to the lyrics and either think 'well you sound very sensible' or 'intervention. NOW'. Any one got any suggestions? The ones I came up with first were

Healthy - Respect by Aretha Franklin. I know it's a cliche, and the guy she's singing about sounds like borderline not a keeper frankly, but I love the line 'I ain't gonna do you wrong, cause I don't want to'. She's all in, but she's still telling him how she expects to be treated

Red buntingtastic - Never Gonna Give You Up - why wouldn't she get a full commitment from any other guy Rick, you gaslighting bastard?

Anyone else fancy whiling away some weekend time thinking up some examples?

(mumsnet's AI suggested a thread title of 'Songs that sound sensible or alarming once you really hear the lyrics' which I kind of love but decided not to go with!)

Another vote for Elvis Costello 'I Want You', although I love it and know it is deliberately psychocreepy.

@MarieDeGournay thank you for your great analysis of 'She Loves You'. I don't think I'd ever properly understood what it's about before, although it came out when I was a baby and my very first words were a sung " Yeah Yeah Yeah"!

I have a real problem with Billy Joel’s song “I like you just the way you are”. I know it’s supposed to be sweet, but the idea if any man telling me not to change, keep my hair the same, and as for not wanting clever conversation…. Ugh shudder! Sounds like I’ll dump you if you get old.

Oh dear, you didn't read the room, did you Gizzasec?😟

This is typical about how songs affect us, it's irrational, isn't it: I can see all the points you made, they are all very valid and relevant....but ... that song..💔

I think it makes me emotional when I hear it because it makes me think of how I wasn't the right person for my ex-es, I didn't say or do little things I could have done so I feel regretful and retrospectively apologetic to them when I hear that song.

jeez louise. the song lyrics referenced in that article are mad. I mean I don't listen to Rod Stewart because I mainly thinks his music sucks, but I'll be not listening to him twice as hard now

someone pointed out on Radcliffe & Maconie that the Pet Shop boys cover is amazing because Neil Tenants voice makes it sound completely insincere!

yes, and written for the woman he left to marry Christie Brinkley I believe.

Pink Martini have a lovely pair of songs "And now I'm back" "And then you're gone" where a sleazy guy tries to sneak back and gets told where to go in true relationships board style.

Talking of The Beatles, "Run for your life" is lyrically dubious:

You'd better run for your life if you can, little girl,
Hide your head in the sand, little girl,
Catch you with another man,
That's the end, little girl.

Let this be a sermon,
I mean everything I said,
Baby, I'm determined
And I'd rather see you dead

(Thanks, John!)

On the positive side, how could I forget the lovely Proclaimers (props for introducing me to 'haver' too)

When I'm workin', yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's workin' hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home (When I come home), oh, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growin' old with you

awww

and in the negative column I give you Mr Nuno Bettencourt

There's a hole in my heart
That can only be filled by you
Should have known from the start
I'd fall short with the things I do

I mean, if you're sad Nuno, I can only suggest that in your next relationship you make the effort not to fall short with the things you do before she gets fed up enough to dump you

oh my god, this is great. what a performance!

Peter Sarstedt “where do you go to (my lovely)”. My god that’s a creepy song: you had a terrible start in life but now you’re all fancy, I’m the only one who understands you and don’t think you can get away. Awful!

Not that it really makes the difference considering the background of the song but Carole King wrote the music for Goffin & King and it was Gerry Goffin who was the lyricist.

Words by Hal David. Don't just blame Burt!

Hard to find the healthy ones!

I used to love "Edge of the world" by Faith no more when I was a teenager. Heard it the other day and it's CREEPY. In fact, it's so creepy I assume it's on purpose. But it went completely over my head at the time.

Come here, my love
I'll tell you a secret
Come closer, now
I want you to believe it

I'll tell you all the things
You want to hear
Don't worry, baby
There's nothing to fear

Hey, little girl
Would you like some candy?

Look into my eyes
I've seen it all
Hand in hand
Together we fall

We'll sing and dance
And we'll find romance
And we'll stroll to the edge of the world

Come sit right down
Lay your head on my shoulder
It's not the point
That I'm forty years older

You can trust me
I'm no criminal
But I'd kill my mother
To be with you

We'll sing and dance
And we'll find romance
And we'll stroll to the edge of the world

Give me a smile
Let me see those pearlies
I'll do anything
For the little girlies

‘I’m sitting g down here but you can’t see me’- sang by so many kids in the 00s😅😅😅

I had to explain to my family why Baby it’s cold outside was disturbing. They assumed I was reading into things😅

yes!!

wow

It makes a big difference when you realise that the lyrics for the wonderful
'You make me feel like a natural woman' were written by... A Bloke🙄
But fair play to ya, Gerry, you captured something.

I'm not sure if it's health or unhealthy - what exactly is 'feeling like a natural woman' and why does it have to involve someone else?
But it's a brilliant song anyways.

Going down the 'speciality' route again, the lines
I didn't know what was wrong with me/till your kiss helped me name it
made this the theme tune to a number of coming out stories..😍

Positive ones include:
Protection - Massive Attack & Tracey Thorne
Glory Box - Portishead

Killer Queen - Queen!

I hear FToNY more like a guy who dragged a woman down with him. It makes me cry, but for her.

"I could have been someone",
well, so could anyone
You took my dreams from me when I first found you
I kept them with me, babe, I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone, I've built my dreams around you

I find it chilling, like he doesn't see her as a separate person with a right to her own her own dreams. He took them for himself because he needed them.

It may not have been written with that dynamic consciously in mind, but that doesn't mean it's not there. So many romantic tropes normalise male obsessions wth owning and controlling "their" woman, or with her basically being the helpmeet/servant to his story.

you people are the reason I haven't changed the bed linen. Just sayin'

I always thought the Manchester Rambler raised red flags

I once loved a maid, a spot welder by trade
She was fair as the rowan in bloom
And the bloom of her eye matched the blue moorland sky
I wooed her from April to June
(3 month courtship to marriage? love bombing)

On the day that we should have been married
I went for a ramble instead
For sooner than part from the mountains
I think I would rather be dead
(Ewan, you could have rambled together, surely? no need to leave her at the altar. or she could have spot welded while you rambled. there were other solutions man)

On the positive note I nominate Cool by Gwen Stefani - the healthiest break up song in the history of pop music.

Also, Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur is just a really relatable happy relationship song.

Alanis Morissette does a good line in red flags.

She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5 makes me a bit uneasy. It's ostensibly romantic, but it borders on being a big creepy somehow.

I really like Carole King (Tapestry is such a brilliant album) and my mind was genuinely boggled by the fact that it was Gerry Goffin not her who was the lyricist of all those marvellous songs such as one of my favourites, "Goin' Back".

Nobody's gone to America. He's cursing Sir Walter Raleigh because he brought tobacco back to England, ultimately leading to Lennon smoking