16 year old girl dies of strangulation during sex

[Mommydearest40]

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/aug/27/a-16-year-old-girl-has-died-from-suspected-sexual-choking-how-do-we-come-to-terms-with-this-ntwnfb

In Australia. Supposedly consensual but then how would anyone know? The author is a bit ‘right on’ / pick me cool girl, saying ‘we don’t want to be pearl clutching about porn’ right after describing how violence against women is normalised in 35-45% of it.

Whatever the actual motivation in this truly appalling case the rough sex gone wrong excuse is definitely a huge danger, even if it was actually the case you still do have to wonder why this idea that this is what sex involves has taken hold and the only conclusion I can come to is the type of porn and the sheer availability and normalisation of it.

In the days I used porn it certainly wasn't violent, and yes I am not denying it was still harmful in that it objected women, but what is now being seen as mainstream to many young boys, and unfortunately also young girls, is not just socially harmful but absolutely physically dangerous.

You don't have to be the parent of daughters to worry about this but my goodness being so does intensify the feelings.

I can't see an easy answer, but I am sure that what answer there is surely has to not only equip young women in how to protect themselves but also educate young boys that this is beyond just bad behaviour.

Jesus, where’s the rage ? What a pathetic piece of commentary.

Afaik in the UK now the perpetrator cannot claim strangling resulting in death was part of consensual sex - it's not a defence.

I’m in my forties and all my friends feels the same as you (though worry about our daughters entering f this world) but my friends in their early thirties say choking is just a part of regular sex now, everyone expects it and you can refuse it but if you don’t explicitly ask for them to refrain then men will randomly do it. The normalisation of all this in the space of less than a decade is absolutely shocking.

Good for them. Speaking to DB the other day (related matter) and he says his son has withdrawn his DC from sex ed (sexuality and relationship ed) because they are teaching gender woo and also that what most would consider kinks and dangerous are normal sex. So it's not just porn DC are getting this message from. School sex ed needs looking at.

Agree. I was shocked that the stroke happened days after the strangulation and not during the act. Its frightening that this is being normalized.

It's awful how many porn videos these days contain some form of violence, be it strangulation, slapping or hair pulling. Always male on female violence too (unless S&M). It's getting too normalised. I've seen shows such as Love Island where the guy sometimes has his hand on the woman's throat when kissing her. We definitely all need to educate our young people that this is not normal, and they don't have to accept it as part of a sexual relationship.

Men don't need an excuse to hurt women do they.

Yes, definitely being normalized. See attached image..shocking..

Yes, there is an answer / reason for this, but I can’t remember what it is.

The practice in porn referred to as choking, is strangulation.

I can’t remember why they call it choking. They obviously just prefer it for some reason, perhaps strangulation is too medicalised for them.

You’ve got the argument ‘might not be as violent as you think’ arse about face.
People need educating that even a ‘little pressure on the throat’ can cause serious damage so therefore it is an extreme form of violence. It’s analagous to stabbing someone - a knife wound may be trivial or fatal, so we all know it’s never ok to stab someone.
Whatever the hell else ‘rough play’ may be, you need to keep your hands off each other’s necks.

This has to be addressed urgently and directly in schools. I’m horrified that any young men think this is ok. Forty years ago it was like American Pie -lads tried to get you to orgasm. Some of them put a lot of effort in …

Now they’re shown how to hurt women. I cannot imagine how awful it must be to have sex which is basically all about pain.

About 13 years ago,I met a bloke who loved to strangle me during sex-i really thought I was going to die,he'd take me to 'that' point and then let go

(context,he was 6'4 and about 20 stone,I am 5'7 and was a size 14-he was a lot bigger than I was)

I'd tell him not to but he ignored me and kept at it as 'it turns me on'

We broke up after a few weeks and I messaged him saying 'i didn't want to be strangled-i did not consent to that act'

I got back 'fuck off,you enjoyed it!'

If I'd been strangled to death,it would have been put down to 'sex act gone wrong' and he would have got away with killing me-my real name would always be linked to 'kinky sex'

I did go to the police but they didn't care-basically told me to go away and stop wasting their time (so he got away with assault too and is still out there,in the wild,wanking away to violent porn and strangling real women)

Something has to change-make men too frightened to strangle women rather than it being seen as a kink and totally harmless-it's not

How many more women have to die?

And young girls and women shouldn't be expected to facilitate it.
Boys and men shouldn't expect it and act it out.
Sex shouldn't be about pain,depredation,possible death.

This ^ ++++

😮

Infuriates me about the normalisation and how it comes from fucking male screen writers, producers, directors thinking it’s edgy and reflects their own shit.

I was infuriated watching We're the Millers. First because it was abysmally bad. Second because of the scene where Jennifer Anniston is giving Will Poulter kissing lessons but incredibly includes her then telling him to put his hands around her throat. As if that’s nothing. As if that’s an everyday way to kiss someone. Yet this stupid film marketed as a comedy was a box office success and nominated for four People's Choice Awards, and six MTV Movie Awards, winning two.

Then there was the scene in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, with the character Yondu zipping up his trouser whilst a female android turns herself off. Obvious what’s just happened. This, in one of the most popular teenage MCU series subtly and subliminally sending out the message that men can see/use women as if they’re not even human. A completely unnecessary scene seen by hundreds of thousands of teenagers.

But if that is what anyone is looking at, or even stumbles on, I have no idea how anyone erases it from their memory.

And this ^ I’m so sorry that you experienced this. Once I blithely read a report about a murder case that I thought wouldn’t affect me but I’ve never forgotten the horrific details. That was just from reading about the case. I hate how our children are so exposed to the most graphic sexual violence as if it’s nothing. Purely to make a profit. For some terrible person’s fetish. It’s wrong.

Oh grotty bastards.

In my opinion men see porn from such a young age now that they become desensitised to it and need more and more extreme stuff to turn them on. Back when I was a young boys thought the underwear section of their mums Freemans catalogue was racy enough. And if you look at copies of the likes of Playboy from those times it was all rather innocent. Men back then wanted to give the woman pleasure. I’m not saying they were all perfect but like a PP I’ve been married 25 years now, but had a sex life before that. Choking never came up in regular sex, it might have done in certain groups but not ‘vanilla’ relationships.

Should be illegal

what in earth does strangulation have to do with sex

bastard! The poor girls parents must be devastated

Can confirm this is explicitly in the RSHE curriculum from this year.

I’m quite happy to shame this kink.

I’ve drummed into my kids (boys and girls) that choking is attempted murder and it’s not a fucking game that should be played.

I also pointed out to them that it’s an utterly selfish thing to ask of a partner. If you ask to choke them you’re asking them to risk dying for your fun, and if you ask them to choke you you’re asking them to risk life in prison and your death on their conscious. whoever asks for this has no care for their partners life.

I’m so glad my younger kids will be hitting high school/mobile phone age a few years after this new phones at school ban comes into place. Two of my four older children, both girls, saw porn for the first time on the school bus. One I knew about at the time (because she came home queasy and asking if “that” always happened in sex. “That” in this case was face fucking leading to cum over the face) and one I only found out about 2/3 years later as she said nothing.

I think it was in New Zealand that this happened

Ok, so perhaps vigorous would have been a better choice of words than violent in what I was trying to say.

Is that ok? Are my arse and face in the right directions now?

Agree

This.