16 year old girl dies of strangulation during sex

[Mommydearest40]

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/aug/27/a-16-year-old-girl-has-died-from-suspected-sexual-choking-how-do-we-come-to-terms-with-this-ntwnfb

In Australia. Supposedly consensual but then how would anyone know? The author is a bit ‘right on’ / pick me cool girl, saying ‘we don’t want to be pearl clutching about porn’ right after describing how violence against women is normalised in 35-45% of it.

Totally agree.

What and whom does this prettifying and distancing language protect? And why?

Precisely. My first thought is that she's been raped and murdered.

The headline asks how we come to terms with it.

We don't.

There is an argument that you can’t consent to strangulation because the organ you need to be able to consent, the brain, is being starved of oxygen. Therefore you lose capacity to consent. This is also why safe words etc don’t work because you need to be able to use your brain to do this

Its murder.

Nobody can consent to being strangled to death.

Do you know how difficult it is to strangle someone to death? The prolonged amount of time iy would take. applying an intense amount of pressure to kill someone?

This is not a 'slightly sexy single hand on the throat' situation.

This is murder. And I would be adding rape to the charges as I am sure that as soon as he was strangling her to the point of her starting to lose consciousness she was mentally and physically withdrawing her consent!!

I haven’t read it because it’s really triggering for me.

I knew a wonderful woman that was killed by her ex-husband. He claimed it was an accidental death during sex (choking). But she had a partner and would not have had sex with her ex who she was afraid of. He was eventually convicted of murder.

This trend will just make it easier for scumbags to get their way and claim it was all an accident. So I hope it always gets punished as it should so no woman’s murder falls through the cracks.

I genuinely don’t understand this. Are we actually saying that women want to be strangled to get a high during sex? And that this includes 16 year olds? I know there’s a subset of BDSM but how the hell is this even getting headspace amongst police and prosecutors.

How do we come to terms with this? Imagine the mother reading that. Imagine!!!

It’s important to be wary of clutching our pearls about porn here -
Nice choice of idiom there (putting a hand to one's throat), considering the subject matter 🙄
Also: Is it? Is it important to be wary of pearl-clutching?

Also: Often mistakenly referred to as choking. WTF?!! My bad. My hands are around your throat. Oh, but it's not that kind of choking.

Also: Girls thinking this is what boys want. Do they? Do they really?!

I can't actually believe a woman wrote this tbh. Really disappointing.

Or is it men want to strangle women during sex kill them and women are consenting to make them happy and then accidentally deliberately being killed?

What’s with this dissembling and couching bs about ‘choking’?

If a person was strangled to death by someone, it was murder.

And, I would hope anyone who murders someone by strangling them to death would get life in prison,. and never gets a chance to murder another girl or woman again in his entire life.

I think younger women say they do to look cool. I'm a member of a female only car club. A fair few of our younger members have bumper stickers with slogans such as 'If you're going to fuck me from behind, at least pull my hair and choke me'.

Yes, really. 😱

Unfortunately society has allowed many of the "don't kink shame" porn addicts to influence sex ed in schools. Not all schools obviously but there have been countless incidents of age inappropriate porn soaked sex ed materials produced for schoolchildren by queer theory groups and others - all amplified by children's unsupervised access to social media.

After endless complaints from parents and responsible teachers this has finally been rolled back with the new DfE guidelines prioritising safeguarding and being much more responsible. Sadly it's too late for some young people who've been groomed into believing that "breathplay" is a harmless activity with young women being gaslit into accepting whatever brutal pornified behaviour is demanded of them.

Oh and we can expect the arrival of a few posters who like to appear and accuse women of pearl clutching when we speak about the negative impacts of porn on the young, so be prepared.

How do we know consent was given to be choked?! Also there is a big difference between role play and murder. Murder is murder, it cannot be explained away by “consent” simple as.

😱🤮 that’s so disgusting, really shouldn’t be there for all and sundry to read. I guess maybe it ‘looks cool’ versus the reality of fear as some bloke chokes the life out of you.
if I asked dh to choke me he’d be horrified. I feel like the world’s going a bit mad.

I’m comfortable in my dislike of porn and conviction that it’s not a positive for women, so happy to clutch pearls here.

I'm sorry but this is another bi-product of the dangerous LGBTQIA+++ agenda (look at the kind of sex books that are pushed in libraries in the teen section now)
The movement of ending 'kink shaming' and the normalisation and glorification of sex work, OF and porn to the younger generations.

Of bloody course she didn't consent to being strangled to death. But she may have consented to rough play, which can easily get out of hand. Also, as Coronation Street is currently showing, severe damage can be done with little pressure on the throat, so it might not be as violent as you assume.

It's a very sad situation, but you cannot automatically assume it's murder, because our children are being influenced all over the place online with cutesy "choke me Daddy" memes, and books written about violent sex (50 Shades, anyone?), and are being made to think it's ok. Not only ok, but sensual, and loving! It's no wonder some of them choose to try it. And it's horrific when it goes wrong!

No.

Just no. If a man(boy) doesn't know that proglonged pressure to the neck of a woman who is fighting (her fighting reflexes would have kicked in) then passes out , can kill her then he shouldnt be having sex.

If they were stood in the kitchen and he did thatbitbwould clearly be murder.

Just because he is having sex with her doesn't mean that all common sense and morality goea out of the window.

Absolutely horrific, that poor girl and her family.

From the linked research

For some people, strangulation is a high-risk but acceptable part of consensual sex, and it is important not to stigmatise people who use it.

im happy to stigmatise people that do this, maybe we could better educate them not to be so bloody stupid .

I can assume murder because she was murdered. He killed her, and anyone who strangles someone to death should be tried for murder, regardless of the circumstances. Calling it rough sex gone too far minimises it in my opinion.

That really is the kind of piss-poor article to be expected when the "don't do anything to upset the menz" 'feminists' are given a platform.

Absolutely. The ‘rough sex defence’ is just offensive.

I am nearly 60 and a good school friend of mine died the same way Michael Hutchence did. That act only involved him. He was a beautiful boy, so much to live for. He was at a great Uni, he was so gorgeous, and funny. His poor parents had to see the story splashed around. Four decades ago it was very, very shocking and unusual.
This article mentions ethical porn. I am not sure how you define it but I’m sure there is more money to be made in unethical porn - trafficked girls and young men, drugs, violence, used up and spat out and replaced.
The article says we shouldn’t shame anyone for sexual preferences. But where is the line between a preference and other humans being caused real physical and emotional pain?
It is a grey area and one I’m glad I’ve never been near, and I’m no prude.
I dread to think what young people have seen.
Someone sent me a link once - a male who said it was a joke - I had no idea what it was until I clicked on it. By the time I managed to get the hell out of it, even in five or six seconds, I saw something so, so disturbing it has never left me. It did not involve children.
I would not distress anyone by describing it here.
But if that is what anyone is looking at, or even stumbles on, I have no idea how anyone erases it from their memory.

The rough sex argument has been used too many times by men getting away with murdering women and men (a lot of gay killers have used this excuse too).

Whilst there is no need for choking in porn. We're already half-believing the excuse of "I just watched it in porn". It may have been premeditated.