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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, in which we wait excitedly for the next instalment of Gosie's adventures. Gosie, Glass and the Gerbils' Dilemma.

357 replies

AsWithGlad · 10/08/2026 14:37

Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5559589-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-in-which-gosie-returns-to-the-trail?page=1

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the best (perhaps only) online women's pub. Nothing in the food or drink can harm you, everything is served by a very enthusiastic crew of gerbils, and any curious menfolk are welcome at the Staunch Ally down the road.

OP posts:
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52
ChristmasStars · 10/08/2026 23:22

MyrtleLion · 10/08/2026 20:52

15. The Paperwork

In which the contracts arrive...

Griffin, Graphic and Gimbal came through the door together, and it took less than the time it took Gossamer to look up from the bar for the room to understand that something had happened.

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” said Gantry, with the enthusiasm of someone who suspected the answer would be good value.

“Wicken Fen,” said Griffin. “Fenella Burnish’s workshop.”

This produced the kind of silence that meant several conversations stopped at once.

The Fenella Burnish?” said Girdle.

“There’s only the one,” said Griffin.

“She’s offered us jobs,” said Gimbal, before Griffin could arrange the story into whatever order she’d intended for it. “All three of us. Starting in a week.”

Girdle sat down rather suddenly on the nearest stool, as though the news required a lower centre of gravity to be properly absorbed. @AngleofRepose looked up from her journals with the particular stillness of someone recalculating whether the room was worth returning her attention to.

“Jobs,” said Girdle. “What sort of jobs?”

“Glasswork,” said Griffin. “Records. And whatever it is Gimbal does that makes things special.”

“WHAT DOES GIMBAL DO?” said Gantry.

“I don’t know yet,” said Gimbal. “Fenella Burnish didn’t either. She said she’d work out what to call it.”

Graphic said nothing at all. She had gone to her usual place by the window and stood there, still wearing her coat, which everyone present understood to mean considerably more than if she’d spoken.

“So you’re leaving?” said Girdle.

“We’re not leaving,” said Griffin. “We’d still live here. We’d just be paid somewhere else.”

“Paid,” said Girdle, and stopped, in the manner of someone who had walked into a low doorway she’d known was there.

Before this could go any further, Gasket came through from the back with an envelope held flat on both paws, the way she might have carried something warm from the oven.

“This came for you three,” she said. “By hand. There wasn’t anybody at the door when I answered it.”

The envelope itself drew a small crowd before it had even been opened, the same upright, evenly spaced hand as before, but the paper beneath it was heavier, cream rather than white, and the flap had been sealed with a disc of violet wax pressed with what looked, on close inspection, like the mark of a glazier’s pliers.

“Well,” said @ChristmasStars, taking the envelope and turning it over once, “that’s definitely Fenella Burnish’s mark.”

She broke the seal carefully, drew out three sheets, and held them up to the window before she read a word, the way she’d held Fenella’s letters up before. Each sheet carried a small, worked border along one edge, a repeating pattern of leaded panes in three shades of ink, and beneath it, in the same careful hand, Terms of Employment.

“She’s decorated a contract,” said Girdle, faintly.

“She decorates everything,” said Griffin. “She probably can’t help it.”

Christmas Stars sat down properly and began to read aloud.

“Remuneration. Sunflower seeds, twenty per week, payable every Friday.”

“Twenty,” said Girdle.

“Twenty,” confirmed Christmas Stars.

“Is that twenty total? For all of them?” asked Girdle.

Christmas Stars checked. “It says per employee.”

“TWENTY SEEDS EACH!” said Gantry, from the direction of the fireplace, with the tone of someone who had just heard extremely good news about somebody else’s life. “THAT’S NEARLY A SMALL JAR.”

“It’s not nearly a small jar,” said Girdle, and something in the way she said it made Gantry go quiet.

“Hours,” Christmas Stars went on. “Nine until five, six days, one day designated rest, to be agreed in advance and not substituted without notice.”

“Which day?” said Girdle.

“It doesn’t say.”

“Somebody has to say.”

“It says to be agreed. I expect that means by Fenella Burnish,” said Christmas Stars.

Gasket asked, “Are there breaks?”

“There are breaks,” Christmas Stars confirmed. “Fifteen minutes in the morning and afternoon and thirty minutes at one o’clock for food.” She paused over the next line. “Not to be taken at the bench.”

“WHY NOT AT THE BENCH?” asked Gantry.

“Because she works with glass,” said Gasket, “and old glass and buttered toast have never mixed well.”

“Holiday,” Christmas Stars read. “Ten days a year, outside restoration season, of which none is currently stated, and one further day for a birthday, provided seven days’ notice of when the birthday falls.”

“Restoration season is the winter,” said Grisaille. “November to February. Christmas and Easter mostly.”

“Wouldn’t that be inconvenient?” asked Geometry. “For the services.”

"They manage," said Grisaille.

Christmas Stars folded the contracts along their existing creases and passed one to each of them, Griffin, then Gimbal, then Graphic last, who took hers without moving from the window.

“When is Graphic’s birthday?” said Girdle, looking round.

Nobody knew. Nobody had ever known. This settled over the room for a moment the way a fact does when nobody had previously thought to mind it and everybody suddenly did.

“IS IT TODAY?” asked Gantry.

“It is almost certainly not today,” said Angle.

“HOW DO YOU KNOW IT’S NOT TODAY?”

“Because nobody’s ever needed to know,” said Angle, not looking up. “Any gerbil who wants a birthday only has to mention it, and we celebrate it. Immediately.”

Graphic, still by the window, still in her coat, gave no indication either way.
Griffin looked down at the sheet still in her own hand, read the birthday clause again, and did not fold it away this time.

Gasket had got as far as reaching for the good teapot, the one kept for occasions and stopped with her paw an inch from the handle. She stood there a moment, looking at it as though it had changed while her back was turned, then took the ordinary one instead and said nothing about why.

Girdle, who had been about to start counting the days until Friday out loud, the way she counted most things she was pleased about, found she had stopped wanting to say the number and put her paw back in her lap.

Gantry, who had not gone quiet twice running in living memory, went quiet a second time, and stayed that way rather longer than the previous time.

Further down the bar, two gerbils who had been restocking the shelves put down what they were carrying and did not immediately pick anything else up. Nobody had told them to stop.

Angle turned a page of the atlas, though nobody had seen her read anything on it for some minutes, and said, without particular emphasis, to nobody in particular, “The bar’s gone quiet.”

“You’re right,” said Christmas Stars, looking around. “And there don’t seem to be as many gerbils on duty as usual.”

“And they’re sad, I think,” Angle said, and she had stopped turning pages altogether now and looked around the room instead. “It’s very peculiar.”

@EdithStourton said simply, “It seems Griffin, Graphic, and Gimbal’s job offers have deeply unsettled the gerbils.”

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/15-the-paperwork

Edited

Blimey! I think the gerbils get a better deal in the BS personally. I think they're just in awe of FB.

WearyAuldWumman · 10/08/2026 23:23

@EdithStourton Yes, but they'll happily pretend to have periods, provided they just have to mimic being in pain.

I'm trying to think whether I've ever seen a TIM pretending to have hot flushes.

AsWithGlad · 10/08/2026 23:24

MyrtleLion · 10/08/2026 23:19

Fenella has an apprentice hamster. Who has a clipboard.

What role is she apprenticed to?

OP posts:
MyrtleLion · 10/08/2026 23:26

AsWithGlad · 10/08/2026 23:24

What role is she apprenticed to?

All the information is in the chapters already published.

WearyAuldWumman · 10/08/2026 23:27

Anyway, my sympathy to those going through perimenopause. It was absolute hell, I remember, trying to cope whilst working.

I was on the point of begging for an ablation when the HRT finally seemed to help sort things out.

MyrtleLion · 10/08/2026 23:31

WearyAuldWumman · 10/08/2026 23:27

Anyway, my sympathy to those going through perimenopause. It was absolute hell, I remember, trying to cope whilst working.

I was on the point of begging for an ablation when the HRT finally seemed to help sort things out.

I had an ablation, for which I was grateful. But it was two minutes of agony, no anaeathetic just gas and air which made my head swim and didn't do anything for the pain. I didn't like the sensation of being dizzy and my brain wasn't my own.

The doctor said she was impressed at the fact that I stood the pain because I hadn't had children.

Epidural or GA should be offered, but hey, it's only women's pain.

Hedgehogforshort · 10/08/2026 23:56

I have just lambasted a person who i used to be a political and personal friend of on face book.

she posted lots of pictures at London pride.

i asked her if she thought men could be women, she avoided that question.

Some people are just twats.

WearyAuldWumman · 11/08/2026 00:34

MyrtleLion · 10/08/2026 23:31

I had an ablation, for which I was grateful. But it was two minutes of agony, no anaeathetic just gas and air which made my head swim and didn't do anything for the pain. I didn't like the sensation of being dizzy and my brain wasn't my own.

The doctor said she was impressed at the fact that I stood the pain because I hadn't had children.

Epidural or GA should be offered, but hey, it's only women's pain.

Yup.

The worst I ever had was when a male doctor did a scan and attempted to remove polyps with no pain relief at all - hadn't even been warned to take paracetamol.

Afterwards, there was a puddle of blood on the floor. I was given time to clean myself up and the nurse came back in.

I'd heard another nurse in the corridor saying "Is she all right?"

My nurse told me "I've been discussing this with a colleague and we don't think it's right..."

I was then referred for a D&C under GA.

ETA To clarify, I thought I was only going for a scan of some kind.

AsWithGlad · 11/08/2026 04:06

MyrtleLion · 10/08/2026 23:26

All the information is in the chapters already published.

But it doesn’t really say. (Episodes 5 and 12)

Unless she’s not really a hamster, just an apprentice hamster, in the same way as an apprentice carpenter is learning how to be a carpenter but isn’t one yet.

Is a harried hamster apprentice necessarily a hamster, or might they be a harrier dog/bird/aircraft?

OP posts:
ChristmasStars · 11/08/2026 06:29

WearyAuldWumman · 11/08/2026 00:34

Yup.

The worst I ever had was when a male doctor did a scan and attempted to remove polyps with no pain relief at all - hadn't even been warned to take paracetamol.

Afterwards, there was a puddle of blood on the floor. I was given time to clean myself up and the nurse came back in.

I'd heard another nurse in the corridor saying "Is she all right?"

My nurse told me "I've been discussing this with a colleague and we don't think it's right..."

I was then referred for a D&C under GA.

ETA To clarify, I thought I was only going for a scan of some kind.

Edited

Oh my goodness I had something similar with a female Dr. Thought I was going in for a scan and came out minus a polyp and plus a coil. I felt like I had no say in any of it, bled a lot and could barely walk back to the car park afterwards as I was so shaky and emotional. I just can't imagine an equivalent happening in men's health.

DauntlessDamson · 11/08/2026 06:56

I wonder what Fenella will think of the gerbils being unionised? 🤔

Perhaps they need to talk to Gaffer, the shop steward about the contract.

EmpressaurusKitty · 11/08/2026 07:27

DauntlessDamson · 11/08/2026 06:56

I wonder what Fenella will think of the gerbils being unionised? 🤔

Perhaps they need to talk to Gaffer, the shop steward about the contract.

She might worry about them influencing the hamster.

FuzzyPuffling · 11/08/2026 07:41

There's no gerbils because that bloody pompous bird has poached them all.

Never mind...sorted it.

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, in which we wait excitedly for the next instalment of Gosie's adventures. Gosie, Glass and the Gerbils' Dilemma.
EdithStourton · 11/08/2026 07:58

WearyAuldWumman · 11/08/2026 00:34

Yup.

The worst I ever had was when a male doctor did a scan and attempted to remove polyps with no pain relief at all - hadn't even been warned to take paracetamol.

Afterwards, there was a puddle of blood on the floor. I was given time to clean myself up and the nurse came back in.

I'd heard another nurse in the corridor saying "Is she all right?"

My nurse told me "I've been discussing this with a colleague and we don't think it's right..."

I was then referred for a D&C under GA.

ETA To clarify, I thought I was only going for a scan of some kind.

Edited

Bloody hell.

I had an (attempted) uterine biopsy with no sedation or pain relief. I'm fairly tough (childbirth with gas and air only, plus one half dose of meptid late in labour with the first) but I had to tell the doctor to stop - I could not lie still. I had cramps for weeks afterwards.

That was bad enough but your experience sounds 10x worse.

PastaAllaNorma · 11/08/2026 07:59

Edith, I think all those reasons (plus a massive incisional hernia where the damned emergency C sections wound opened and continues to tear muscle) is why the idea that womanhood is anything other than biological makes me incandescent with fury.

The idea one could 'identify' into and out of this shit storm is so insulting I find it hard to be polite.

And then you look at what is done to women across the world because they are female, and I think every LARPing bloke needs sending to a re-education camp to study Iran, Afghanistan, FGM regions of Africa, killing female babies across the world, backroom abortions, restricted access to education, to healthcare, to full citizenship etc etc, and sent to work with an aid agency to assist those women for two years or more until they have some fucking respect for who women are.

I appear to have woken up feeling full of fire this morning.

Magpie, many commiserations.

FuzzyPuffling · 11/08/2026 08:16

Well said, Pasta.

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 08:25

FuzzyPuffling · 11/08/2026 07:41

There's no gerbils because that bloody pompous bird has poached them all.

Never mind...sorted it.

I'm starting to suspect you have prior history with Fenella! I hope she tasted good in pastry!

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 08:31

DauntlessDamson · 11/08/2026 06:56

I wonder what Fenella will think of the gerbils being unionised? 🤔

Perhaps they need to talk to Gaffer, the shop steward about the contract.

The hamster will be in a union before the kettle is boiled if Gaffer finds out Fenella is employing non unionised staff alongside the gerbils

EmpressaurusKitty · 11/08/2026 08:31

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 08:25

I'm starting to suspect you have prior history with Fenella! I hope she tasted good in pastry!

Kitty would like the feathers to play with, please.

Magpiecomplex · 11/08/2026 09:21

PastaAllaNorma · 11/08/2026 07:59

Edith, I think all those reasons (plus a massive incisional hernia where the damned emergency C sections wound opened and continues to tear muscle) is why the idea that womanhood is anything other than biological makes me incandescent with fury.

The idea one could 'identify' into and out of this shit storm is so insulting I find it hard to be polite.

And then you look at what is done to women across the world because they are female, and I think every LARPing bloke needs sending to a re-education camp to study Iran, Afghanistan, FGM regions of Africa, killing female babies across the world, backroom abortions, restricted access to education, to healthcare, to full citizenship etc etc, and sent to work with an aid agency to assist those women for two years or more until they have some fucking respect for who women are.

I appear to have woken up feeling full of fire this morning.

Magpie, many commiserations.

Thank you Pasta, and everyone. Many times I've walked into the office after dealing with one or more of my confused young autistic female students who think they want to be men, and darkly commented that if I could identify out of perimenopause, I would have done it years ago.
Edith's list is surprising in its length, because you don't see it all written down in the same place, but it's spot on for any woman who's had children. I missed out on the breastfeeding bits (neither child was successful in trying to breastfeed - structural problems) but add in PCOS/PMOS and two C-sections. What infuriated me at one point was the fact that all three of my pregnancies ended in surgery, but Mr Magpie wouldn't even consider even discussing whether he could have the snip after the second child arrived.

FuzzyPuffling · 11/08/2026 09:22

EmpressaurusKitty · 11/08/2026 08:31

Kitty would like the feathers to play with, please.

Carry on, Kitty. I have no further use for them now.

Magpiecomplex · 11/08/2026 09:31

FuzzyPuffling · 11/08/2026 09:22

Carry on, Kitty. I have no further use for them now.

Are you sure you don't want to keep a couple for quill pens?

EmpressaurusKitty · 11/08/2026 09:34

I’m going to tie them to a stick & then if Gubbins would like to wave them around for her to chase, Kitty would be absolutely delighted.

EmpressaurusKitty · 11/08/2026 09:36

Magpiecomplex · 11/08/2026 09:21

Thank you Pasta, and everyone. Many times I've walked into the office after dealing with one or more of my confused young autistic female students who think they want to be men, and darkly commented that if I could identify out of perimenopause, I would have done it years ago.
Edith's list is surprising in its length, because you don't see it all written down in the same place, but it's spot on for any woman who's had children. I missed out on the breastfeeding bits (neither child was successful in trying to breastfeed - structural problems) but add in PCOS/PMOS and two C-sections. What infuriated me at one point was the fact that all three of my pregnancies ended in surgery, but Mr Magpie wouldn't even consider even discussing whether he could have the snip after the second child arrived.

Fucking hell…
And I think that’s an excellent plan for all the LARPing blokes.

FuzzyPuffling · 11/08/2026 09:43

Magpiecomplex · 11/08/2026 09:31

Are you sure you don't want to keep a couple for quill pens?

Might make earrings....