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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, in which we wait excitedly for the next instalment of Gosie's adventures. Gosie, Glass and the Gerbils' Dilemma.

358 replies

AsWithGlad · 10/08/2026 14:37

Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5559589-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-in-which-gosie-returns-to-the-trail?page=1

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the best (perhaps only) online women's pub. Nothing in the food or drink can harm you, everything is served by a very enthusiastic crew of gerbils, and any curious menfolk are welcome at the Staunch Ally down the road.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
52
DauntlessDamson · Yesterday 12:01

EmpressaurusKitty · Yesterday 10:46

I’m going to use my colander.

I thought I'd wander up to the seafront with my colander too.😁

I'm glad we have nuns now, I love a bit of Gregorian Chant. Just don't let them watch Sister Act!

DauntlessDamson · Yesterday 12:02

Hope you are feeling better today Marie

My hands and knees are letting me know the air pressure is about to change - and woe betide anyone who tells me the weather has no effect on joint conditions!

Magpiecomplex · Yesterday 12:03

One of my particularly tenuous claims to fame is that Mr Magpie's landlord, when he was a student, had a starring role in the TV series of Cadfael. After the student landlord thing. Nice bloke. Fond of marmite. He wasn't Derek Jacobi, I should probably clarify!

Magpiecomplex · Yesterday 12:03

DauntlessDamson · Yesterday 12:02

Hope you are feeling better today Marie

My hands and knees are letting me know the air pressure is about to change - and woe betide anyone who tells me the weather has no effect on joint conditions!

Yes, my shoulder has been doing the same thing. Flowers

Chickadeeinme · Yesterday 12:08

I love muhamarra - email me some of yours @PastaAllaNorma! I only discovered it a few years ago when a friend gave me some. It is ridiculously moreish.

PastaAllaNorma · Yesterday 12:09

inkymoose · Yesterday 11:49

How industrious!
I've never heard of muhammara before. Have googled. Looks delicious Grin

I'm having some friends around for lunch tomorrow so I'm doing a mezze. It always ends up being more work than I remember so I try prepare a few things the day before.

Muhamarra is delicious. Very easy with a stick blender as well.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · Yesterday 12:17

Muhamarra sounds delicious!

Boiledbeetle · Yesterday 12:30

Many years ago I bumped into a neighbour of mine coming out of the local cathedral in full priest attire. Said hello as we passed each other and I just filed away in my head that the bloke at No 64 was a priest (or something could have been a vicar, I'm not religious).

Some time later I'm watching some TV drama type thing and there's my neighbour. Dressed as a priest.

WearyAuldWumman · Yesterday 12:52

inkymoose · Yesterday 01:01

Late diagnosed autistic moose here.
I'm in denial about the possibility of auDhd...
I don't believe I am ADHD (no evidence). But like you Myrtle, I recognise many people in my family as being autistic. Both my parents, now dead, definitely autistic.

I don't know what DG and EC stand for, either.

The book sounds amazing, @AnonyMumAuDHD 😎

In my case, I had a HCP suggesting I was on the spectrum and had ADHD when I was 62. I spoke to my GP about it. Her reply was "What's normal?"

I actually got a formal diagnosis of OCD when I was 36. A younger family has a diagnosis of Asperger's and ADHD. He's the spitting image of his dad (my cousin) in every way. Two other youngsters went to uni with school diagnoses of dyslexia and came out of uni with diagnoses of dyslexia and ADHD.

One was asked how on earth he'd got his A levels: "I worked really hard."

It makes a lot of sense of our family. People just used to say that Mum was "really shy".

One of her uncles was the family member who used to retreat to his "hut" [actually a wee probably illegal cottage with working fire in a field] when he became overwhelmed. Latterly, he had a Shetland pony that curled up in front of the fire.

I believe that he also had his own coal supply in the field. He was a retired miner and knew where to dig... [Again, illegal - apparently.]

He used to do a lot of reading - I recall getting books passed on to me.

When I came back from my exchange in Moscow, I gave him a book of pictures of the Moscow Underground.

After he died, the book was passed to me. He'd read it so many times that the pages had fallen loose.

Another of mum's uncles had a family of 9 boys and one girl. Based on family visits, I'd say that three of the boys were on the spectrum. One of them got married - his wife did all the running - but couldn't cope outside his immediate family.

The other two lived together all their days and their sister used to pop in and do their housework. One of the two was his school Dux and should have gone to Edinburgh Uni - there was a bursary waiting for him - but his Dad had died young, so he went straight into work.

Because he was so clever, he escaped the coalmines and got a job with the water board. He used to cycle out of the town into the countryside every day for work and was perfectly happy there.

@AnonyMumAuDHD

When I brought my Primary 7 report home, Mum read "Weary allows no question to be unanswered."

She sighed and said "Oh, Weary...Have you been talking too much to the teacher again?!"

I learned to fake eye contact when I was at school and when I worked as a teacher. When I was on dinner duty at my last school, a couple of the laddies used to come up and blether to me whilst I was watching the queue and it was like looking at myself at their age.

A note went round the staff asking us not to engage in conversation about "Doctor Who" with one of the boys, since that was one of his "obsessions".

cough Guilty.

The last I heard, that wee boy was doing Astronomy at Edinburgh Uni.

MarieDeGournay · Yesterday 12:56

DauntlessDamson · Yesterday 12:02

Hope you are feeling better today Marie

My hands and knees are letting me know the air pressure is about to change - and woe betide anyone who tells me the weather has no effect on joint conditions!

Thank you, yes I am but of course now waaaay behind not just on Bluey events, but practical stuff around the house - that's what I hate about being out of action for a day or two: because I'm on my own, nothing gets done, I return to exactly what needed to be done a day ago, except now it's a day later😒
I hope the pressure settles down to being one thing or the other - it is apparently the change that causes migraines, so presumably other things too, like your hands and kneesFlowers
and Magpie's shoulderFlowers
and others' ailmentsFlowers

Don't the gerbils look cute in their habits?? I think some nuns have gone back to wearing 'proper' habits, there was a period when a 'nun's habit' was a navy polyester skirt, a navy cardi, and a blouse buttoned up to the neck..
So they were completely integrated in the community and no-one knew they were nuns 😏
Kind of the sartorial equivalent of Mass in the vernacular.

St Gertrude the Great popped up in another thread because some eejit said GC feminists were so cult-ish that we were hoping for sainthood, and I pointed out that we didn't need to become saints, there already is a Patron Saint of Truth and Justice, St Gertrude the Great.

As with all these saints, there's lots that we would agree was Great, you go gurl, about her but then you read deeper and start thinking...😟maybe not..

But her name begins with a G and I think the gerbils have adopted her as their patron saint, so that's OK.

MyrtleLion · Yesterday 13:06

AnonyMumAuDHD · Yesterday 09:05

Blinking typos [the g&Ts] - meant GD (gender dysphoria) and EDs (eating disorders) 🤦🏽‍♀️

I think also, as you get older, you have more experience. autistic people are less able to adapt and learn social nuance, but what comes to many people intuitively by the time they are 21, say, takes hundreds more ‘rehearsals’ in an autistic people. By the time a woman is in her 40s or 50s she will have had so much more social exposure, made lots more mistakes, learned that it’s best to try and zip, it rather than be honest because her delivery doesn’t seem to land as well as the ‘cool’ women who chair the PTA. They will have come to terms with being on the outside, fluttering around the edges, because they know they can’t advance to the centre of the gang and come to be resigned - almost grateful - to be allowed to be in that far.

Lots of people who meet me register the ADHD pretty immediately (I can’t STFU) but because they don’t understand how autism presents in women, they don’t ‘see’ that aspect of my ND. Ironically i would day that 95% of my best, closest and longer-term friendships have all turned out to be ND women (or mothers if ND kids but aware that they must be too). It’s as though we recognised each other, even before we knew what all this stuff was and it kept us bonded.

Well, that and shared love of textiles/crafts, dogs/cats and tunnocks of course.

Ironically i would day that 95% of my best, closest and longer-term friendships have all turned out to be ND women (or mothers if ND kids but aware that they must be too). It’s as though we recognised each other, even before we knew what all this stuff was and it kept us bonded.

I've just made a new friend who is very lovely and also ND, and looking at my very few, very good friends I would say that they were ND too. I literally wondered that the other day on the way back from my new friend's house, wondering if the reason we hit it off so well so quickly, was a joint understanding and acceptance of neurodiversity.

Magpiecomplex · Yesterday 13:07

When I brought my Primary 7 report home, Mum read "Weary allows no question to be unanswered."

@WearyAuldWumman one of my English teachers once described me as never stuck for something to say. She didn't mean it as a compliment. I'm almost certainly on the spectrum, and I've come to realise I do have some ADHD traits too although I don't present like my AuDHD students do. Possibly that's because I'm a lot older than them and more exhausted.

MyrtleLion · Yesterday 13:09

Magpiecomplex · Yesterday 11:01

They appear to be in the Benedictine tradition, which would definitely fit with producing alcohol. We just need to watch out for the gerbils' version of a Brother Cadfael.

Isn't Gosie our Brother Cadfael? With all the investigating and that?

Magpiecomplex · Yesterday 13:10

MyrtleLion · Yesterday 13:09

Isn't Gosie our Brother Cadfael? With all the investigating and that?

Actually that's an excellent point! Indeed she is!

MarieDeGournay · Yesterday 13:11

Because I'm reading in catch-up mode, I missed the arrival of beeakoala - are you new, or a name-changer?
If you are new, you are very welcome to the Bluey, I hope you've settled in already and availed of the wide range of delicious food and drink, none of which contain anything problematic like gluten or calories or anything🍨🍷🍰
I can't vouch for the quality of service - normally we can confidently boast that you won't find a more efficient or professional équipe of bar-gerbils anywhere, but if you've been following the adventures of Gosie, you'll know that the legendary team spirit and loyalty to la maison of the gerbils has been put under strain recently.

So reading in catch-up mode I thought 'Oh no - beeakoala is new, and the first thing that happens to her is that she falls in love with Puss-in-Crocs, but somebody else has got in first😞Poor beeakoala.

Then up stepped Android with the perfect Bluestocking solution: everybody who wants a cat called Beverly shall have a cat called Beverley.

To distinguish them, they can have Beverley Sisters' names - Joy, Teddie, and Babs, as middle names, and if there are more than three of them, we can use the Beverley Sisters' real names as well: Hazel, Patricia and Pamela.
All excellent cat names I'm sure you'll agree😃

MyrtleLion · Yesterday 13:40

MarieDeGournay · Yesterday 12:56

Thank you, yes I am but of course now waaaay behind not just on Bluey events, but practical stuff around the house - that's what I hate about being out of action for a day or two: because I'm on my own, nothing gets done, I return to exactly what needed to be done a day ago, except now it's a day later😒
I hope the pressure settles down to being one thing or the other - it is apparently the change that causes migraines, so presumably other things too, like your hands and kneesFlowers
and Magpie's shoulderFlowers
and others' ailmentsFlowers

Don't the gerbils look cute in their habits?? I think some nuns have gone back to wearing 'proper' habits, there was a period when a 'nun's habit' was a navy polyester skirt, a navy cardi, and a blouse buttoned up to the neck..
So they were completely integrated in the community and no-one knew they were nuns 😏
Kind of the sartorial equivalent of Mass in the vernacular.

St Gertrude the Great popped up in another thread because some eejit said GC feminists were so cult-ish that we were hoping for sainthood, and I pointed out that we didn't need to become saints, there already is a Patron Saint of Truth and Justice, St Gertrude the Great.

As with all these saints, there's lots that we would agree was Great, you go gurl, about her but then you read deeper and start thinking...😟maybe not..

But her name begins with a G and I think the gerbils have adopted her as their patron saint, so that's OK.

The humans think St Gertrude looks like this. Obviously they are trying to steal the gerbils' glory.

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, in which we wait excitedly for the next instalment of Gosie's adventures. Gosie, Glass and the Gerbils' Dilemma.
MyrtleLion · Yesterday 13:44

MarieDeGournay · Yesterday 13:11

Because I'm reading in catch-up mode, I missed the arrival of beeakoala - are you new, or a name-changer?
If you are new, you are very welcome to the Bluey, I hope you've settled in already and availed of the wide range of delicious food and drink, none of which contain anything problematic like gluten or calories or anything🍨🍷🍰
I can't vouch for the quality of service - normally we can confidently boast that you won't find a more efficient or professional équipe of bar-gerbils anywhere, but if you've been following the adventures of Gosie, you'll know that the legendary team spirit and loyalty to la maison of the gerbils has been put under strain recently.

So reading in catch-up mode I thought 'Oh no - beeakoala is new, and the first thing that happens to her is that she falls in love with Puss-in-Crocs, but somebody else has got in first😞Poor beeakoala.

Then up stepped Android with the perfect Bluestocking solution: everybody who wants a cat called Beverly shall have a cat called Beverley.

To distinguish them, they can have Beverley Sisters' names - Joy, Teddie, and Babs, as middle names, and if there are more than three of them, we can use the Beverley Sisters' real names as well: Hazel, Patricia and Pamela.
All excellent cat names I'm sure you'll agree😃

I love you so much, Marie!

I want to meet you in person and be your friend.

MyrtleLion · Yesterday 13:47

I am also realising the ADHD medication means I no longer have to scroll through all of even the OP's threads on subjects like parking disputes and discussions about vegans turning up without letting the host know in advance. I'm two posts in and I think, how sad for you, but I don't care.

It's freed up so much time!

Obviously I read every single post on the Bluestocking.

Magpiecomplex · Yesterday 14:03

MyrtleLion · Yesterday 13:40

The humans think St Gertrude looks like this. Obviously they are trying to steal the gerbils' glory.

I do think she looks unusually sultry for a saint. Big dark eyes, rosebud lips...

AnonyMumAuDHD · Yesterday 14:37

Magpiecomplex · Yesterday 13:07

When I brought my Primary 7 report home, Mum read "Weary allows no question to be unanswered."

@WearyAuldWumman one of my English teachers once described me as never stuck for something to say. She didn't mean it as a compliment. I'm almost certainly on the spectrum, and I've come to realise I do have some ADHD traits too although I don't present like my AuDHD students do. Possibly that's because I'm a lot older than them and more exhausted.

Love these anecdotes - my DD had a comment in her infant school report to the effect of “has a very firm sense of right and wrong, especially in the face of pressure from her peers”. I remember reading that and being over the moon that I had such a ‘good’ child who was strong enough to resist peer pressure so young - what a great parent I must be, I thought… now I read those lines and think, oh yeah, autistic. And then wonder, why didn’t they ask the question then? It was only 15 years ago!

AnonyMumAuDHD · Yesterday 14:47

OMG just realised I have 4-5 weeks to finish DS’s college blanket!! It’s 4/7 done, but not quite big enough for a double bed… eeek!!!

Might have to use audible to get through my essential reading so that I can knit knit knit like a demon!! Why did he have to be sooo bloody tall. Had to make his much bigger than his DSisters’s. I may have given him too many tunnocks as a child (it certainly wasn’t down to vegetables).

Hmmm is there any software that converts texts and research into audiofiles, does anyone know?

EmpressaurusKitty · Yesterday 14:57

Good luck Anony! Can you do it on autopilot?

I’m back at the dentist. My temporary crown fell off on Sunday evening so I’ve been going round with the remains of my original front tooth, and now they’re going to put a nice new permanent crown on for me. Hopefully. Maybe. If they’ve made it the right size this time.

AsWithGlad · Yesterday 15:24

Boiledbeetle · Yesterday 10:08

I've just seen gerbil nuns!

(I Blame @MarieDeGournay )

I wondered why St Gertrude the Great holds a baby’s bottle in her right paw. Does that signify that she cares for those unable to look after themselves?

It was more concerning when I scrolled in.
My first thought - naked flames! In a drought!
Then I reminded myself that the photo might not have been taken today.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · Yesterday 15:29

We’ve been for a walk in the park before it got too hot. Extremely grateful to whoever planted the avenues of trees along the path by the river and the old tramway across the newly rebuilt bridge. Some of them are still quite young but growing well - resistant elms which have a lovely shape. The grass is still mostly green here thanks to a few rain showers over the last few weeks.
Then did some food shopping and back for a late salad lunch. I have a couple of tomato plants which yielded enough cherry tomatoes for mine - the Sungolds are sweet enough to fully qualify as fruit.

I now have to decide whether to venture out again or stay in and æstivate.

EmpressaurusKitty · Yesterday 15:31

SUCCESS! Empress has her nice new crown!

Errol, I’d stay in now.

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