Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, in which we wait excitedly for the next instalment of Gosie's adventures. Gosie, Glass and the Gerbils' Dilemma.

358 replies

AsWithGlad · 10/08/2026 14:37

Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5559589-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-in-which-gosie-returns-to-the-trail?page=1

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the best (perhaps only) online women's pub. Nothing in the food or drink can harm you, everything is served by a very enthusiastic crew of gerbils, and any curious menfolk are welcome at the Staunch Ally down the road.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
52
AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 21:09

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 21:00

@AnonyMumAuDHD erm.....

Where do you think you're going?

Back to the laptop, you've still got the other 40,000 words to do now.

Bugger - was hoping to get one night off to scoff an almond magnum and a G&T!

Magpiecomplex · 11/08/2026 21:11

AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 21:09

Bugger - was hoping to get one night off to scoff an almond magnum and a G&T!

You can do that while writing!

EmpressaurusKitty · 11/08/2026 21:11

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 20:58

@AngleofRepose has also expressed interest.

So, do the pair of you fight to the death? Share the cat? Or stand 10 feet apart with identical cat treats and see which of you the cat distribution network thinks needs a cat more?

I think it should be up to the cat.

Although at the moment she’s probably off her whiskers.

AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 21:15

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 20:56

I cautiously thought it was you!!!

And

YAY!

LOL. Had to block MN on my iPad for a while as part of a SM detox … ok, just so that I would stop doing and reading absolutely anything other than doing the school work or the ironing. Oh Bugger. I still have the ironing, don’t I?

Skulks off to sulk. There was I thinking I could just watch season 4 of van der Valk and ponder a visit to Amsterdam.

FuzzyPuffling · 11/08/2026 21:22

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 20:58

@AngleofRepose has also expressed interest.

So, do the pair of you fight to the death? Share the cat? Or stand 10 feet apart with identical cat treats and see which of you the cat distribution network thinks needs a cat more?

Just get another cat.

EmpressaurusKitty · 11/08/2026 21:28

AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 21:15

LOL. Had to block MN on my iPad for a while as part of a SM detox … ok, just so that I would stop doing and reading absolutely anything other than doing the school work or the ironing. Oh Bugger. I still have the ironing, don’t I?

Skulks off to sulk. There was I thinking I could just watch season 4 of van der Valk and ponder a visit to Amsterdam.

Come and have a drink to celebrate, Lurkey - if any gerbils are available, that is. Things are a bit fraught at the moment.

What’s your book about?

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 21:30

AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 21:09

Bugger - was hoping to get one night off to scoff an almond magnum and a G&T!

Hmmmm.

Fine!

I'll lock you back in the dining room at 8.58 am tomorrow.

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 21:46

OMG.

I know where Beverly came from...

Androids lab. It's the only explanation that fits.

So everyone who wants a Beverly pick one up at the bar. All versions surplus to requirement will enter the wider world cat distribution network at midnight

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, in which we wait excitedly for the next instalment of Gosie's adventures. Gosie, Glass and the Gerbils' Dilemma.
Magpiecomplex · 11/08/2026 21:49

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 21:46

OMG.

I know where Beverly came from...

Androids lab. It's the only explanation that fits.

So everyone who wants a Beverly pick one up at the bar. All versions surplus to requirement will enter the wider world cat distribution network at midnight

Can I just have the crocs? Wasn't really that fussed about the cat if I'm honest.

beeakoala · 11/08/2026 21:50

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 21:46

OMG.

I know where Beverly came from...

Androids lab. It's the only explanation that fits.

So everyone who wants a Beverly pick one up at the bar. All versions surplus to requirement will enter the wider world cat distribution network at midnight

I'm on my way

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 21:52

Magpiecomplex · 11/08/2026 21:49

Can I just have the crocs? Wasn't really that fussed about the cat if I'm honest.

I think they may be a bit too big for you. I think you need to go down a few sizes.

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, in which we wait excitedly for the next instalment of Gosie's adventures. Gosie, Glass and the Gerbils' Dilemma.
Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 21:53

beeakoala · 11/08/2026 21:50

I'm on my way

She'll be waiting at the bar!

AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 21:56

EmpressaurusKitty · 11/08/2026 21:28

Come and have a drink to celebrate, Lurkey - if any gerbils are available, that is. Things are a bit fraught at the moment.

What’s your book about?

You might regret asking 🤣

the thesis began as an exploration of the depiction of mothers/motherhood in crime fiction (most negative male behaviours, dysfunction and even psychopathy is essentially set up to blame the mother, even if she died in childbirth, a serial killer’s conduct will be blamed on her absence) [pick a crime novel, any novel, I dare you not to see it]

this evolved to explore the representation of mothers where the dynamic was in some way atypical, focusing on autism/ND; essentially there are no novels exploring this (the curious incident, mum abandons ASD boy and he is raised by dad)

then: is it okay to attribute autism to characters where it was not explicitly intended (Sherlock, Poirot, etc are retrospectively co-opted into the autistic lit canon, when ASD as we understand it was not when those characters were created and we have no idea whether they are based on people in the authors’ lives who MAY, if alive now, have been diagnosed. Is attributing autistic traits any different to, say, self ID as an ND (controversial now)… or is there an ethical issue over the appropriation and attribution of autism/ND

… there’s more …

then it evolved into looking at whether autism is authentically presented - in the curious incident, the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo etc the authors did ZERO research into autism, were not autistic, had no autistic family members but expressly created autistic characters

in the case of the latter, the only female representation of autism in fiction, what does this say about the misrepresentation and the misunderstanding of female autism given the male centric research history and bias within the design of diagnostic protocols?

and then, I ended up looking at late diagnosed women (often mothers, you see) and how the understanding formative life experiences, relationships and their motherhood, can shift with a diagnosis of autism.
Ta da!

and the book…

is a domestic noir about 4 generations of women: three mothers, one tho failed to protect her daughter from abuse; one who abandoned her child as an infant; one who is raising an autistic daughter filled with grief for the life and the child she thought she was meant to have. When the first dies, the second is asked to return, and the third (Mum 3 is the main character) is left to deal with the unravelling of the secrets of her mother and the grandmother who raised her when a body is uncovered in the foundations of the family home. Murder, mayhem, gaslighting and toxic relationships abound… but mum 3 begins her motherhood journey feeling trapped by the obligations of her autistic daughter only to be saved by her at the end…

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 21:56

beeakoala · 11/08/2026 21:50

I'm on my way

Yours is the one with a red carnation.

Oh I see you've spotted her.

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, in which we wait excitedly for the next instalment of Gosie's adventures. Gosie, Glass and the Gerbils' Dilemma.
Magpiecomplex · 11/08/2026 21:59

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 21:52

I think they may be a bit too big for you. I think you need to go down a few sizes.

Bugger.

AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 21:59

Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 21:56

Yours is the one with a red carnation.

Oh I see you've spotted her.

Loooove a koala! Almost as cute as a chimp. Got to cuddle one of those for reals once, his name was Dennis 🥰 🤣

AsWithGlad · 11/08/2026 22:02

Goodness me, @AnonyMumAuDHD or Lurkey. Wow!

Welcome back, and of course it’s right to have the rest of the evening off, with a G&T and a Magnum.

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 11/08/2026 22:04

Magpiecomplex · 11/08/2026 21:59

Bugger.

I think this pair is a better fit

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, in which we wait excitedly for the next instalment of Gosie's adventures. Gosie, Glass and the Gerbils' Dilemma.
AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 22:05

AsWithGlad · 11/08/2026 22:02

Goodness me, @AnonyMumAuDHD or Lurkey. Wow!

Welcome back, and of course it’s right to have the rest of the evening off, with a G&T and a Magnum.

But not a magnum of G&T, though, right? Or does that work too?

JanesLittleGirl · 11/08/2026 22:10

OK. This is weirder than I like. Please may I have a large gold watch and some salted almonds please bargerbil? I'll take them in the snug. I hope that normality will have been restored in the morning.

AsWithGlad · 11/08/2026 22:59

AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 22:05

But not a magnum of G&T, though, right? Or does that work too?

Anything you like! This is The Bluestocking, after all.

OP posts:
AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 23:13

AsWithGlad · 11/08/2026 22:59

Anything you like! This is The Bluestocking, after all.

A jeroboam, then, please.

MyrtleLion · 11/08/2026 23:22

AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 21:56

You might regret asking 🤣

the thesis began as an exploration of the depiction of mothers/motherhood in crime fiction (most negative male behaviours, dysfunction and even psychopathy is essentially set up to blame the mother, even if she died in childbirth, a serial killer’s conduct will be blamed on her absence) [pick a crime novel, any novel, I dare you not to see it]

this evolved to explore the representation of mothers where the dynamic was in some way atypical, focusing on autism/ND; essentially there are no novels exploring this (the curious incident, mum abandons ASD boy and he is raised by dad)

then: is it okay to attribute autism to characters where it was not explicitly intended (Sherlock, Poirot, etc are retrospectively co-opted into the autistic lit canon, when ASD as we understand it was not when those characters were created and we have no idea whether they are based on people in the authors’ lives who MAY, if alive now, have been diagnosed. Is attributing autistic traits any different to, say, self ID as an ND (controversial now)… or is there an ethical issue over the appropriation and attribution of autism/ND

… there’s more …

then it evolved into looking at whether autism is authentically presented - in the curious incident, the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo etc the authors did ZERO research into autism, were not autistic, had no autistic family members but expressly created autistic characters

in the case of the latter, the only female representation of autism in fiction, what does this say about the misrepresentation and the misunderstanding of female autism given the male centric research history and bias within the design of diagnostic protocols?

and then, I ended up looking at late diagnosed women (often mothers, you see) and how the understanding formative life experiences, relationships and their motherhood, can shift with a diagnosis of autism.
Ta da!

and the book…

is a domestic noir about 4 generations of women: three mothers, one tho failed to protect her daughter from abuse; one who abandoned her child as an infant; one who is raising an autistic daughter filled with grief for the life and the child she thought she was meant to have. When the first dies, the second is asked to return, and the third (Mum 3 is the main character) is left to deal with the unravelling of the secrets of her mother and the grandmother who raised her when a body is uncovered in the foundations of the family home. Murder, mayhem, gaslighting and toxic relationships abound… but mum 3 begins her motherhood journey feeling trapped by the obligations of her autistic daughter only to be saved by her at the end…

Wow!

I want to read your thesis AND your book. 💙

Recently officially diagnosed AuADHD, July and May 2026, but long assumed I was autistic and was diagnosed “borderline” 15 years ago because even clinical psychologists couldn’t see that it presents in women. My therapist thought I had ADHD last year and now I have had a diagnosis and I’ve just started medication.

Gosie’s adventures are deliberately written without stating any interior reactions or thoughts that are not observable. This is because I don’t understand what other people are thinking unless they say. If AI (my co-writer) suggests something I wouldn’t understand, it doesn’t go in.

So I agree it would be helpful to have autistic women’s input to stories about them. That is different to autistic women writing about autistic women because I think my autistic characteristics stop me being able to write specific traits. Obviously some autistic women may be able to do that, but I wouldn’t know how to deliberately write someone like that.

AnonyMumAuDHD · 11/08/2026 23:48

MyrtleLion · 11/08/2026 23:22

Wow!

I want to read your thesis AND your book. 💙

Recently officially diagnosed AuADHD, July and May 2026, but long assumed I was autistic and was diagnosed “borderline” 15 years ago because even clinical psychologists couldn’t see that it presents in women. My therapist thought I had ADHD last year and now I have had a diagnosis and I’ve just started medication.

Gosie’s adventures are deliberately written without stating any interior reactions or thoughts that are not observable. This is because I don’t understand what other people are thinking unless they say. If AI (my co-writer) suggests something I wouldn’t understand, it doesn’t go in.

So I agree it would be helpful to have autistic women’s input to stories about them. That is different to autistic women writing about autistic women because I think my autistic characteristics stop me being able to write specific traits. Obviously some autistic women may be able to do that, but I wouldn’t know how to deliberately write someone like that.

Aw. - will work hard to make it worth while and share. I want to do a post doc on late diagnosed ASD/AuDHD women (also recently diagnosed, ‘cos the kids wanted to know and it helped us understand that we passed behaviours and responses as ‘normal’ because, as a family it was).

My interest would be in getting them to write memoirs pieces, essays or even short stories about how their diagnoses has helped them reframe or understand their past and relationships in a new light. Through FWR, I’ve noticed many of us may not have DG, but we’ve has EDs, anxiety, depressions, issues with puberty and gender conformity. Many have been in abusive relationships - cos it’s difficult to see the red flags if you have theory of mind challenges, or you cannot read body language/tone/facial expressions fluently, or if you have sustain years of conditioning through dysfunctional parenting, school bullying etc that erodes your confidence in doing any of the above and/or just your self confidence generally.

Not saying all autistic women are the same or experience all or any of these things, but many older women will be able to narrate experiences that were exacerbated by or even facilitated by the existence of their autism. I think their voices, the experiences of older women need to be shared and heard so that clinicians understand the obstacles it has (and may continue) to present so that they can also better understand how autism impacts the daily lives, relationships, career development of women … and then tailor support for younger autistic women proactively using that shared knowledge?

Anyway, that’s my pennyworth. Am on my second magnum of g&t…

MyrtleLion · 11/08/2026 23:55

I love that!

I'm very rules-bound which can means I can be quite rigid, but it is an advantage when explaining why organisations can’t legally do what they are attempting to do. (I tried to be a lawyer but my autism meant I didn’t understand how to answer exam questions and failed. Then someone gave me some techniques, I went back to university and gained a first class degree and an MSc.)

As I’ve got older I know I can bend the rules a bit and I understand that often nobody cares.

I also think my family is autistic and we had quite a strict routine, but some of that was my mum having four children under four.

I don’t know what DG and EC stand for.

Swipe left for the next trending thread