Today I discovered that Hinge can delete your account if as a straight male you complain about males appearing in your dating queue…

[SingleSexSpacesInSchools]

I only discovered this after having made two reports, and it’s Sunday, so I suppose I’ll find out tomorrow if they are going to follow through.

• [This paragraph has been removed at the OP's request]

I'm sure someone will be along in a minute and ask why it has to be a thing in a relationship at all but given the case I’m following through it sort of has to be out there!

And yet, she just compared them. Mind-fuck!

I don’t and I did wonder if that is the source of our mutual lack of understanding

I’m still at a loss as to why it would be sensible to match a man looking for women with men, but given that you seem to be pretending men in skirts are women, I don’t think we’re going to see eye to eye on that point

True on how Hinge markets itself. They should probably have more features that allow you to filter your matches than fewer for that reason.

🤯🤯🤯

I don’t know much about Hinge, but I have a suspicion that if it asked trans-identifying people reliably to note that fact about themselves (as it would need to do to offer a filter) it would bring down the wrath of the TRAs upon itself and be immediately declared transphobic and verboten to the faithful.

I don’t really see the benefit for transwomen tbh. The majority of straight men aren’t going to be interested. I’d have thought dating apps were depressing enough, without being served up as about as welcome a dish as a pork sausage at a vegan barbecue.

How very dare you, for thinking that straight men won’t check their straight privilege at the sign-up page and widen their horizons.

@MakesNoDifferenceA mantrum 😂

Okay so how it works is that you get to say who you are, and the type of person you are looking for. You get to filter your search for available people based on this latter information.

It's app specific but location is always one thing you can restrict in your search. It allows you to look for people within a certain range like 20km. Then it allows you to choose other things like whether you are seeking men, women, or both. An age range. They may even let you filter by height or weight. Some of these filters are special features for people who pay.

So you might click:
Women between 30-45, within 10km, over 5'5 and under 12 stone.

And then it would show you all the women who meet that criteria according to the personal information they provided.

So if they had a sexual orientation filter where you could only seek straight women, for instance, it would not necessarily mean that it would show you biological women. It would show you anyone who says they are a woman (or to put in it in other terms, IDs as a woman).

OP has not said he wants to filter women by sexual orientation. He wants to filter out people who are trans women. The problem is that most sites these days aren't interested in that problem people might have

It’s so weird that you can say “I don’t want a woman over 12 stone” but can’t say “I don’t want a ‘woman’ with a penis”.

Yeah, I was thinking that. It would actually be better for the TW who use it to be paired with men who might date a TW, rather than be repeatedly rejected again and again.

It's a business. Think of Mumsnet. They get a lot of wrath for supporting GC views but obviously they've made enough money and garnered enough support to replace any they've lost to still make profit/be a viable business.

If there are enough people who don't care or fully support a more GC inclusive dating app, these big companies will provide it.

Mumsnet should consider making a dating app. Maybe verifying users and stuff for safety. Firstly for single parents but the whole GC aspect could be a strong theme too.

You can't always say that on every app. Some have removed such features..some make it part of their exclusive package.

🎯

Is Hinge US-based?

It all sounds terrible.

No idea. Also no idea how much things like filters vary by region.

They are pretty awful. The messages my friends get from men. And these are the ones that are really trying hard. Unbelievable.

Hinge is particularly LGBT+ friendly, and is a bad fit for OP. Match, eHarmony and Plenty of Fish would be better. Maybe try those.

I hear some people speak about ChristianMingle . No idea if it is popular here.

I’m told many men on these apps choose as their profile pictures snaps of themselves holding large fish. Possibly to show what great providers they could be? The whole thing sounds rather awful but I get that if you want to date it’s hard to avoid

however like others I am genuinely agog that there are people on this thread who don’t bat an eyelid at app users specifying the weight of people they want to date, but effectively being unable to specify the sex of those people. It’s so fundamental

I mean you know people can’t change sex, right? You get that if the OP relaxed his strict ‘no dicks’ rule and hooked up with Fred of the chiffon blouse, no birth control would be required? And you know that some people only like to sleep with the same sex, and some with the opposite, and pressuring them to change their preferences is wrong?

the pretendy wide eyed-ness is just so puzzling

OP doesn’t have to date or sleep with anyone he doesn’t want to. He is in complete control of who he chooses to swipe on the dating apps.

But someone being in your potential matches doesnt mean you have to message them, date them or have sex with them. It just means they turn up in your search when you are looking for available women in the OP's case. It's just a case of scrolling past or swiping left or whatever that app uses.

Tbf to @Lexibletheflexible I think they’re just outlining the limitations of the apps as they operate currently, rather than passing judgement on that. Although I could be wrong.

Can’t people just get roaring drunk and sleep with someone regrettable from down the pub. Like the old days.