Today I discovered that Hinge can delete your account if as a straight male you complain about males appearing in your dating queue…

[SingleSexSpacesInSchools]

I only discovered this after having made two reports, and it’s Sunday, so I suppose I’ll find out tomorrow if they are going to follow through.

• [This paragraph has been removed at the OP's request]

I'm sure someone will be along in a minute and ask why it has to be a thing in a relationship at all but given the case I’m following through it sort of has to be out there!

it's an hilariously terrible argument but as always they do our work for us

I think quite a few of the site's users would take issue with the idea that their needs are reflected in the site design. Given that you are thrown off for saying you are heterosexual and only want to meet people of the opposite sex or gay/lesbian and only want to meet people of the same sex there probably is an incentive to not kick up a fuss if you want to carry on with online dating.

I think that apps would have that feature if it was highly requested by their userbase. For example, Tinder rolling out the height filter for women. That was based on what their female users wanted.

That would depend on how many of that demographic use the site. If they are a minority, then they won't influence business decisions.

Depending on when the trans person makes their status known, that trans person could end up with a prison term for sexual assault on the basis of vitiated consent from the OP. It’s quite serious.

IKR - that's hilarious!
"Seeking a 6-foot tall,12-stone brunette - sex irrelevant"

Unfortunately trans status is a highly politicised, contentious and sensitive issue, which height isn't.

In an ideal world, people could just say they do or don't want to meet trans people on a dating app and that would be fine and respected. But as it is, that's not the case.

Interesting comparison. Catfishing is a morally reprehensible deliberate deception for nefarious purposes. Is that what you meant to imply a trans-identifying person not identifying themselves as such at the outset is doing?

Every human on the planet is either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. You could make a case for asexual as a fourth option but you probably wouldn't be on a dating app. A person's sex is a core part of sexual attraction. To argue it's not very important because Hinge don't offer it as an option is madness.

I think you can feel catfished whenever the person you meet isn't what you expected. Whether you were catfished or not is dependent on the details of your entire interaction but is largely irrelevant to your feelings.

I wouldn't argue with someone who felt they were catfished because the person turned out to be trans.

I don't argue with my friends who feel catfished when a guy just photographs really well and isn't as good looking in person. They sometimes see more intention in it than I do from the outside.

Good news everyone, tomorrows lunch and dog date is still on.

haven’t asked her if she has a vagina yet, but I will when we meet face to face.

I don't get your point. The OP didn't say he wants to omit bisexual women. Homosexual women won't show up for his searches. Heterosexual women will.

The problem is that some of the people listed as women will be trans women. Just like some will be incompatible for other reasons. OP will have to go through his matches and find women he is into to swipe right or whatever. Then he will have to follow up with questions to ensure that person is good match which is just standard. His questions will just also include asking whether they are trans or not if the pictures aren't entirely clear.

Maybe don't make it your opening remark 🤣

I would if it means the date will be over right then and there if the answer isn't satisfactory. I'd be asking now!

I hope you are joking! Luckily, you won't need to ask because it will be entirely obvious just by seeing her irl, watching her move and listening to her talk. Good luck.

Or apps can’t be arsed with the fuss it would cause. Or would prefer to shift risk to the user. It also seems potentially homophobic to effectively reduce a person’s sexuality to a preference like preferring tall men or not liking pineapple on pizza.

Hope the date goes well. 🙂

Well it would only cause a fuss if the majority of their users were against it. If the majority are in support of it and think it is necessary, they would implement something that at least makes people list their sex at birth as well as their current gender identity so you could then search by sex at birth.

They would lose a lot of income. These apps are great opportunity for trans-identified men to be 'out' as women.

And let's not forget the Australian Giggle app - intended and marketed as just for natal women - lost their court case brought by an infiltrating cross-dresser claiming to be a woman.

Did the majority of Giggle’s users want transwomen to be allowed to join? You seem very naive.

What is Giggle?

He's heterosexual. That's the point. He's looking for a woman to date, not a man who identifies as a woman. It's not just that dating apps won't allow people to list for biological sex. It's that they throw you off if you object. This is a massive problem for lesbians who have to wade through a bunch of rapey men who claim to be lesbians. If the rapey men were thrown off the apps then we'd be getting somewhere.

Oh I just googled it. No, and that is the point. Apps get to set their rules and they do so based on the personal values of whoever owns them but also because it is a business, the membership. The OP needs to find (or make) an app similar to this which is for men to find available women.

Object how, though? The OP uses the word "report" to say what he did. He didn't just send in a site suggestion from the sounds of it. And that app seem to have a specific rule about reporting people in your search results for being trans.

This whole pretending not to understand is so very tiresome

I’d report a profile that was more than 10 km away from me because that’s what my filter says

I’d report a profile that was out of my age range because that’s what my filter says

I’d report a profile that said non-monogamous because I’m looking for a monogamous relationship and that’s what my filter says

And I’ve report a profile that had different goals around children than the ones I set because that’s what my filter says

I can and have literally filtered on about 30 different things. Why can’t I filter on has or doesn’t have a penis??

Why is that one thing so incredibly special??

Hinge actually allows you to filter by ethnicity, drinks, smokes, height, age, has kids, wants kids, drugs, politics, education level!!!

you could be an ageist racist classist snob who hates children and you are accomodated

but say you don’t want blokes in your feed and you’re a biggot? That’s bollocks. Literally.