This is a bit of a weird, "Know your place, woman!" one.
I played bass guitar in a band with two male guitarists and a male drummer. The two guitarists and I were also vocalists and we led on different songs.
When we were on stage it was almost random where we stood in the line-up, except I always ended up on one side or the other of the line-up and one of the two guitarists was randomly in the middle.
Then our manager said he wanted me to be in the middle because it was a better balance visually. We played a couple of times like this and then the guitarists kicked off!
They both said that it wasn't appropriate for me to be in the middle because it made it look as if it was "her band" rather than that we were all equals. Because, of course, we were all equals, what with them being "feminists" 😵💫
So I asked how they felt about one of them being in the middle, did that not make it look like whichever one of them was in the middle would make it seem like it was "his band" rather than us all being equal?
No! No! No! No! It wouldn't matter which one of them was in the middle, no one would make the mistake of thinking that it meant it was "his band"!!
But it would definitely give the wrong impression if I was in the middle, people would obviously think it was "her band" and that would be awful - because, of course, we were all equal!
Such fragile male egos these male "feminists" have - can't have a woman taking centre stage, literally! 😂
Oh! That has reminded me of another one! This time with some gratuitous violence!
This was a different band with a big line up. We were playing on a long, high stage and there were not enough mics to go round. We decided that whoever was on each end of the lineup would share a mic with the person next to them.
The band leader (there was one this time) was an arrogant twat. While the rest of us were setting up the stage and tuning our instruments he was off swanning around and mingling with other musicians in the audience whom he admired.
I was right on one end of the lineup again, because everyone had grabbed their place while I had been chasing round after the Band Leader trying to get him to come up on stage and get ready.
By the time the band leader deigned to come up on stage we were running late - waiting for him. Not even time for a sound check. Everyone had sorted themselves out with a mic, there was no time to swap around and he was left having to share a mic with me on the end of the line up, rather him having his own mic in pride of place, centre stage.
He was angry about it but I reminded him that it shouldn't be a problem because there was no song in the set where we sang at the same time, so it would be "his mic" when he needed it and I would stand back.
It worked out fine for the first song, where I did not sing at all and I stood back while he sang.
I had some parts in the second song but he did not sing at all, so it should have worked as a mirror image of the first song.
Except when I went to take the mic to sing my part he jumped forward and shouldered me away so suddenly and so hard that I staggered badly and nearly fell off the stage - and he sang my part!
There was a big gasp from the audience, both at what he had done but also because it looked like I was going to fall flat off the stage and break some bones, but he didn't seem to notice.
He planted himself right on the mic so I could not get to it to sing at all for the rest of the gig and he sang lead vocals for all the songs that I was supposed to lead. 🙄
The rest of the band were so disgusted with his behaviour that when we came off stage a couple of them told him they were leaving the band - then the rest of us joined them and that was the last gig the band ever played.
There is absolutely no way he would have done that to any of the men in band. There was one other woman in the band, a violinist who was a cut above the rest of us and played in several other bands. He would not have dared do it to her, both because of her standing musically and because the men in her other bands would have beat the living daylights out of him.
Just little me though, the least experienced member of that band, he felt confident he could use violence to take out his anger on me and at the same time assert his dominance as "leader", claiming part of the stage and the mic as "his" territory and stealing my songs.
What was this thug's day job, did you say?
Qualified Mental Health Nurse. 🤦♀️
I have remembered another one, going back to the first band, when I was basically treated as the Roadie after one practice session.
The two guitarists sauntered off saying they were going to the pub, leaving me with a van load of gear to transport home, unload and keep at mine overnight.
I didn't do it. I made them come back. But they would have got away with it if I had let them. Again, they would not have dared try that on with the male drummer or accordionist.
Cheeky twats!