Should a 6 year old be taught that it’s normal to be trans, in a PSHE lesson?

[cloverdance]

Hi everyone,

I’d appreciate views and any knowledge on this. My husband came downstairs this morning really perturbed and upset that our 6 year old daughter had said that she’d been taught a book in PSHE- something about ‘My Brother’s Now My Sister’ and told him that a TA leading the lesson had said that it is normal to be trans. She told him she now wants to be a boy.
I don’t actually think she is gender confused at all, more that this suggestion has been made and the idea has been put into her head.
I’ve done a bit of research and there is a 2024 government doc that suggests that this level of detail should be saved for secondary school. I’m not sure if this is still the case.
DH is adamant he wants to go down to school and challenge the teaching of this. The school are a Rainbow Flag school and are very much inclusive. To be clear, we like this about the school and we are not homophobic- happy for children to be taught that love looks different for different families etc. However, we are both not happy that this level of detail has been used, including the word ‘trans’ at age 6 and in year 1 and that transitioning is a normal thing to do.

DH is a secondary school teacher so has to be careful in airing this view. My view is that biological men shouldn’t be in female only spaces.

Does anyone have any advice what we should/can say to school. We don’t want her being taught this at such a young age.

@cariadlet thank you for those really helpful links and info.

I’ve not tried to find the book yet but it would be easy enough to ask to see it, I suppose. The trans themed book link was really interesting.

@ListenToAlfDubs I’m not actually bothered if a boy chooses to wear a skirt. It was to demonstrate that the school is very open to inclusion. More so than other primaries, I think.

Maybe this @cariadlethttps://amzn.eu/d/0bDOb2c3

The school shouldn't be teaching gender identity as a fact, let alone teaching it in KS1. Parents should be informed what is going to be taught in PHSE and RSE and should be able to see the teaching materials if asked before lessons are taught.

But if it's has a Rainbow Flag Award then there are going to be activist members of staff and unfortunately, if the school is very tiny, that could include the Head.

PHSE Brighton was set up to support concerned Brighton parents (the trans toolkit used in Brighton is terrible) but has some useful resources on its website.
https://pshebrighton.org/

"Written for children aged four and older!"

FFS!

@cariadlet yep- it most certainly includes the head. It makes me very concerned about the contents of their library.

Yes, write in and ask for a meeting and to see resources, including this book.

The faux naivety suggested by a previous poster is a good approach, at least to start with. But do read up so that you know your stuff.

I recommend a convo with Grok (AI) to help you prepare for the meeting - and possibly to help word the initial email.

This is worth a read

https://sex-matters.org/practical-help/school-check/

Thanks @Leafstamp good idea. Im
a people pleaser and don’t want them to think we are horrible people but we can’t have this. I like the faux naivety idea.

You would think not but If you read through the thread about the draught Conversion Therapy Bill there is a part talking about what an offence would be where it uses the words “cause” someone “to have” or “not have” …

It us all probably a total mess though.

Here is the thread.
www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5546684-draft-conversion-practices-bill-published

@cloverdance here it is.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5546684-draft-conversion-practices-bill-published

Thank you so much @ScrollingLeaves

I personally dont see any issue with them saying boys can wear skirts - clothing choices do not define your sex. A boy wearing a skirt does not make them a girl. If people were less rigid about stereotyping boys and girls via what they wear and the toys they are given (everything pink for little girls!) i suspect we'd have less of the trans contagion.

However i think its completely inappropriate to be teaching a lesson to 6 year olds about the notion you can change sex (you cannot) and this is definitely not what the national curriculum would cover at this age.

Not ok and I would challenge the school. 6 is too young to be exposed to that, it's asking for trouble and I'd also explain to my child that what they've been told is wrong.

Definitely speak to the school.

Unfortunately, having the attitude of 'we're not homophobic'. You sound defensive and too bothered about something irrelevant, which is what trans activists are trying to achieve.

At the end of the day, your child is being taught something untrue that could damage their life. Your duty is to make sure this is stopped.

Er, no, we really should not be telling boys to wear girls' clothes such as skirts.

We should tell them it doesn't mean they are girls if they wear them, but, like women's changing rooms, they're for girls.

If a boy likes playing with a doll then fine. But wearing girls' clothes is more than likely normalising a sexual cross-dressing pathway.

Lots of good advice OP.
What will now help parents is that after numerous scandals, the government have belatedly decided to safeguard children from being taught that it's a fact that everyone has a gender identity, with schools finally being required to ensure what's taught in SRHE is factual and age appropriate. Schools are required to consult with parents about materials and resources - so the materials / speakers from the trans lobby groups will breach a school's requirement to be politically neutral.

Parents will have to double check the resources and groups that schools are using to ensure that activists teachers aren't ignoring the statutory advice and guidance in the Relationships / sex ed guidelines (linked upthread and below)

The new Keeping Children Safe in Education statutory safeguarding guidelines quite rightly place children confused about their sex as a safeguarding issue. They reinforce the law about single sex undressing, toilets etc. The final version hasn't been published but the draft certainly took a more responsible attitude to privacy and safety and again will help roll back the extremes. As a governor KCSIE should be of use to you in ensuring that children aren't being gaslit by these extreme views about sex change.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/6970e7e67e827090d02d42e0/Relationships_education_relationships_and_sex_education__RSE__and_health_education__for_intro_1_September_2026_.pdf

Clothes are just clothes there arent 'boys clothes' and 'girls clothes' i mean come on the vast majority of clothing we wear is gender neutral, trousers, tshirts etc.

Once upon a time trousers were for men only, and boys wore dresses uo to a certain age. Clothing /fashions change its all a lot of nonsense. Cross dressing is a different thing entirely.

https://pshe-association.org.uk/guidance/ks1-5/programme-of-study
This is the framework that schools should be following

I know the head will make out that we are bigoted and not inclusive…

Well that's just tough. She/he has a responsibility to teach the truth to children ... let them think you are bigoted .... what does it matter?

When I was a school governor we were shown the PHSE materials and had the chance to debate them before they were presented to the children.

Put aside your fear of criticism, agenda it for governors and quote the statutory guidance.

The world has gone bloody mad!

Thank you for these additional docs. I’ve just read the framework and it’s clear that the TA has gone totally mad @Kbcdtyijgd

I’m going to have a talk to our daughter later and show her the book covers, try to work out which book it was and teach her the truth.

Does your daughter like picture books? I'd counter with My Body is Me by Rachel Rooney. I'd also donate a copy to your school library ( if they don't have one😬😉)

@cloverdance Your daughter's lucky because she mentioned the story to you which gave you the opportunity to tell her the truth.

But there will be other parents in the class who don't realise what nonsense their child has been taught and other children who are likely to be confused and may believe what the TA told them (children this age tend to believe what adults tell them, especially adults at school).

I think that's why it's so good that you came on here and posters have shared helpful resources and why it's so important that you do arrange for a meeting with the Head.