Should a 6 year old be taught that it’s normal to be trans, in a PSHE lesson?

[cloverdance]

Hi everyone,

I’d appreciate views and any knowledge on this. My husband came downstairs this morning really perturbed and upset that our 6 year old daughter had said that she’d been taught a book in PSHE- something about ‘My Brother’s Now My Sister’ and told him that a TA leading the lesson had said that it is normal to be trans. She told him she now wants to be a boy.
I don’t actually think she is gender confused at all, more that this suggestion has been made and the idea has been put into her head.
I’ve done a bit of research and there is a 2024 government doc that suggests that this level of detail should be saved for secondary school. I’m not sure if this is still the case.
DH is adamant he wants to go down to school and challenge the teaching of this. The school are a Rainbow Flag school and are very much inclusive. To be clear, we like this about the school and we are not homophobic- happy for children to be taught that love looks different for different families etc. However, we are both not happy that this level of detail has been used, including the word ‘trans’ at age 6 and in year 1 and that transitioning is a normal thing to do.

DH is a secondary school teacher so has to be careful in airing this view. My view is that biological men shouldn’t be in female only spaces.

Does anyone have any advice what we should/can say to school. We don’t want her being taught this at such a young age.

I would not be happy about this.

And if you don't get a sensible response from the governors, go to the education authority or MAT, asking for their policy on protecting small children from disputed trans ideology, in writing.

Then go to your solicitor.

I am so glad my ds has finished school, and knows this claptrap for what it is.

I would approach this with the H/T as a Parent Governor. You are concerned that the school which you are jointly responsible for is not following the DfE policy. You know this because your daughter told you about the books that the TA had been reading with the class recently. If you don't get the response you are looking for, approach the Chair of Govs and, if necessary, the MAT/LA/OFSTED.

@Thatcannotberight brilliant! Thank you! I have bought a copy.

OMG!

I thought love is love was about sexuality, not gender. I could be wrong!

@Meadowfinch what could a solicitor do? I think school will say they’ve done nothing wrong.

my husband wants us to go down to school together tomorrow and ask for an urgent meeting. I thought I might write a letter tonight as well so I’ve got it all down. I might pop it here for people’s thoughts if anyone minds giving it a read?

I think your husband’s suggestion is totally fair, school need to know that they have gone badly astray here.

I second a face to face tomorrow. I much prefer to see the whites of their eyes rather than a waffling email. Friendly ambush is often better. I'd even wait in Reception if HT is 'in a meeting '.
You can always send an email after the meeting, summarising what was discussed, if you want a paper trail.

Hi,

I'm the mum of a trans boy. If someone isn't serious about transition, then life and school is hell.

There's a huge difference between actually wanting to change gender, cosplaying being a boy and simply wanting the freedoms cis boys have.

Actual transitioning - though essentially a new name and haircut for the vast majority - is a serious step involving a lot of school planning, and preparation for the violence involved. No one does it if they aren't serious.

I'd talk to her about this difference, make sure she knows how incredible girls are, and then just let it go. Never too early to drill them on feminism, how awesome women are and the rest.

Declaring a gender change at school and among a friendship group is a major deal, because both cis boys and girls punish it. It's more dangerous to be trans than gay at school.

No book can teach being trans, just acceptance. Talk to her!

It's vastly unlikely she is trans, but tread carefully just in case she is. Condemning trans people may stop her talking to you on this subject forever.

Hope you have fun discussing how amazing girls are. Maybe add that trans people are too and that's okay. She will think you're amazing too, and learn a lot.

I think that is absolutely outrageous OP and I would be straight down the school.
They’re 6, for heavens sake. No need whatsoever to be confusing them like this. I cannot stand the trans lobby - they are just loud entitled sexist men.

That said, there is a National Curriculum so someone will be able to tell you whether this is expected at this age or not.

Our secondary school recently shared DfE guidance on trans teaching which is not to suggest that changing sex is a straightforward or easy option.

I think it’s similar to self harm - teach it and because they know about it as an option they are more likely to experiment with it as children. My daughter thank goodness said she wasn’t going to self harm again because it didn’t help. Had she not received teaching about it aged 10 I’m quite certain it wouldn’t have entered her head.

Wouldn’t it be great if schools spent the timetable time teaching foreign language to a higher level or history rather than this stuff?

Thank you for this view @TransParentlyAnnoyed we’ve always talked openly to her about accepting differences and we are always talking to her about how brilliant girls are and how they can do anything. We would never condemn or reject her for any choice she makes. Im also aware that actual transitioning and true gender dysphoria is rare - I just don’t think that it should be taught in this way at 6. I suppose I find it frightening that the suggestion be put into her head before she has the capabilities to really understand it and the weight of it.

Ya, I don't blame you. It does feel unnecessary to teach it so young. I'm not particularly anti trans, each to their own but It seems a bit unnecessary for that age. Only around 1 percent of the population is trans too. Hi lighting other minorities instead could be more beneficial for that age, like children with asthma etc.