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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking Pub: Infinite Cocktails, Questionable Logistics

1000 replies

MyrtleLion · 16/05/2026 19:56

Welcome to the nth iteration of the Bluestocking women’s pub, where gerbils are staff, the drinks are free, and alcohol has no effect except to get you to the sweet spot just before the drink you really shouldn’t have had.

Men can go to the Staunch Ally next door.

It’s OK if you don’t understand. Just assume everything is normal.

Previous thread is here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5523989-bluestocking-womens-pub-its-maytime

The Bluestocking Pub: Infinite Cocktails, Questionable Logistics
OP posts:
Thread gallery
158
EdithStourton · 24/05/2026 18:28

High up in the rigging Batshit ricocheted briefly off something nautical.
“That,” said Hedgehog, “does not sound under control.”
“It rarely is,” said Angle.
😂😂😂

Powered flight is an absolute NO for Batshit. She can barely control her own feet (witness her ricocheting off various things, skidding over etc - see threads passim).
I love hot weather, but my skin isn't the biggest fan.

I've taken the helm for a while to give Swashy a break. And told Batshit to sit the F down and stop being herself for five minutes. I rather like the sword that was provided out of the galleon's stores, though I'd feel a bit safer if it was in a scabbard.

The Bluestocking Pub: Infinite Cocktails, Questionable Logistics
Magpiecomplex · 24/05/2026 18:28

Factor 50 means my base colour stays pale, but my freckles darken regardless. Does stop the UV allergy though, which is handy.

Magpiecomplex · 24/05/2026 18:29

EdithStourton · 24/05/2026 18:28

High up in the rigging Batshit ricocheted briefly off something nautical.
“That,” said Hedgehog, “does not sound under control.”
“It rarely is,” said Angle.
😂😂😂

Powered flight is an absolute NO for Batshit. She can barely control her own feet (witness her ricocheting off various things, skidding over etc - see threads passim).
I love hot weather, but my skin isn't the biggest fan.

I've taken the helm for a while to give Swashy a break. And told Batshit to sit the F down and stop being herself for five minutes. I rather like the sword that was provided out of the galleon's stores, though I'd feel a bit safer if it was in a scabbard.

You look badass, Edith!

AngleofRepose · 24/05/2026 18:31

Magpiecomplex · 24/05/2026 18:28

Factor 50 means my base colour stays pale, but my freckles darken regardless. Does stop the UV allergy though, which is handy.

I would have thought that factor 50 would protect better than that...good thing there are sunhats!

ps, is it the sunblock that gives your feathers than pretty blue sheen?

AngleofRepose · 24/05/2026 18:32

I want my own galleon now 😎

FuzzyPuffling · 24/05/2026 18:37

Apres sun ...

The Bluestocking Pub: Infinite Cocktails, Questionable Logistics
Magpiecomplex · 24/05/2026 18:40

AngleofRepose · 24/05/2026 18:31

I would have thought that factor 50 would protect better than that...good thing there are sunhats!

ps, is it the sunblock that gives your feathers than pretty blue sheen?

Edited

Well, I could tell you, but I'm not prepared to give up my secrets that easily... 😂

I can burn (and have) in 15 minutes at Hadrian's Wall. I'm basically always either covered in clothes or covered in suncream.

ErrolTheDragon · 24/05/2026 18:43

Ah, so you have a Neapolitan tan, Fuzzy?😂

I’m fair, use F50 on my face year round. Arms and legs do tan a little if they get gentle exposure.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/05/2026 18:46

I have olive skin and tolerate the sun well, but today I am feeling hot and ache-y and sorry for myself - I’m just hoping it’s just because it’s a warm day, and I’m not sickening for something.

I will be over there, on a chaise longue, with a cool flannel on my brow.

ErrolTheDragon · 24/05/2026 18:48

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/05/2026 18:46

I have olive skin and tolerate the sun well, but today I am feeling hot and ache-y and sorry for myself - I’m just hoping it’s just because it’s a warm day, and I’m not sickening for something.

I will be over there, on a chaise longue, with a cool flannel on my brow.

I’m sure we can find a gerbil or three to fan you.

ErrolTheDragon · 24/05/2026 18:50

I’ve got back from 2 weeks holiday this evening - need to go and water the upstairs houseplants and check pots etc outside. I think there’s been some rain and it’s lowish 20s hot here so I’m hoping they’re ok

AngleofRepose · 24/05/2026 18:53

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/05/2026 18:27

I’m not keen on sunbathing either, I went for a walk first thing before it got really hot & then spent most of the day dozing in the shade. Given what work’s going to be like for some time to come, having 3 days of doing more or less nothing is a godsend.

Yes, I don't like to be cold, but humid, hot weather is not for me! There won't be much of a breeze here tomorrow or Tuesday, so I'm staying inside, in the cool part of the house, like Boily.

(I do quite like summer in some parts of New Mexico, Santa Fe, for instance - 100F but mountains and dry, not humid)

JanesLittleGirl · 24/05/2026 18:53

Another one with classic Celtic colouring (thanks Granny). I have white freckly skin and I burn very easily without SPF50. I have to wait until I've sprouted lots of new freckles and they have all joined up before I'm safe. As this rarely happens I have to cover up and stay clarted in cream. Happily, I love long dresses and big floppy hats.

AngleofRepose · 24/05/2026 18:53

FuzzyPuffling · 24/05/2026 18:37

Apres sun ...

😁Hilarious!

MarieDeGournay · 24/05/2026 19:14

I seem to be a bit of a mixture - I tan a tiny bit, don't burn easily, can look quite a healthy colour when I've had a bit of sun on my face, but I've never liked sunbathing, and from my time in the south of France, I think of the hot sun as something to be avoided, the shutters closed all day to keep the heat out etc.

Like Boily I retreat to the coolest part of the house until the evening.

My French friends always made sure I wore a hat when I went out in the sun, but that seems pathetically useless in retrospect🙄 - factor anything was unheard of.
I've had one skin scare which turned out to be OK and another which involved removal of a small area, so I'm a bit concerned that all that wonderful French sunshine may come back to bite me, and keep a close eye ...

You've no idea the volcano of envy and resentment you unleashed by saying your legs tan, Angle Grin
Legs that stay resolutely white is one of the curses of being Celtic. Even if the rest of you gets a bit tanned - legs? white as the driven snow😡

MarieDeGournay · 24/05/2026 19:23

You look like a natural, Edith! Stepping straight from the flat inlands to confidently take the helm of a pirate galleon without hesitation is an impressive achievement.

Getting Batshit to sit still and look every inch the sensible, wise, obedient canine companion of a hardened pirate is pretty impressive too😄

I think she's a bit worried about any sudden movement sans scabbard ...😬

AngleofRepose · 24/05/2026 19:29

MarieDeGournay · 24/05/2026 19:14

I seem to be a bit of a mixture - I tan a tiny bit, don't burn easily, can look quite a healthy colour when I've had a bit of sun on my face, but I've never liked sunbathing, and from my time in the south of France, I think of the hot sun as something to be avoided, the shutters closed all day to keep the heat out etc.

Like Boily I retreat to the coolest part of the house until the evening.

My French friends always made sure I wore a hat when I went out in the sun, but that seems pathetically useless in retrospect🙄 - factor anything was unheard of.
I've had one skin scare which turned out to be OK and another which involved removal of a small area, so I'm a bit concerned that all that wonderful French sunshine may come back to bite me, and keep a close eye ...

You've no idea the volcano of envy and resentment you unleashed by saying your legs tan, Angle Grin
Legs that stay resolutely white is one of the curses of being Celtic. Even if the rest of you gets a bit tanned - legs? white as the driven snow😡

It's not intentional, I just cannot deal with overheating so cannot wear trousers or jeans until it's 14C out or lower, if it's sunny, so my legs are just out constantly until October. This is a fairly recent thing, the past 5 or 6 years, which makes no sense since I have been post menopausal for almost 20 years. I have a few skirts, but then I look like I'm dressing up to go out, when I'm just going to the shop.

The tan on my legs almost makes up for 25 years of chicken pox and poison ivy scars! I was/am a magnet for poison ivy, poison oak, and poison sumac. Chickadee will know what I mean. I blow up like a balloon!

AuntieMsDamsonCrumble · 24/05/2026 19:36

My mother had red hair. I inherited the very pale skin tone but just got mousey hair. There's no justice in life😕

I've been out for most of the day. Now sitting in my garden listening to the Queen tribute band that's playing an open-air concert in our local country house/parkland. I can't usually hear the concerts, but the atmospherics must be right tonight - and the amps are turned up high! Good thing I like Queen😁

AngleofRepose · 24/05/2026 19:41

Damson, I read "Queen tribute band" and pictured the late monarch with her crown on, surrounded by the Black Dyke Band... then I realized what you meant!
😄

(maybe I did get a little too much sun)

Lucky you to hear it from your garden!

AuntieMsDamsonCrumble · 24/05/2026 19:44

AngleofRepose · 24/05/2026 19:41

Damson, I read "Queen tribute band" and pictured the late monarch with her crown on, surrounded by the Black Dyke Band... then I realized what you meant!
😄

(maybe I did get a little too much sun)

Lucky you to hear it from your garden!

Grin

I want to break freee!

AngleofRepose · 24/05/2026 19:49

Marie, I know what you mean about that little bit of a worry about all that time spent in the sun before we knew what sunblock was... As I get older, I am starting to notice the sun damage, but I just try to keep an eye on things for any changes. ☀

WearyAuldWumman · 24/05/2026 19:53

AngleofRepose · 24/05/2026 19:49

Marie, I know what you mean about that little bit of a worry about all that time spent in the sun before we knew what sunblock was... As I get older, I am starting to notice the sun damage, but I just try to keep an eye on things for any changes. ☀

In my case, the problem is compounded by the fact that I was one of the poor deprived souls stuck in front of a sun lamp at Blamey Clinic once a week in the early '60s.

We must have been amongst the last involved in that fad - it was supposed to sort out Vitamin D deficiency in deprived areas. At least we were given goggles, I suppose.

MyrtleLion · 24/05/2026 20:15

Drake’s Island

In which the Box of Distractions is opened...

One moment there was only black water. The next Drake’s Island emerged from the dark.

@Swashbuckled brought the galleon in far closer to the cliffs than anybody except the capybaras wanted. Ahead, barely visible in the dark, old algae-covered stairs ascended from the sea.

“Too exposed,” said Octavia.

How exactly are we getting ashore then?” said @AngleofRepose. “Because those steps look fatal.”

@Thehorticulturalhussie peered upward. “There’ll be another access point. But we'll need ropes.”

From just above the crow's nest, a grappling hook suddenly whipped through the darkness and caught neatly around an upper section of ruined parapet.

Everybody looked up.

Barely visible against the stars, a figure in a waxed coat and riding breeches was sitting comfortably in the rigging with a longbow across her knees while Batshit quivered beside her with excitement.

Hedgehog stared upwards. “Oh for heaven’s sake.”

The archer adjusted the rope slightly. “Hussie, we’re going in above the embrasures.”

Batshit barked ecstatically into the darkness below.

“You brought a toxophilist?” said Octavia.

“I brought @AuntieMsDamsonCrumble,” said Swashbuckled. “The toxophily was included at no extra charge.”

Nobody asked how long AuntieDamsonCrumble had been aboard. Nobody genuinely wanted the answer.

“The Kettlewell incident,” murmured Hedgehog darkly.

Nobody elaborated. Somewhere below deck the Box of Distractions gave another ominous thump.

AuntieDamsonCrumble swung lightly out from the rigging and caught the rope with both hands. For one alarming moment she was hanging completely over black water between ship and cliff. Then she hooked one leg over the line and began pulling herself across it through the darkness.

“Well,” said Angle faintly. “That’s one way in.”

Hussie shoved the leather roll of lock picks through her belt, seized the rope and followed after her.

Above the sea, the two figures moved steadily towards the ruined parapet hand over hand, boots and knees gripping the taut line whenever it shifted beneath them.

Batshit was beside herself.

Minutes passed. Then, high above the water, a torch flashed twice and vanished.
A short time later Octavia and @EdithStourton pulled the boat alongside the narrow landing beneath the stone arch, while Brains jumped ashore and began staring suspiciously into the darkness.

“I must admit,” said Hedgehog as Octavia looped the line once around the iron ring, took a second turn to absorb the strain, then finished it with two quick half hitches pulled tight, “I had assumed you merely owned shipping.”

“I may once have worked as a deckhand out of Rio,” said Octavia.

Angle clutched the Box of Distractions and stepped out of the boat.

AuntieDamsonCrumble and Hussie were waiting above the waterline beside a narrow opening in the rock.

“We’ve got a way in,” said Hussie and she squeezed through the gap.

Suddenly wide tunnels opened out beneath the island. Inside, boxes were stacked everywhere.

Fuel drums.
Coils of rope.
Temporary worktables scattered with shipping labels and paperwork.

“This is not abandoned,” murmured Hedgehog.

Brains surged ahead of them, claws skittering sharply across the concrete floor, then stopped dead beside a heavy steel door. Hussie grabbed the handle.

The room beyond was brightly lit and stacked almost to the ceiling with packing crates. Packing ice was melting slowly across the concrete floor. The smell hit them instantly.

Calamari.

“Kevin,” said Angle faintly.

A handful of sunflower seeds lay scattered in the doorway. Beneath one crate, part of a torn seed packet showed traces of gold leaf lettering:
Vesp—
G—
Mon—
Hel—

Vesper Gold Monastery Helianthus,” said Hedgehog, “the most expensive black sunflower seeds known to gerbils…”

The Box of Distractions shifted violently in Angle’s arms.

Brains barked sharply and spun away from the calamari store entirely, disappearing into a side corridor that led deeper under the island.

The corridor narrowed sharply as it descended. At the end of the passage stood another steel door. This one had a bolt across the outside.

Brains was already scratching furiously at the bottom of it.

From behind the door came Gosie’s unmistakable voice, “Brains?”

“Oh thank goodness,” said Edith.

“Stand back,” said Hussie. The bolt screeched loudly as she dragged it sideways. Too loudly. Somewhere deeper inside the tunnels a door slammed and heavy footsteps could be heard running towards them.

Everybody froze.

Another shout echoed through the corridors. The footsteps sounded closer.

Angle looked down at the violently trembling Box of Distractions. “I think the time is now,” she said, and she opened the lid, stepping backwards very quickly.

For one terrible moment nothing happened. Then dozens of half-awake gerbils exploded out into the tunnels like champagne corks.

One gerbil vanished immediately into the darkness carrying a radio twice her own size. Another disappeared up a cable duct. Still another hurled sunflower seeds directly into the air.

They heard crashing, swearing, running feet, and industrial machinery starting unexpectedly. A siren began rotating uselessly somewhere underground.

Somewhere nearby a man yelled, “WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THEM?"

Tiny voices shrieked through the darkness.
“THIS WAY!”
“NO, THIS WAY!”
“VIVE LA RÉVOLUTION!”

Then a gerbil triumphantly screamed, “I FOUND A LEVER!”

Everything went black.

The steel door burst open.

Gosie stared at all of them for one completely stunned second. Then at the chaos behind them. Then at the gerbils stampeding through the tunnels carrying string, cutlery, sunflower seeds and at least one clipboard.

Octavia seized Gosie’s paw.

“Run.”

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/drakes-island

The Bluestocking Pub: Infinite Cocktails, Questionable Logistics
The Bluestocking Pub: Infinite Cocktails, Questionable Logistics
OP posts:
EdithStourton · 24/05/2026 20:20

I have no Celtic blood, but I was once, by an elderly Irishwoman, accused of 'looking Irish'. She was very cross when I said I wasn't.

I'm currently (when not helming the galleon and keeping an eye on Batshit) reading a book that is so bad that it's funny. Englishmen c1940 striding around going 'Splendid!' and 'Rather!' It predates AI so the author has to take full blame for his terrible dialogue and hazy chronology. It's based on real events, with lots and lots and LOTS of added drama, the compulsory love interest, and characters drawn with crayons.
3/10, would not recommend.

EdithStourton · 24/05/2026 20:26

Love the update.
Some of those gerbils have a strong Reepicheep vibe to them.

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