Bluestocking Women's Pub - cheapest bar on the internet.

[EdithStourton]

The thread in which Gosie's mysterious adventures will continue. All women welcome to join us for a virtual tipple, fun, support and arcane knowledge. And tractors.

Welcome, Otter! I am relatively new here as well, but think I have found my people 😊

"Is there gin?" she asks! (oh, she has NO idea... is it Glenda? definitely not Maud)

Bad Beetle - No Snowballs!

sorry, grovelling apologies to all the good beetles out there

I have tried to grow those snowball viburnums twice and ended up with the wild type with berries. Which are beautiful too, but oh, those green balls.

The wild cherry trees far too close to my windows are full of blossom and birds there days - blackbirds, a blackcap, very busy starlings who are about to escort a family away from the nest. Loveliest time of year. Pity it's still so perishing cold.

The wild cherry trees further from the house are full of the buzz of pollinators.

Oh, so it was Gosie who I saw having lunch at the seafood shack on the pier. She does know where to get the best lunch, doesn't she?

I once made some very tasty wild cherry gin. Recommended.

Crikey!. I go out for an evening and the thread runs away from me again!

So sorry you've had another disappointment on the job front Myrtle. I agree with others that this could be a combination of AI sifting applicants and less than competent males being scared of a clearly capable woman.

I also agree with Beetle that it could be time to consider a reset. I'm not sure what your precise area of work is, but you clearly have excellent organisational skills and I wondered whether these could be used on a freelance basis i.e. using your skills to help businesses develop and improve, without them needing to employ someone on a full-time basis.

I had a similar reset twenty-odd years ago. After working as a professionally qualified HR manager in a large government department for most of my working life until then (in the days when HR was a real job!) I was in a senior role managing a large restructuring project. My area of specialism would change significantly after the restructure with the scope being much narrower so I took an unexpected (and slightly scary) opportunity to use my professional skills in a different career direction. It enabled me to work from home on a contractual basis, while having plenty of opportunity for work-related travel. I really loved that work and continued after normal retirement age on a flexible, part-time basis, until I decided during Covid that it would be a good time to finish.

This sort of thing may not be practical in your field Myrtle, but it's always worth thinking laterally and trying to look at disappointment as an potential opportunity.

btw - loving Gosie's travels. There's a girl who knows how to get the best from life!

Do you serve black coffee, and allow dogs in?

The gerbils can provide any variety or style of coffee.

All dogs must be female (except Colin, who slipped in many threads ago and has quite won us over). They also need to get on with Brains and Batshit who are currently hogging the biggest patch of sunshine by the south-east facing window. Getting on with Batshit isn't a problem, she's very sweet but not very bright, and Brains will be fine with any new dog so long as she Gets with the Programme, and accepts Brains as the Canine Queen of the Bluey.

ETA, Patrons' male dogs can trot along to the Staunch Ally down the road, where the kitchen staff are famous for slipping them chunks of steak.

Awesome!! Margo is staunchly female and will happily see off any errant males who try to broach the threshold.
(but watch her, she can be bribed with cocktail sausages)
May I have a black coffee please?

Margo will defer naturally to the resident pooches.

Coffee and sausages for table 4.

BRAINS! NO!
Those were NOT your sausages.

Er, more sausages for Table 4, please.

@EdithStourton, I know I can’t buy you a drink in here for your excellent work on the TRA thread, but I am going to reserve you the comfiest chair in the crochet corner, with a footstool & a side table.

Welcome to the Bluestocking @Dextersgoneovertherainbowbridge

I think Germoleen needs to re-do the health and safety module Beetle given the way she's holding that cup.

Those sausages look good. Could I have a couple in a bun please gerbils, plus a large flat white coffee.

Hello and welcome Dextersgoneovertherainbowbridge - henceforth 'Dex' if that's OK and Margo.

The origin of many of the interesting characters in the Bluestocking is usernames brought to life by AI - mooses [I don't care, spellchecker, I like 'mooses'!], beetles, androids, birds, dragons, lionesses etc etc. And we've recently welcomed an otter into our midst.

Or, if you were pretentious enough to take the name of a 16th-17th Century French philosopher and feminist as your username, you get to look prim in feckin' frocks🙄

I don't know what AI would make of Dextersgoneovertherainbowbridge, I think it would all come down to how it imagined 'Dexter' to be.
Any ideas?

I think you've got the hang of the basics already: any food or drink you want will be supplied in any quantity you wish - vats of hot chocolate, swimming pool size G&Ts are entirely do-able here - and will be served by a team of efficient and very very cute gerbils.

Enjoy your coffee, Galinda will pop over ever now and then and say 'Can I top you up there, Dex? and Margo can eat all the cocktail sausages she has ever dreamed of, without getting sick - the Bluey food magic works for dogs as well
sorry - thank you Damson, I stand corrected - it will be Germoleen not Galinda keeping you topped up, Dex, and she'll hold the mug correctly the next time.
Bluey gerbil paws are completely sterile, of course, but nonetheless, we like to do things come-il-faut, n'est-ce-pas?

Well, yes. Thank you. And the Walrus has pointed out that I've just completed a comprehensive PIP application for DSD, which has taken a lot of administrative organisation.

It's also been about managing her emotions. PIP is about what she can't do, and we're trying to focus on on what she can do. And we've discovered that there is a lot more she can't do than we thought. All the reasons why she takes long showers, spends too much money and can't cook for herself. And she has got upset in explaining this to me.

I have done a lot and I've been through a lot with my ankle which is ongoing as well.as discovering my lymphoedema is worse than I realised - one kidney FFS.

I'm realising my self worth is not as tied up in work as it used to be. But we have a massive mortgage and we run out of money in about 10 months. So we may have to move from this wonderful forever home, and that in itself will take a lot of money.

And it is such a waste that I'm not in a job. If it was just another role I didn't get it would be easy to get over, but I feel really stuck now. It's like every approach I take is not working and I don't know where to look. My last job was perfect and I never expected to leave but I was forced out by someone who didn't like me.

It’s a good thing this is a pub not a coven else that individual would be so cursèd, Myrtle.

Belated welcome to Otter and ?Dexy. I l would guess that an AI might interpret the latters full name as a poignant picture of a dearly departed dog waiting patiently on the ‘bridge’.

I hesitate to offer 'advice' because I have neither the qualifications nor the full facts to do so - but it upsets me to see our dear MyrtleLion treated like this.
so I'm going to wade in anway:

Other posters have said things along the same line - have you thought of freelancing? It sounds like you have a huge store of experience and knowledge which is not being appreciated by would-be employers, but which may be very saleable in the open market.

When somebody mentioned a life coach, I thought - yes, Myrtle would be great at that! and then realised that they meant engaging a life coach, not being one!
The point it that my immediate reaction was that you have so much to offer which would-be employers are not seeing.

All the energy you are putting into trying to break down firmly and unfairly closed doors could possibly be directed into identifying a market and building up a 'product' - doing this at your own pace, in sync with your health issues.
I acknowledge that you need to get an income sharp-ish, but it wouldn't hurt to take some time out to at least look into freelancing, and, as other posters have said, getting professional advice about taking a new direction.

There, I've said it! It might be entirely useless and inappropriate in your circumstances, Myrtle, but I feel that it would be good if your skills and knowledge and expertise could find a different kind of outlet, which is more under your own control.

Thank you and everyone who has suggested freelancing. I have done that in the past. The difficulty is getting the work.

I probably have ADHD with a severe form of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. I'm waiting for a diagnosis. This means putting myself out there, whether to get a job or freelance work is constantly setting myself up for rejection. It is emotionally painful which is why I've been in floods of tears since yesterday.

I've always said I can do the business, I can run the business but I can't get the business. And freelance work is all about the hustle.

I am going to look at the civil service, if only for the amazing pension (28.7% contribution from the government every year) and see if there is something I can get there. Goodness knows they need people who can help solve their difficult problems.

I will look at Non-Executive Director work as well but again I would need a portfolio of positions to make up the salary I lost.

There are options still.

Thank you all for your support. This community of strange women strangers has been a lifeline.

And despite the diet, the Walrus gave me these today to thank me for sorting out DSD's PIP.

You're welcome Myrtle, and you know what's best for you, thank you for taking the ideas and suggestions in the spirit in which they are given
My granny had a great saying 'You know your own know'

• and no, my granny was not Donal Rumsfeld, though his 'known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns' sounded familiar to me when he said it😄

He was right, though. Which is probably why it is still remembered.

You are a wonderful lot, thank you xx

Are you good at navigating bureaucracy @MyrtleLion? That might be a source of freelance work, though admittedly unlikely to be a lucrative one.

Re snowball bushes discussion above - I have no idea what the Latin name is so it may not be the same variety but snowball bushes are very common around here. The blossoms start as green balls, turn white and finally in late August or September turn a beautiful dusky pink.

Welcome Otter and Dex :)

Myrtle am going to PM you.

Me and bureaucracy are best friends. I love it. And I'm very good at it. Not sure where I'd find work managing it for other companies oe people though.

Myrtle, you have had such a tough time, this year and last, both with the job hunting and your health. Your tanks must be pretty much empty - I know mine were by the end of 2025, which was a bloody awful year, and there's still not much in them now. I was told by someone who knows me rather too well to be kind to myself for a bit. This goes against the grain for me, but it is, to my surprise, helping.

So try to be kind to yourself: with any luck it will help you, too. You are an amazing step-mother, you have a lovely DH, and you have so much grit and determination. The wims of the Bluey are always here for you. 🐪🐫💐💐 and for luck🍀