Truly single-sex bra fittings for DD13

[Secretsquirrelshh]

Inspired by threads on here re: mixed sex fitting rooms, I need to find somewhere for DD13 (very shy, incredibly embarrassed by EVERYTHING) to have her first ever bra fitting.

M&S is obviously right out, and we don't have a lovely independent shop anywhere near us.

I see John Lewis no longer enforce single-sex changing spaces.

Does anyone have any recommendations of nationwide stores that do truly single-sex bra fittings?

I just want to reiterate that if you allow men in women's changing rooms, specifically underwear, who the hell do you think is going to take advantage of that??

Shaming you for trying to protect your daughter is tactic, OP.

The number reasons to keep men in your changing room is getting rather long!

Precisely! I’ve been making exactly the same point and been ridiculed and had sarcastic comments about hopefully I don’t have a daughter - I have daughters and they are older than the OP’s daughter and wear bras.

I have talked to them about sexual assault and harassment. They have not really experienced any (bar an occasional borderline comment). On the other hand, I had men exposing themselves to me on the way home from primary school and men in
cars stopping to make lewd suggestions while walking home from secondary school and while at university, I didn’t get any supervision on my final year project because my supervisor was a pervert so I didn’t want to be alone in a room with him. If my and my daughters anecdotal experiences are anything to go by (which obviously tbey may well not be) then things have improved for girls and young women.

I helped DD with this last year - not long after I had peaked and the news articles about TW bra fitters. So we decided simply to go to M&S shortly after opening on a Saturday morning and to pick up all/any bras she liked the look of in the small sizes - she did measure her chest with a tape at home so only had the cup size to check.

She tried on loads and found 1 in store that she liked & fitted. I told her the advice on fitting which I got from Bravissimo and R&P years ago and she was able to do it herself with me nearby/in cubicle looking the other way!

The biggest problem was actually that the in-store stock levels are dreadful. We ended up having to order online - this was a big London store with a huge lingerie section where you’d expect a good choice… so maybe don’t bother travelling a long way as you might be disappointed

Advice I was told and passed on:

1. measure fit the chest band on the end clasp so that as it loosens with age/washing you can move up a notch and keep it tight. Should be firm but no big bulges or gaps/slippage if you have the right size
2. adjust shoulder straps firm but not too tight
3. once on, put your hands in the cups and pull your boobs up and into the centre while slightly leaning forward - will show if you need full or half cup depending on how much top boob (or not) you have
4. the cup size changes with chest band so a 34D is a 32E - which you need to know if you’re near the cusp or vary between brands

ETA there were a few men on the sofa by the changing room but none in the CRs as far as we could tell. The cubicles have solid doors rather than curtains so it was fine - other shops in the same centre weren’t good - curtains and unisex changing with loads of blokes in/around the area. It was ok but I don’t like it after 2 men were arrested near us for filming in the CRs at the leisure centre and selling films of teen girls online… 🤮

But you can’t tell whether an online reviewer is male or female.

im glad your daughters are having a better experience than you or i. Unfortunately where we live my daughter isnt having a great time and there are a lot of creeps still around on the school commute. Given your history and knowing what it’s like then maybe cut the OP some slack?

When they’re talking about wanking into the knickers or whether there’s sufficient room for their cocks it rather gives the game away.

It wasn’t me who raised sexual assault as being a potential problem.

As for the dignity and privacy etc - a locked cubicle with your mum around is pretty good in that regard. A small independent shop would be even better but the OP is worried about the expense.

Stop being so genderist! You know youre supposed to say “lady dick” - you transphobe!

Fair point! Although do those reviews actually exist? If they do, are they actually genuine?it sounds more like a malicious joke.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3744943-make-fetishists-reviewing-m-s-knickers-hits-the-sun

I'd still pay the money and go somewhere posh.
After that you can order online. Hungerford has Angela Knight who fits the Princess of Wales I believe.

Yes i think it was 80 something % when I was working as a bra fitter years ago.

Measuring is only a basic guideline and doesn’t work a lot of the time.

Best thing is to get properly fitted for individual bras. But I get this can be difficult according to staffing and stock levels.

I once had a customer who came in for a bra fit after surgery and we had closed the bra fit service due to lack of staff. I just disobeyed my manager and fit her properly instead of counting all the clothes other customers were bringing into the changing rooms.

I’m sorry op i don’t know what to suggest as the unisex changing room wasn’t a thing when i worked as a bra fitter.

Having a cubicle instead of curtains doesn’t solve the problem either as the bra would normally open the door several times during the fitting to go out to look for bras and the customer shouldn’t have to put a top on every time the fitter leaves.

Seems fairly clear…

@dizzydizzydizzy

Dignity and privacy -

Cameras - put there by the man who used the cubicle before you or the man who is waiting next door until you have finished.

Cubicles aren't soundproof - someone recording from the next cubicle, or masturbating while your daughter is talking about her breasts. It may be enough for him just to know there is a semi-naked young girl the other side of the partition.

None of this may be happening. But it is awful that we even have to think that it might be, and that is another way in which men make our lives worse. There are good reasons why single-sex spaces for women and girls were created, and no good reasons why they should be destroyed because men want them to be.

And re your instant reaction to men masturbating into underwear as a likely joke. Listen to women - including the workers in eg M&S who have to handle items when the men hand them back.

Secretsquirrelshh, you’ve been very clear in all your posts.

It can be very embarrassing even being in a cubicle changing room when the bra fitter leaves to get some different styles/fit because she would be opening the door.

What attracted AidaP to post on this thread 🤔

This is why I wanted to do a bra fitting for her first appointment - to have a trained professional help her try on multiple options and explain why one is better than the other - so she can learn what she's looking for herself to try stuff on properly in the future, without necessarily needing to be professionally fitted each time.

But I do take the (frustrating) point that stock levels may be poor in smaller sizes.

Men (however they choose to present themselves) in changing rooms used by females present a risk to our comfort, dignity and safety. Anyone who hasn't read the Target study is ill informed and should read it in order to understand the risks.

We need and deserve single sex spaces.

There were other men spunking on the loo roll in the ladies toilets, and in case they didn't catch the women with that, they smeared it on the door knob 'just to be sure'.

And I'm honestly shocked at how many women appear not to grasp how many men out there would relish being a centimetre away from a topless 13 year old talking about her anatomy.

Legitimately and with the blessing of John Lewis and M&S.

@Secretsquirrelshh - can you get to a Rigby and Peller store (Knightsbridge, Bluewater, Edinburgh, I think)? Their fitters are excellent, and I would be very surprised if they had male fitters/staff.

Sufficient room for their hens?

Our M&S has 3 changing rooms by the underwear that says clearly female changing rooms for the lingerie dept, there’s then arrows to the other changing facilities which are gender neutral with lockable doors (kids and ladies share a floor so boys up to 12 always used those changing rooms, never seen an adult male in there). M&S also has a sign saying their bra fitters are all female XX.

M&S also has a sign saying their bra fitters are all female XX.

Are you adding kisses or does it actually say ‘female XX’?

Bio female or identify as such?

That sounds like a step in the right direction.

I wonder if the staff are taking it into their own hands.