Truly single-sex bra fittings for DD13

[Secretsquirrelshh]

Inspired by threads on here re: mixed sex fitting rooms, I need to find somewhere for DD13 (very shy, incredibly embarrassed by EVERYTHING) to have her first ever bra fitting.

M&S is obviously right out, and we don't have a lovely independent shop anywhere near us.

I see John Lewis no longer enforce single-sex changing spaces.

Does anyone have any recommendations of nationwide stores that do truly single-sex bra fittings?

A small specialist independent lingerie shop may be your best bet- if expensive- bet.

Where abouts in the uk are
you OP?

We are about 30 mins from Milton Keynes, an hour or so by train to London.

The nearest boutique someone kindly dug out for me is about 30 mins away, which is totally doable. But I'm a bit wary of crazy prices in an independent as she's very much still growing, so ideally don't want to spend £100 on bras every 6 months.

There is a lady near us she’s an independant I’ve not been (I’m an M&S girl myself) but I’ve known people go but she is very expensive nothing under £35-40 per bra type of thing!!

I guess it’s either somewhere like M&S or an independant
the independant lady near us does 1-2-1
appointments too which is very private.

my daughter is 10 but I’d just take her to M&S or measure her myself -
I don’t think I could justify that sort of money when they grow all the time!

Two possible ideas, both from experiences I had in the 2000s so no idea if still relevant to today's teens.

1. H&M used to do really pretty supersmall sized bras e.g. 26AA. Are there any of them near you? They wont do fitting, but at that size just getting something you are happy with is fine - can worry about learning fit when size settles down a bit more and she feels more confident

2. Anne Summers party at home. See if any of your local AS reps do bra fittings and can being a range of small sizes? Could invite her friends round and make an evening of it.

I promise I'm not being horrible but am genuinely chortling at the idea of throwing an Ann Summers party for my 13 year-old. Do they still make you test vibrators on your nose? Not entirely sure that's the vibe I'm hoping for. (I am being facetious and in case my tone comes across bitchy, it's just a really amusing image. Also looking forward to suggesting to all of DD's friends' parents that they send their girls round to our house for an Ann Summers Party. DD would never speak to me again!)

😂

H&M is a good shout for smaller sizes and we do have one locally, but I really would like to walk her through how a proper fitting works.

What about garden trampolines! Headphones! Anorexia! What about me being a lifeguard. Swimming pools!

Come on girls use your naked bodies to validate men, because life is risky anyway and you might as well just add to it.

Also garden trampolines. Really? That made me laugh out loud.

i've heard loads of reasons why women need to offer up their bodies to satisfy men's validation or fetishes, but garden trampolines takes the cake 🤣

Also, can any of the dissenters tell me what's in it for the girls?

Just one, single, solitary advantage for the women and girls in this situation?

It's all getting rather Monty Pythonish.
A moose once bit my sister.
Garden trampolines can be dangerous.

Unfortunately there seems no bottom to the depths that some people will go to to argue that women and girls MUST NOT have ANYTHING of their own that doesn't include men.

indeed! Ann Summers! 😅

You don’t need to trained to fit a bra!! FFS!! You need common sense. Does the band fit? Is it too tight or too loose?? Does the cup fit? Is it gappy or are the breasts popping out? That is it. Literally all there is too it. Oh and loosening the straps. Watch a YouTube video and stop being so obtuse. How have you made it to an adult with a 13 year old and never known if your bra fits you??!?!?!?

https://youtube.com/shorts/FiwQCqmIgsk?si=IVEmADPfL6DZvS_u

watch it go try on a bra.

I’m sure if you ask for a female They will comply. And she’ll be in a cubicle anyway. So I don’t see the issue.

Bravissimo put me into too-tight bands. Every single time.

The right way to fit a bra is to try it on, not measure. There is no need for a measuring tape.

It's not common sense at all. If it was, 70% of women wouldn't be in a badly-fitting bra.

absolutely she doesn't need a bra (do any of us?)

Yes, many of us do. I like being able to run without having to hold onto my boobs to stop them from hurting.

I dont see why you care. It's either a man presenting as a man or its a male presenting in female attire (a transwoman). Thats the clearest and quickest way to report what happened. A man dressed in man clothes and generally just being a man, or a man who is presenting as female (ie a transwoman). Why would you care exactly how they identify when you are talking about the incident other than making it clear for the listener?

That just shows lack of common sense.

They don’t even pretend any more, do they? They are now completely open about demanding the use of women.

I'm really not sure of your point?

Men, however they ''identify', or how you personally choose to describe them, have no place in female only facilities.

Most people reject the concept of a transwoman. 'Trans identified' man is more apt. A man is no kind of woman.

We care because experience and recent history shows us that once you start validating men as women the implications and demands escalate. And we also care because female people have dignity and a right to the privacy of their sex in certain types of circumstance,

I'm also trying to instill skills in DD that even when something is a bit embarrassing or awkward, you can still do it.
She's 13 .... everything is embarrassing! Just give her a break!
You have a political point to make and are using her as your tool ... stop it right now! Poor girl

To be fair a well fitting bra is a revelation.... certainly if you have been wearing the wrong size for years.

Someone asked why people aren't distinguishing between transwomen and men as if there is bo difference. I said the terms are used interchangeably here.

"Yet some people, claiming to dislike transphobia, insist that 'men' must be referring to trans women. If they can't distinguish between the two, it's a bit hypocritical to tell others to."

What does your daughter think and feel about the idea of a formal bra fitting? If she is open to the idea, then personally I'd just go to John Lewis. The bra fiiting rooms are separate to the changing rooms, and it will certainly be a woman who does the fitting. You'd immediately recognise if this was not the case......and in that circumstance then you would walk away.