Daughter in early 20s lonely due to GC views

[Currentquandry]

My daughter is in her early twenties. She is GC and is struggling because so few of her peers have similar opinions. She is very lonely because of this. Are there any online groups she could join to give her a sense of community? She is also ND. Thank you in advance for your advice…

What do you personally understand an 'ideology' to be. Can you explain for those that might not understand what the term means? Try to be succinct but clear, if possible.

If lots of her friends are nd then she is in the minority.
im nd and also work in the field, it is recognised and research strongly shows that often a disproportionate number of people who are nd are transgender or have gender diverse identities.
i thought i was the wrong gender as a child. I now know it’s in no small part because I’m nd and couldn’t work out why I didn’t fit anywhere . I didn’t know back then I was nd

Your entire extensive posting history, I assume it is an accurate representation of both your opinions and the amount of time you spend here. If not, do feel free to enlighten us as to who periodically takes over your account and posts on your behalf.

Wow, I have no idea why my reply to you was deleted. Someone was super sensitive about what was a pretty innocuous post IMO. Certainly no personal attacks or insults.

I'll try again.

I made two points originally. As I have no idea which one was considered delete-worthy I'll split the posts.

First point.

No, it doesn't clear it up. "TERF ideology" is to me just a TRA slogan that is used to silence women. You will have to be specific. What exactly are the beliefs you mean, assuming they are not the ones I laid out, and who exactly do you think holds them?

Second point.

@IggyPopsPlasticTrousers 's initial claim of not knowing much about this topic but finding both sides equally bad seems somewhat at odds with their later posts and especially the phrase "TERF ideology". I've been reading the thread in catchup mode not real time so perhaps this made the change in tone stand out more.

That's fine. I'm not a man though.

So no examples?

Everyone who disagrees with the GC status quo gets called a man on here, it's like a right of passage. It's deeply deeply inconvenient for the side that claims to speak for women to acknowledge quite how many women wish they'd give over and shut up and let us speak for ourselves.

Nope. Someone is free to feel sad that a woman is so unhappy/distressed with her physical self that she feels she needs to identify out of it. And that is without going into the reasons why females take on trans identities as opposed to the reasons that males do.

But that doesn’t mean that I personally don’t feel that adults cannot do whatever the fuck they want to themselves as long as they do not require anything from the rest of society.

Neither are mutually exclusive nor hyperbolic positions unlike the nonsense about “wishing trans people out existence” which absolutely hyperbolic.

Exactly
(Also not a man)

I never said I don't know much about this subject. I've read about it extensively for years, and discussed it many times with male and female friends, including trans friends.

And yes, I do think both sides have an ideology, that is blinding them to potential compromises or ways to move forward. At it's most succinct, you could sum it up as one side saying ' Trans women are women ' and the other side saying ' Trans women are men. '

Anyway, the roast lamb has been cooked and consumed ( and was delicious ) so I'd better be seeing to dessert.

Happy Easter to you all.

Happy easter iggy 🐥

Well, which is it? Or do you think there is some centre ground where transwomen are sometimes women?

Helen Joyce of Sex Matters called every trans person who exists "a huge problem for a sane world" and said "the fewer of those people there are, the better."

It's clear from a couple of comments on this thread now that while GCs may not wish individuals out of existence, they most certainly wish they weren't trans, which feels akin to the anti-gay "hate the sin, love the sinner" nonsense, which didn't really convince anyone either.

Again.

Female people exist.

Either the name "woman" is exclusively female, in which trans women are not women, or the name "woman" refers to some sort of mixed sex personality type, in which case trans women are women and we need a new word for female people because being female is still significant in some contexts.

What is not reasonable is this fudge where trans women are some sort of male woman based on their mind (which is sexist as fuck BTW) who we all have to pretend is no different to female people even though the basis on which thry claim to be a "woman" has nothing to do with our needs and challenges as female people.

The reasonable position between a big lie and the truth is not a smaller lie.

The reasonable position between having your whole house burgled and not having your house burgled at all is not just having the living room burgled.

This is not a "both sides as bad as each other" situation. This is one side wants to redefine womanhood as a type of mind, and in doing so remove any right to female-only support, language

This is why the reasonable way forward is not a fudge along the things of "some men are women some of the time, and other women just need to learn to share".

The reasonable way forward is to say "look, this thing you are labelling woman, objectively it isn't the same thing as what we've called a woman for, well, as long as humanity has had language really.

So let's get behind the language, understand what this bundle of thoughts and feelings and preferences that occurs in both sexes actually is, and then maybe we can build new social supports and structures and norms around it rather than trying to fit it into "woman" and doing terrible and unfair damage to the legal and social existence of the people who were already called "women".

I think the crime is vaguely 'talking too much' or in the wrong places or something. Not sure tbh

Nothing is clear! Just more vague accusations and slurs.

"And yes, I do think both sides have an ideology, that is blinding them to potential compromises or ways to move forward."

And yet, you won't explain what those compromises are when directly asked.

I think we can only surmise after you have ignored questions for about the third time as to what would be the solution for prisons and sport, that you actually don't know what those 'compromises' could be. Instead, just like the lazy 'both sides', you seem to now be just repeating an empty claim of 'compromises'.

While telling women who are saying that we have been offering 'compromises' for at least a decade now that they are the problem and that they are 'ideological'. At this stage, you telling women that they are 'ideological' seems very much like rank hypocrisy.

I will ask again though because I do actually want to know your thoughts.

Where should a male prisoner with a transgender identity be housed in prison?

Do you believe that the IOC has made an error with the current change in policy? What compromise do you think the IOC should be making for male athletes with a transgender identity?

You have actually taken Helen Joyce's words out of context there.

Im reading it as being recognisable you bad bunny

(easter theming)

It's interesting because that's something Black women often associate with White Feminism. Any time a Black woman would offer a challenging perspective or opinion, the unfamiliarity with the Black experience and the assumption that white women's experiences are universal would lead them to assume that the Black woman is male.

Cynically, I do think it was sometimes used to deny the femininity of Black women in a racist way, as in, they know it is a Black woman but rely on racist stereotypes of Black women as masculine as an attempt at a rebuttal.

But this has taught me that "you are an imposter" is just a general ploy used to try and discredit an opposing view by anyone who would otherwise be in a position to have a say on the matter.

"Don't listen to those "women" who disgree with us, they are probably men".

See I have to ask why you think that is important on this thread?

If "being trans" means everyone else has to believe you have changed sex, then yes, I wish people wouldn't be trans.
If it means children have to be sterilised and adults have to remove healthy body parts, then yes, I wish people wouldn't be trans.

If it means adults change their name and/or how they dress and I don't have to do anything except remember a new name (and neither the name nor the appearance are based on a fetish or an obsession with an ex) then go ahead, be trans. Knock yourself out.

Then by all means, share the full quote, because it really really doesn't change what she meant or make it look any better.

I'll also add a friendly reminder that Helen Joyce was caught reading Harry Potter-themed pornography between two underage characters on a train, not because it proves any point, but just because it's quite funny.