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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A UK forum is encouraging a desperate parent of a trans identified male to seek out DIY hormones, without consulting health care professionals, how is this dangerous advice legal?

1000 replies

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 17/03/2026 09:52

OP "If anyone could help me to understand, I would be extremely grateful. I just want my daughter to be alive and happy in her own skin as much as possible ."

Responses: "diy is reliable and safe, there are communities that will be able to help, and really all it is getting a blood test every now and then to check how low or high a couple numbers are and adjusting accordingly."

Full details here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/transgenderUK/comments/1rw0bac/please_help_parent_to_a_16_year_old/

How is this even slightly legal? The pro anorexia sites were shut down right? The pro suicide?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
unwashedanddazed · 18/03/2026 03:22

"I know I don't "pass" I haven't been concerned with such a thing since I was 17. "
Yet you've claimed elsewhere on these forums that your adopted children don't know that you're male. And that everyone in your life treats you as a woman because that is what they see. If you don't pass then everyone is treating you as a man dressed up as a woman. Nothing else.

onepostwonder · 18/03/2026 03:50

unwashedanddazed · 18/03/2026 03:22

"I know I don't "pass" I haven't been concerned with such a thing since I was 17. "
Yet you've claimed elsewhere on these forums that your adopted children don't know that you're male. And that everyone in your life treats you as a woman because that is what they see. If you don't pass then everyone is treating you as a man dressed up as a woman. Nothing else.

This is your belief. I'm not going to change it.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 18/03/2026 05:59

@onepostwonder I'm not going to wade into the discussion. But can I just say, you're doing a brilliant job here. Thank you for your level-headed explanations and discussion.

borntobequiet · 18/03/2026 06:05

Many many many posts overnight, lots of them very effective in exposing the incoherence and falsity, as well as the extraordinary solipsism, of the genderist position, laid bare for all to see.

Helleofabore · 18/03/2026 06:31

I know I don't "pass" I haven't been concerned with such a thing since I was 17.

Yet you have spent threads telling us that no one in your daily life knew you were male unless you told them?

This does seem a remarkable admission considering what you have posted on many threads now.

biwr · 18/03/2026 06:34

borntobequiet · 18/03/2026 06:05

Many many many posts overnight, lots of them very effective in exposing the incoherence and falsity, as well as the extraordinary solipsism, of the genderist position, laid bare for all to see.

if someone is truly happy with their identity and likes who they are, they don’t spend literally hours on forums trying to persuade people that they’re truly happy with their identity and like who they are.

Helleofabore · 18/03/2026 06:34

X posted with unwashed.

I think that the Matterhorn is growing in height.

Helleofabore · 18/03/2026 06:42

onepostwonder · 18/03/2026 00:12

I would also add parents are a really good judge of their child's happiness as well. My mother used to say she had never seen someone express true contentment until she saw me in the recovery room before I woke up from my surgery. She has no time for sex realists, surprisingly.

If I were you, I would not be posting this as some kind of justification for your decisions.

If your mother said that she had never seen anyone look so contented as you when you were still drugged under the influence of anaesthetic, she is grasping at straws. And so is anyone who believes her.

Anaesthetic has a habit of making people look peaceful. There is a reason it is used to facilitate surgical procedures.

Coatsoff42 · 18/03/2026 06:43

onepostwonder · 17/03/2026 21:24

I had a vaginoplasty.

I've been a bad trans person and went years where I'd not bothered with HRT. This was to my detriment as I now have osteopenia. During that period, I experienced night sweats, hot flashes, my skin thinned and dried considerably, my hair thinned, I gained weight...and generally I looked much older than my age. I probably did other systems of my body some harm as well. I didn't die, I didn't feel especially miserable. When I returned to HRT the above disappeared, I seem to be reversing the osteopenia somewhat (exercise, horse leveling amounts of vitamin D and calcium have helped). I do feel better on HRT. I feel stronger and healthier.

I was in my 30s and my GP at the time suggested I get serious about HRT as she recommended not spending the next 50 years hormonally deficient. Last time I had blood levels tested without HRT, My adrenals were producing a 'normal' level of testosterone and my oestrogen and progesterone levels were in the middle of "Postmenopausal" on the report (0.9nmol/L, 40pmol/L and 0.4pmol/L respectively). My FSH and LH were in "Postmenopausal" as well (57.3 IU/L and 13.1IU/L).

I would have to assume my body would return to relying on my adrenal hormone production. I would definitely survive without HRT, as anyone else does on lowered hormone levels.

That is very interesting! You’ll have to get a dexa scan I guess to check your bone density, osteoporosis is a nightmare to manage, and it affects other stuff you don’t anticipate in the future.
It’s funny you get your levels checked regularly, but women have no idea and it doesn’t really get measured. It’s wild to me that you have such detailed knowledge of something that is completely unmonitored in women. I guess you have to stay healthy which is more complicated for you.

Shortshriftandlethal · 18/03/2026 07:33

onepostwonder · 17/03/2026 17:58

I agree that there are children who absolutely are not trans and should absolutely not change their sex. Trans children are not within that group of children.

I didn't decide I was the opposite sex when I was a teen in the 80s. I was quite aware of my future while clinically enrolled in the 70s in an adjacent child psych program until I extricated myself at 12.

I don't think puberty blockers wouldn't have made much of a difference for me.
My puberty was late as I began HRT.

No child is 'trans'. We are all either male or female. Nobody can change sex, let alone " decide" to. Children are not even fully aware of their developing sexual orientation at that age - even though it is already there subliminally -and may be reacted to negatively by their parents ( if homosexual and 'feminine')

I suggest the adults around you let you down very badly when they enabled you on such a path so young. You would still have been " who you are" without years of drugs and surgery and the constant pre-occupation with your imagined 'gender'.

Greyskybluesky · 18/03/2026 07:33

Helleofabore · 18/03/2026 06:31

I know I don't "pass" I haven't been concerned with such a thing since I was 17.

Yet you have spent threads telling us that no one in your daily life knew you were male unless you told them?

This does seem a remarkable admission considering what you have posted on many threads now.

Including medical staff, apparently

Helleofabore · 18/03/2026 07:46

unwashedanddazed · 18/03/2026 03:22

"I know I don't "pass" I haven't been concerned with such a thing since I was 17. "
Yet you've claimed elsewhere on these forums that your adopted children don't know that you're male. And that everyone in your life treats you as a woman because that is what they see. If you don't pass then everyone is treating you as a man dressed up as a woman. Nothing else.

The incoherencies are stacking up.

I am sure there are some who think that someone writing with the confidence in their subjective belief sounds calm and knowledgeable. But it is likely that they are looking at the wrong cues.

They are not seeing the rather important inconsistencies appearing that show just how many of these answers are belief based and not supported by evidence at all.

Then you have to acknowledge the inconsistencies that have completely undermined previous arguments. That subjective reality will change to suit the situation, while material reality based on proven and established scientific foundation won’t change over the period of time the discussion is being had. It needs to be understood that some people can confidently deliver misinformation, the key is having the knowledge to understand what is misinformation and flawed theory.

If someone is also ignoring the constant attempt to frame evidence as being biased and conceptual while theory is framed as being solid evidence, I guess they would think the poster doing that is speaking truthfully and powerfully.

But over time it is not holding up.

Igneococcus · 18/03/2026 07:52

Greyskybluesky · 18/03/2026 07:33

Including medical staff, apparently

Edited

And adoption services (not sure what they are called).

Helleofabore · 18/03/2026 07:53

All these posts with no acknowledgement of the very important fact.

There is a huge difference between experimental treatments to save a child’s life and one to cosmetically change a child’s body to suit their current identity.

Shedmistress · 18/03/2026 07:56

onepostwonder · 18/03/2026 00:07

Clinicians would be best placed to be the judge of a successful treatment. Not a Tuesday meeting of committed writers of Letters to Editors

And yet every single one failed to do any follow ups.

Helleofabore · 18/03/2026 08:01

onepostwonder · 18/03/2026 00:15

If your goal is to generate data, run a study. If your goal is medical treatment of children using a widely accepted protocol successfully applied in your practice for decades, treat children.

And yet, as there has been no follow up that has been considered strong as far as evidence collection is concerned, that treatment cannot be considered safe or successful.

When you miss out important facts, your statements amount to emotional reasoning only. It is widely accepted due to political pressure, not due to evidence. There are now enough clinicians raising the alarm to show your statement here to be flawed.

Helleofabore · 18/03/2026 08:04

onepostwonder · 18/03/2026 00:32

In my teens, all my close friends were gay. I dated gay boys. There was nothing stopping me from being gay. Other than I wasn't gay.

It is true that homosexual male people do usually date other homosexual male people.

KindleSchmindle · 18/03/2026 08:35

Me-rail
Me-rail
Me-rail

ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

So many threads ruined by it.

The only consolation is the fact that “sex realist” is used as an insult with a breathtakingly lack of irony or self awareness. It would be amusing if all these fucking threads weren’t being derailed to pander to this massive ego and goadiness.

KindleSchmindle · 18/03/2026 08:37

I wanted to add to bellend in my last sentence but it would get deleted.

Please can we stop engaging with people acting in bad faith?

noblegiraffe · 18/03/2026 08:39

I entered it to counter misinformation and sex realist myths about trans medical treatment. I am your current friendly neighbourhood real actual trans person. Hello.

Your problem here, @onepostwonder is that you think you know what you are talking about, but you do not understand what you are talking about. You have read that clinical trials are the ‘gold standard’ for assessing whether a treatment is safe and efficacious but you don’t know why. You have said that the treatment worked for you, as if that is evidence that it works - it is not. You said your mum said you were happier post surgery as if that is evidence that it works - it is not. You said that clinicians are best placed to judge whether a treatment works - they are not. These are all well established facts which is why new drugs have to undergo clinical trials: double-blinded, randomised, clinically controlled trials.

If you give a group of ill people a sugar pill, a significant number of them will say that it made them feel better. If you give them ‘surgery’ (cut them open and sew them up without actually doing the operation), it is even more effective at getting people to feel better.

The ‘evidence’ that you refer to of thousands of happy patients is not good evidence. There’s no point in referring to it. You might as well refer to a Reddit thread of people saying it worked for them where all dissenting posts have been deleted as ‘evidence’. If the data is crap, you can’t use it.

Shedmistress · 18/03/2026 08:39

KindleSchmindle · 18/03/2026 08:35

Me-rail
Me-rail
Me-rail

ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

So many threads ruined by it.

The only consolation is the fact that “sex realist” is used as an insult with a breathtakingly lack of irony or self awareness. It would be amusing if all these fucking threads weren’t being derailed to pander to this massive ego and goadiness.

It is no surprise that 'narcissism' would be part and parcel of the differential diagnosis is it? If they ever bothered to get a differential diagnosis together of course.

RedToothBrush · 18/03/2026 08:46

Helleofabore · 18/03/2026 06:31

I know I don't "pass" I haven't been concerned with such a thing since I was 17.

Yet you have spent threads telling us that no one in your daily life knew you were male unless you told them?

This does seem a remarkable admission considering what you have posted on many threads now.

Extreme trans ideology behaves like a cult. It is psuedo scientific and pseudo religious. If you do not adhere to the holy Tennants (sic) you are an apostate and 'anti-trans'. Except it's more holey than holy.

MN isn't anti-trans. It's pro-woman and pro-children. This is problematic for a male centred ideology which seeks to trample over the rights and protections of women and children.

Time and again we see Me-railing and attempts to tell us something is safe based on antidotes and outright lies. All to convince a parent to transition their child.

In this case we have some one advocating for childhood transition even though they transitioned as an adult. They try to make out the drugs are safe based on their singular experience. Yet this isn't scientific. It's utter bollocks. Especially given the other comments made by the same person about how they are now biologically female. There's the antidotes about menopause and being told to come off HRT because they've reached a certain age when women's hormones decline so they have experience of menopause. It's strange because this is the age women start hormone treatment. So why be told to come off the drugs? Again the question of safety arises.

No evidence of any quality is ever supplied. Just already discredited nonsense.

We have explored multiple times why control of children is so essential to adult transitioners. They are the scaffold to legitimacy and access to women. Note women not women's spaces. Neutral gender neutral facilities are not ok.

When defending womens spaces, it becomes apparent that if they can't be colonised by males then the default response is to destroy the space or service by any means possible. Because it's a men's rights movement.

Women are not allowed to speak for themselves or advocate for children - despite so many having direct experience with their children, partners and other family members. There's no mention of the patterns of abuse and coercion elsewhere yet we know it's happening because that's our lived experience. It's a dirty little secret no one wants to hear. We know children have high rates of detransition if left to just wait it out. We know that there's a whole scandal with the Tavistock and how kids were groomed online and parents were coached and blackmailed out of fear. These threats have all since been discredited yet still they persist. We know several studies have picked up the large numbers of gay and lesbian kids who have identified as trans and the comments by parents like Susie Green which are pretty much about erasure of gayness and transing away the gay. A man isn't gay if he transitions and then dates a man. Except of course he is. Because otherwise gay ceases to have any legal protection nor meaning as per the Supreme Court Ruling.

What stands out everytime with these male transitioners is how they are oblivious to the female experience of life and how they can barely get through a post without it being all about them. There's no reflection on how they don't represent a teen girl. Nor even a teen boy when they talk about blockers and how this might affect the success of transition.

Indeed there is zero discussion about the limitations of transition. Nor the side effects of transition. Nor the risks of transition. This is always verboten. This is concerning.

You should always consider the information that's clearly omitted as well as the information that is included.

Given as wives, mothers and others relations who live behind those closed doors and see up close the downsides and how it isn't a magic bullet to mental distress but we are expected to play along and pretend transition and especially early transition is a pathway to living happily ever after no matter what our experience and observations are it's quite something. We must be silent and complicit or we will be punished. We will be smeared, we will be abused, we will lose careers, we will be threatened with losing our loved ones. We are expected to stay by and watch others actively harmed knowing what we know, without allowing the opportunity to have a discussion.

Informed consent requires us to tell the truth.

But here's the thing. As mother's our job is to protect even if it's uncool and unfashionable. We don't let our kids just do anything they like because their friends are all doing it. We aren't right wing or conservative when we do this. We just can identify harms and risks. And sometimes it's our job to 'be the bad guy' because we know being cool mum can lead to far far worse in the long run.

The reality which has been born out by just about every piece of research on the subject is the kids who identify as trans have deeply complex histories and issues which don't just go away on transition. Indeed transition can block access to therapy and other forms of support for wider issues because it's viewed as 'anti-trans'... Because it asks deep questions about how someone feels deep down.

It never fails to amaze me how many of the plopping transitioners seek to paint a rosy picture of passing and having no medical issues. Only for them to drop a comment every so often which shows the facade of bullshit and how it's really not their lived reality. We see what happens out of sight of the PR.

The problem is that the process of admitting it's not an ideal solution and that you can't actually change sex so traumatic in its own right, the only thing they can do is to lash out at anyone identifying reality and speaking it.

It's a house of cards. It's so fragile. They know how fragile it is. They know it's got nothing of substance. We aren't the big bad wolf though. Unfortunately a gust of wind reveals this.

biwr · 18/03/2026 08:48

insane that “sex realist” is being used as an insult.
Its the same as saying that a belief in biology or a belief in the earth not being flat is flawed!

BiologicalRobot · 18/03/2026 08:49

DramaQueenlady · 18/03/2026 02:20

Seek all the support you can. MN are anti trans. Mermaids if you haven't already contacted them. I've not read the posts here just the first couple. Good luck supporting your daughter. Just love and support her.

Mermaids? Where have you been these past couple of years? Just googling Mermaids and Charity Commission brings up this part.

Puberty Blockers Guidance: The charity was asked to update its website to reflect the findings of the Cass Review, which they did, acknowledging the need for more cautious guidance.

They are NOT going to recommend DIY medication or doing anything against the ban on puberty blockers. Basically they will end up saying the same as us.

Helleofabore · 18/03/2026 08:54

It's a house of cards. It's so fragile. They know how fragile it is. They know it's got nothing of substance.

I think it is significant that often what happens is that it is their own words that show just how fragile the foundations for that house of cards is. Some people like to declare that it is others blowing their house down, that it is their own words doesn’t cross their mind it seems.

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