The Bluestocking Women’s Pub: Where Clever Women Sit and Think, While Gerbils Run the Bar.

[MyrtleLion]

Come in. Yes, you’re in the right place. No, you don’t need to explain yourself.

Coats will be drycleaned before you depart. Bags won't be stolen because Gubbins will play her triangle. And you really don't want to hear it.

The gerbils run the bar.
They are small, brisk, and unionised.
One is polishing a glass with unnecessary seriousness.
Another is keeping the tab and will remember what you ordered last time.
There is a triangle involved. No one knows why. It keeps Gubbins happy.

Sit. Think. Drink. Join in.

The gerbils have it from here.

Previous thread...
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5481554-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-definitely-full-of-ludicrous-halfwits-who-refuse-to-get-a-grip-with-unionised-gerbils

Marie, that was a brilliant post, as are all your others on that thread. If MN ban you, I shall be campaigning for your immediate restoration.

Twallock is really pissing me off now. Time to walk away.

Wow @MarieDeGournay

I am often a bit disappointed by some aspects of the MN governance but this takes the biscuit.

@MarieDeGournay I'm really sorry to hear of your brush with MNHQ, and very surprised. Of all the people on the FWR threads, I've always felt that you were the most likely to offer sympathy where you could sense some underlying hurt, which is exactly what you did with the original poster. The second poster was a different kettle of fish and would not have been receptive to any view that did not echo his own💙

@MarieDeGournay a bit gobsmacked TBH i saw other posts that were almost crossing the line. But i did not think yours did.

BTW i asked for a post i did last night to be deleted that i was worried crossed a line.

What usually happens is someone reports your post and the mod deletes it and gives you a warning without balancing what has been said.

So if that happens back out, and name change on new such goady threads in the future as the TRA’s can target you if they have succeeded once and they recognise your name, its sport, it happened to me more than once.

PM me as well as i know how to get back in, i did it when i was on the norty step. Hence my name changes.

it is impossible to know when one can suddenly get “done”, so please don't take it too much to heart.

It's time to abandon the other thread, it's really not worth getting regular MNetters banned. I will hide it now.
So sorry this happened to you @MarieDeGournay

With twallock and similar it doesn't matter how patient, logical, factual, clear or reasonable you are. They are unpleasant and ignorant and nothing will change that.
I sort of agreed with what a poster (I don't remember who) said about having a set response. Maybe a few short posts outlining the main arguments that can be copied and pasted every time someone starts spouting the TWAW nonsense (so anyone new to the feminism section of the site sees why it's nonsense) and then just walk away.
Except I don't really think that's right as women shouldn't be the ones having to leave the threads. No simple solution unfortunately.

I'm back ! 😀
Thank you for all your kind words, they mean a lot💙

I wasn't getting angry on the TT thread, he was being so obnoxious, and so insensitive that I was enjoying jousting with him.

The only thing offensive about my post was that it was, I suppose, sarcastic, but I didn't think I was aiming it at some kind of shrinking violet.

I accept that moderators can pull you up on things, but I think mentioning suspension and permanent bans when a post has been queried for 'tone' rather than anything clearly offensive is OTT. And quite upsetting.

Any way, I suppose I should stop talking about it as I'm probably being watched now, and must not appear to repeat the things I was pulled up for.

Thank you again dear Stockingers x

It was a tag team IMHO.

At moments like this, we need a picture of Harriet the Husky Rat

Thank you for picking up on that - in fact I quoted my post wishing the OP well to MNHQ, to give a bit of context.

I always err on the side of caution if I think a poster is distressed, it could happen that a woman who is going through a difficult time, just about holding it together, comes on here and uses words or phrases that are 'questionable'- maybe this is her first step to finding support and a new voice, and I wouldn't like to scare her off.

I don't mind being proved wrong

Possibly.
I've got into fisticuffs on heated threads before now, and tend to avoid them these days - partly lack of time to get drawn in to very fast-moving threads, partly because I hate arguing with thin air and with posters who keep coming round and round with the same facile points or observations that have been shown down multiple times by multiple people already.

Anyway, @MarieDeGournay, we all love you here and know how kind and genuine you are. Twallock isn't worth it.

I love you all in the Bluey, and am deeply grateful for your all your insights, support and fun.

I am also v grateful to the capybara team, who can sniff out a twallock at 500 yards. And deal with them.

I don't mind being proved wrong
I feel that way on The Doghouse, which has some incredibly judgemental, rude and brutal posters. I'll always give a new poster the benefit of the doubt, allow for normal levels of cluelessness etc. If you want to educate people, there is no point scaring them off by being a dick.

I don't go on Reddit very often. If I do, it's mostly for amusing pictures of cats.

I have learned not to go into the comments. The pedigree cat subs are insane. People who think AIBU is a bit mad don't know they're born.

Thank you again💙
Thing is - I didn't feel that the TT thread was heated, I certainly wasn't, I actually felt I was being clever, and channelling my inner Naomi C with my witty metaphor [I think it was a metaphor, not a simile, I can't quite remember the wording].

That'll larn me for acting clever😏

I am thinking out loud here but i have asked myself why i and many others are still responding to goady TRA posts.

We have won the war via the SC FWS ruling.

The fact that the defeated are refusing to surrender is where we should be targeting our attention.

What that looks like is not clear yet.

I think i do it because I am infuriated by their entitlement and don't want my silence to be seen as acceptance or agreement.

Not really any excuse but sometimes I just want to roar.

Sadly, I don't think they can surrender. It's the only thing they have.

But I do I wonder how many TRAs will still be around (i.e.visible) in 10 years time.

Yep you are right winning the war means jumping up and down in a angry fashion.

Well the suffragettes didn't win anything by being meek and acquiesing to the men. And I bet the men hoped they'd just shut up and go away.

Hoping someone will just shut up and go away is a common male "coping" strategy. It rarely works.

The constant bleating of "that is your belief", has been driving me mad all evening trying to remember what song lyrics it reminds me of. It finally came to me: And I Love You So, by Perry Como (one of my Dad's favourites, I'm not quite that old).

The book of life is brief
And once a page is read
All but love is dead
That is my belief

I'm going to be singing that bloody song all night, aren't I?

That is upsetting, @MarieDeGournay. :(. I know that I wouldn't want to lose my account here - I've met too many nice folk.

I think I've possibly lost my X account through a combination of clicking on summat, getting a fright and then having to change my password. This had a knock on effect with the Microsoft account that holds the email for here and my FB account.

I think that I've succeeded in securing the Microsoft Hotmail account, but I'm still waiting to hear back from X. I mainly use it to follow women's rights issues.

Fortunately, I have the phone number of the Twitter pal who is now a real life (albeit distant) pal, so if the worst comes to the worst I'll request that they delete the account. They've already said that it doesn't appear to be under anyone else's control, at least.

Anyway, if I disappear from here, it's because I've mucked up my hotmail account.

I don't see that you wrote anything terrible in your post, MarieDeGournay. I do wonder why women always have to have a thicker skin than men.

I agree with @SionnachRuadh - I do see men in particular gaming the system on social media quite a lot.

We definitely don't want to lose you.

I am busy trying to fast forward the end of the offending thread by posting my shoes and stuff, i am finding it therapeutic this awful “onepost” person got in my head and on reflection it was horrible and took over my day.