How to deal with request to wear pronoun badge

[IknowIknowIknow]

It's finally happened - a request to declare my pronouns that is going to be hard to ignore. Advice welcome.

Situation is that I volunteer for a charity that deals with members of the public. The charity has a new member of staff who is non-binary. There's an event for the public coming up that a couple of other volunteers and I are volunteering at. The paid member of staff who is a volunteer coordinator mentioned last time we saw her that there are pronoun badges, that no one has to wear them if they don't want to, but also that she feels that it's quite "othering" if only this new non-binary staff members wears a pronoun badge and no one else does.

Clearly I can just say "no thanks" with no further comment when I'm offered a pronoun badge. However, I would probably be the only person out of a small number of staff and volunteers not wearing one, so it's not a neutral act to not wear it. I am also actually a very inclusive person who is perfectly able to get along with a wide range of people even if I don't share their beliefs. I'm worried that by not wearing the badge, the staff (including the non-binary person) will make all kinds of assumptions about me that aren't correct, eg that I hate all trans people, that I'm "transphobic" etc etc. I think it will change the way the staff view me (for the worse and through misunderstanding).

WWYD? I've considered emailing the volunteer coordinator in advance explaining my reasons for not wanting to wear the badge but saying that this isn't relevant to how I am happy to volunteer alongside anyone else, staff or volunteer. DH said I should just "forget" to wear the badge and just ignore the existence of the badges on the day. Or I can just say "no thanks" when offered a badge. Or write "no preferred pronouns" on the badge. But that implies you think it's worth clarifying that you have no preferred pronouns, which is as ridiculous to me as writing on the badge that I'm an atheist, just so people with a religion feel ok about mentioning their religion.

Any advice?

Just don’t wear the badge.

If anyone asks why ‘I don’t want to wear one, I don’t mind what anyone calls me’ and no further needed.

I'd just say oh I don't need to declare my pronouns I'm happy with whatever people choose to use

"No I don't want to. I'm unhappy with being outed"

No I won’t be declaring them

If you want to be really down with the kids you can say I wouldn't want anyone to feel they need to out themselves with pronouns they are uncomfortable sharing yet, and I think a culture where everyone feels they ought to label themselves and announce pronouns can create hostility and not recognise fluidity in identity. We just all need to be kind to each other.

You could always say your pronouns are he/him and see if they dare to argue with you.

Are they handwritten? Just write your name on it maybe

I'd just say no thanks, it's not something I do, and people are welcome to use any pronoun they like for me.

Or I'd write I/me/my, depending on what mood I was in.

Any explanations will just draw attention to it and make it a big deal. I would just say, 'no thanks, I don't need one' and leave it at that.

Just remember, not wearing one doesn't make you not inclusive. The member of staff was on a sticky wicket applying pressure that like and is the one at fault.

Why can't you just say 'no thanks' - it seems the simplest way to deal with it.

Otherwise you're allowing yourself to be coerced into doing something that suggests you believe in gender ideology when you seem to suggest that this is not what you believe.

The only way to change things is to change the way we do things - to act when we can, or people will keep pushing this on others.

If you say no, it may empower others to do the same - if you comply then others will feel pressure to do the same.

'No thanks I don't need one'

If it is so othering to wear the sodding badge, the enby has the choice of not wearing one 🤷‍♀️

"I'm not comfortable with that, you wouldn't ask me to wear a badge declaring any other protected characteristic such as religion or disability."

I work in job which has an equality act excemption, women only, and people put their pronouns on email signatures, it's utterly ridiculous as obviously we are all women! Thankfully it's optional and not mandated.

‘No thank you, I don’t need one’ big smile and then ask a question about something non-related.

Ive refused to go along with any pronoun identification and it’s not been an issue in my volunteering.

Just refuse. You cannot be made to do this. Also - even if you were gender non-conforming (I’m assuming you’re not) - you could refuse on the basis that this could out you before you are ready.

Definitely just say 'no thanks' in a fairly final tone to begin with
if you get any questions 'Do you really want to discuss this at work'
and if they do
'its not a belief I share'

Don’t go into a long explanation. A polite “ no I don’t need one” or similar is fine. If pressed simply repeat “no really, I don’t need one”.

if they’ve made one specifically for you, just say thanks, I’ll keep that and then just put it in your bag. If questioned you go right back to “no I don’t need to”.

This. Your sexuality is no one's business but your own, and a volunteering event does not warrant compromising that.

Yes this.

You’re a volunteer. You say no. What’s the worse that can happen?

“No I won’t thanks. People can use whatever pronouns they want to for me.” (Tinkly laugh).

You’re making a deal out of nothing. Just don’t wear one if you don’t want to. Similarly I would happily wear one with no issue.

Yes just say this!

I volunteer for a charity that deals with members of the public.

No thank you.

Expanded version :

We are a charity dealing with the public. The most important thing any member of the public I deal with needs to remember is that they spoke to IknowIknowIknow.

This is so they have a choice to get back in contact with me directly or to deal with any other member of staff who is available on the day they recontact us.

It if it was me - I'd not make a big deal of it, don't pick one up or wear one, don't email in advance.

I would bet you're not the only one.

Interesting to see so many women being so clear - "No thanks". For years women have, like the OP, fretted and worried about being compelled / coerced into buying into all this nonsense.

Finally we're having the confidence to say no. This doesn't apply to me.

Courage OP - "No is a complete sentence" as all Mumsnetters know.

I'd say that Im not interested in pronoun badges, so won't be wearing one.

If they say anything else, just say that you thought they said it was optional?