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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
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TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:16

*can't fathom. Lol. Spellchecker strikes again, apologies.

Laters. Hope you all eventually start campaigning against rape culture instead of attacking people who suffer its consequences, but I'm not holding my breath.

MeltedSunshine · 16/01/2026 07:29

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:14

Calling women "females" is a bit of a giveaway there mate.

If you cared about this poor guy, you'd respect his identity. Full stop.

No one chooses to be trans, and every supportive parent of a trans person wishes they weren't trans - not because they don't respect & love them, but because they don't want them to be harassed, raped or killed.

Trans men know how vulnerable coming out makes them. It paints an immediate target. Yet they do it - because living openly as themselves is more important than that.

Trans people live with a degree of risk even I - a c!s woman of near 50, with a lifetime of coping with sexual harassment - can fathom. It certainly can't be understood by c!s men.

Trans people also live with a constant, exhausting hypervigilance. It makes trans kids collapse from sheer physical stress. No one chooses that. They are normal human beings who deserve understanding and respect. Misgendering is lame as hell, and says far more about the person doing it

We need safer MH spaces, a functioning justice system - and a far greater understanding of the impact dehumanisation of minorities has on society.

No one is misgendering here. We are not believers in gender ideology so don’t used their faith-based language. We refer to their sex.

MeltedSunshine · 16/01/2026 07:35

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:16

*can't fathom. Lol. Spellchecker strikes again, apologies.

Laters. Hope you all eventually start campaigning against rape culture instead of attacking people who suffer its consequences, but I'm not holding my breath.

Says someone who refuses to acknowledge the importance of sex in safeguarding and who is campaigning for men to ignore women’s boundaries and be able to commit sex crimes of voyeurism and exposure with impunity.

AnSolas · 16/01/2026 07:40

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:14

Calling women "females" is a bit of a giveaway there mate.

If you cared about this poor guy, you'd respect his identity. Full stop.

No one chooses to be trans, and every supportive parent of a trans person wishes they weren't trans - not because they don't respect & love them, but because they don't want them to be harassed, raped or killed.

Trans men know how vulnerable coming out makes them. It paints an immediate target. Yet they do it - because living openly as themselves is more important than that.

Trans people live with a degree of risk even I - a c!s woman of near 50, with a lifetime of coping with sexual harassment - can fathom. It certainly can't be understood by c!s men.

Trans people also live with a constant, exhausting hypervigilance. It makes trans kids collapse from sheer physical stress. No one chooses that. They are normal human beings who deserve understanding and respect. Misgendering is lame as hell, and says far more about the person doing it

We need safer MH spaces, a functioning justice system - and a far greater understanding of the impact dehumanisation of minorities has on society.

Are you honest enough to try fill out a risk assessment for a female patient who is being placed on what should be a male only ward?

What would you expect to see documented to prove that the patient and the people in contact with her and the allocates unit the has been assessed?

Staff should ensure that they take an objective and evidence-based approach to assessing any potential risk of
● Rape or
● Sexual Assault
and vulnerabilities that could arise because of
• a female being admitted on to what should be a male only ward
in accordance with their gender identity rather than their sex.

PATIENT NAME
SEX :
■ female
□ male
GENDER

WARD :
□ placed in female ward
■ placed in male ward
□ placed in mixed sex ward

RISK: Rape
Defined in "UK" law as....

Outcomes:
• patient is the victim of the rape
• patient is the rapist.
• patient is a witness to a rape
• other

Risk reduction : victim
Vulnerability reduction (How can a patient prevent their own rape):

@TransParentlyAnnoyed want to start with what the policy or safeguarding options you should recomend to be documented?

Risk reduction : rapist
Vulnerability reduction

How about here?
What risk would present?
How do they differ if the patient is female and not male?
Would pretending she is male when she is female change the risk profile?

ArabellaScott · 16/01/2026 07:47

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:16

*can't fathom. Lol. Spellchecker strikes again, apologies.

Laters. Hope you all eventually start campaigning against rape culture instead of attacking people who suffer its consequences, but I'm not holding my breath.

'Gender' is rape culture. 'Gender' has directly led to this poor woman being assaulted.

AnSolas · 16/01/2026 07:48

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:16

*can't fathom. Lol. Spellchecker strikes again, apologies.

Laters. Hope you all eventually start campaigning against rape culture instead of attacking people who suffer its consequences, but I'm not holding my breath.

Please do show us the way by explaining what you think the hospital staff should be obliged to document when placing a female patient on what should be a male only ward

(while having professional experience of the likelyhood that at any given time the ward will have male patients who pose a higher than average risk to others)

Seethlaw · 16/01/2026 07:49

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:14

Calling women "females" is a bit of a giveaway there mate.

If you cared about this poor guy, you'd respect his identity. Full stop.

No one chooses to be trans, and every supportive parent of a trans person wishes they weren't trans - not because they don't respect & love them, but because they don't want them to be harassed, raped or killed.

Trans men know how vulnerable coming out makes them. It paints an immediate target. Yet they do it - because living openly as themselves is more important than that.

Trans people live with a degree of risk even I - a c!s woman of near 50, with a lifetime of coping with sexual harassment - can fathom. It certainly can't be understood by c!s men.

Trans people also live with a constant, exhausting hypervigilance. It makes trans kids collapse from sheer physical stress. No one chooses that. They are normal human beings who deserve understanding and respect. Misgendering is lame as hell, and says far more about the person doing it

We need safer MH spaces, a functioning justice system - and a far greater understanding of the impact dehumanisation of minorities has on society.

No one chooses to be trans

No, but every out adult trans person chooses to out themselves. Every adult person who transitions chooses to do that. Please don't take our hard choices away from us.

because they don't want them to be harassed, raped or killed.

In the Western world, we are absolutely not persecuted, let alone killed.

Trans people live with a degree of risk even I - a c!s woman of near 50, with a lifetime of coping with sexual harassment - can't fathom

Oh please! No we don't. I'm far more at risk from being female than from being trans.

Trans people also live with a constant, exhausting hypervigilance. It makes trans kids collapse from sheer physical stress. No one chooses that.

Again, don't take our choices away from us. We absolutely do choose to out ourselves and to transition. Well, the adults among us anyway. The so-called trans children, indeed, don't get a choice, and that's monstrous.

borntobequiet · 16/01/2026 08:00

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:14

Calling women "females" is a bit of a giveaway there mate.

If you cared about this poor guy, you'd respect his identity. Full stop.

No one chooses to be trans, and every supportive parent of a trans person wishes they weren't trans - not because they don't respect & love them, but because they don't want them to be harassed, raped or killed.

Trans men know how vulnerable coming out makes them. It paints an immediate target. Yet they do it - because living openly as themselves is more important than that.

Trans people live with a degree of risk even I - a c!s woman of near 50, with a lifetime of coping with sexual harassment - can fathom. It certainly can't be understood by c!s men.

Trans people also live with a constant, exhausting hypervigilance. It makes trans kids collapse from sheer physical stress. No one chooses that. They are normal human beings who deserve understanding and respect. Misgendering is lame as hell, and says far more about the person doing it

We need safer MH spaces, a functioning justice system - and a far greater understanding of the impact dehumanisation of minorities has on society.

Calling women "females" is a bit of a giveaway there mate.

For goodness’ sake.

It gives away the fact that the poster understands biology and reality.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 16/01/2026 08:01

I've no doubt that transparently is even now on trans Reddit mobilising a campaign against rape culture yes??

or is it something that TP despite claiming to be a women feels she has no stake in

also id like to thank TP for do brilliantly demonstrating Helen Joyce's last Japanese soldier observation about some parents of 'trans children' (for avoidance of doubt I don't believe any child is trans. TP would burn everything to the ground to ensure her child feels validated

ArabellaScott · 16/01/2026 08:18

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:14

Calling women "females" is a bit of a giveaway there mate.

If you cared about this poor guy, you'd respect his identity. Full stop.

No one chooses to be trans, and every supportive parent of a trans person wishes they weren't trans - not because they don't respect & love them, but because they don't want them to be harassed, raped or killed.

Trans men know how vulnerable coming out makes them. It paints an immediate target. Yet they do it - because living openly as themselves is more important than that.

Trans people live with a degree of risk even I - a c!s woman of near 50, with a lifetime of coping with sexual harassment - can fathom. It certainly can't be understood by c!s men.

Trans people also live with a constant, exhausting hypervigilance. It makes trans kids collapse from sheer physical stress. No one chooses that. They are normal human beings who deserve understanding and respect. Misgendering is lame as hell, and says far more about the person doing it

We need safer MH spaces, a functioning justice system - and a far greater understanding of the impact dehumanisation of minorities has on society.

'We need safer MH spaces, a functioning justice system - and a far greater understanding of the impact dehumanisation of minorities has on society.'

I wholly agree with this part.

We also urgently need to help girls and young women navigate life in a pornified society that treats them as sex objects because they are female. They need support to feel comfortable in their bodies, and the harmful stereotypes pushed on them need challenged. They need strong role models that show them women can dress how they want, and that their sexuality is okay, whatever it is.

Women need support and empowerment. They don't need to be told that the solution is to try to alter their healthy body to fit society.

MeltedSunshine · 16/01/2026 08:25

No one chooses to be trans… because they don't want them to be… killed.

A reminder that world wide statistics show people who identify as trans as being the demographic least likely to be murdered. Even in Brazil, where a high number of murders of men who identify as trans occur, they are still an order of magnitude less likely to be killed than other men.

Shedmistress · 16/01/2026 08:29

If a man thinks he will be killed when out on the streets or in toilets wearing skimpy lingerie and acting weird, put some clothes on and stop acting weird.

MeltedSunshine · 16/01/2026 08:52

dehumanisation

Calling people by their sex is human: both men and women are human. Calling women ‘people with a cervix’, ‘gestators’ or ‘birthing parent’ is dehumanising. Trying to destroy the definition of sexed language is dehumanising. Turning women into body parts or a collection oppressive regressive sex stereotypes is not only dehumanising, it is violent rape culture.

PollyNomial · 16/01/2026 09:00

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RedToothBrush · 16/01/2026 09:07

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:14

Calling women "females" is a bit of a giveaway there mate.

If you cared about this poor guy, you'd respect his identity. Full stop.

No one chooses to be trans, and every supportive parent of a trans person wishes they weren't trans - not because they don't respect & love them, but because they don't want them to be harassed, raped or killed.

Trans men know how vulnerable coming out makes them. It paints an immediate target. Yet they do it - because living openly as themselves is more important than that.

Trans people live with a degree of risk even I - a c!s woman of near 50, with a lifetime of coping with sexual harassment - can fathom. It certainly can't be understood by c!s men.

Trans people also live with a constant, exhausting hypervigilance. It makes trans kids collapse from sheer physical stress. No one chooses that. They are normal human beings who deserve understanding and respect. Misgendering is lame as hell, and says far more about the person doing it

We need safer MH spaces, a functioning justice system - and a far greater understanding of the impact dehumanisation of minorities has on society.

"We need to take the mentally ill patients out of mental health care because they are too dangerous..."

This shows just how much bollocks you spout and how little understanding of the world you have.

I'm sure transmen don't want to acknowledge they are female. The trouble is they are female and it's integral to their mental health, partly because hormone imbalances can send you crackers (Been there, done that, got the t-shirt), because being in a state of constantly pretending to be something you are not is straining on your mental health and because a constant desire to be something you are not or achieve something impossible will send you mental. In terms of pathological avoidant type behaviour - which this is - a form of extreme anxiety you can't get better without dealing with it head on. That means exposure to being told you are female and coming to peace with it. This is the treatment for other types of extreme phobia which have become so problematic they effect everyday functioning. Yet this is the one thing that isn't 'allowed' if trans. This attitude basically keeps deeply unwell women in a permanent state of mental illness.

It's akin to wanting to have treatment for cancer but not wishing to have invasive surgery because it upsets you to admit you have a tumour. Saying you don't want surgery doesn't help. No one wants surgery, but they just have to suck it up.

This is the same. They may not want to be referred to as female and treated as female, but unfortunately this isn't optional and I want shouldn't be getting.

Not only does it place the women in question at risk, but you have a myriad of other people directly and indirectly affected by her saying I'm a man and those who have responsibility nodding along like Muppets going 'yes of course'.

We have staff who no doubt saw this coming and felt unable to challenge who are deeply upset and traumatised. You have other patients who may have witnessed this who are deeply affected - you know mentally ill vulnerable patients. You have the men themselves who are responsible - who were mentally ill at the time but still had some capacity who really should have been put somewhere else because they were dangerous. They have the paradox of being vulnerable at the same time to acting on their unacceptable behaviours because they were enabled by fuckwits. You have all the patients affected by this court case and how it impacts on costs and staff out of the ward. You have everyone here deeply affected and numerous women who will avoid mental health care because they don't trust it and are concerned they may come across men - it means their mental health is more likely to hit crisis before getting help against their will when early intervention would have been better. The trust in HCP generally is a huge harm.

There are times when 'i want' shouldn't get. When there is no way to avoid the reality of a situation and it has to be confronted head on.

If you have bowel cancer, you almost certainly will face the indignity of having something shoved up your arse at some point. There are some issues which can not protect your dignity at all times.

You can't change mental health wards in the sense that you are going to have a bunch of people in them who are immediately going to identify your sex. Yes they should be more staffed. But ultimately you still have to identify the female patient. You can't protect them unless you do. You have to treat them differently.

How viable is it to protect a female patient in a male mental health ward with the best will in the world? These are men who don't have inhibitions and often display sexualised behaviour due to their condition. Is it reasonable to expect one to one protection for all transpatients? Is that equality of care for all patients? Maybe many of the other patients would benefit from one to one. We don't put mental health patients in isolation unless there's very good reason as there's an inherent danger to isolation for their own well being. Given that staffing ratios are appalling as it is, where are you going to take a member of staff from in order to enable one to one protection for a transperson? And how does this stop the comments of other patients or inappropriate flashing behaviour of other patients which still presents a risk to the patient b

So we have to put patients somewhere. We should be putting them in sexed wards because this is reflective of the levels of risks to and presented by males and females.

It's tough shit if you don't like it.

Women in Intensive care can't get single sex provision for good reason - they by nature need high staffing ratios. Why should women who want to be men get inappropriate care and be put at risk (and put others in positions where harm is likely) because they don't like it. It's not a good enough reason to allow it.

There are times where not only is it appropriate to say no we can't accommodate that, but actually we have good reason why it's harmful to you to say no because you need to deal with it or it will cause even more harm.

This is one.

The fact staff aren't doing this is awful. They are failing transpatients. It is one thing to want to be called male at certain times but at others you HAVE to acknowledge reality when it's appropriate. This isn't kind to fail to do. It's actively cruel and harmful.

The clearest thing here is you have zero experience of the mental health system nor had serious mental health issues yourself. It's totally speaking out of arse.

It's like saying we should stop murderers being in nasty because it makes prison dangerous.

Honestly all you do is show the unbelievable level of privilege and entitlement trans ideology is built upon.

Seethlaw · 16/01/2026 09:26

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I really wonder what went through your head

"Someone pointed out that if a man is delusional enough to believe he will be assaulted because of the clothes he wears or his behaviour, then all he has to do is not wear said clothes nor engage in said behaviour. Whatever shall I do? Oh, I know! I will victim-blame women for getting raped!"

Like. Really? That's where your brain went? It's kinda fascinating .

Hoardasurass · 16/01/2026 09:26

KnottyAuty · 16/01/2026 01:02

From my very limited observations i noticed that the trans men I’d seen were all well below average height. As though being a small woman was something to escape

Puberty blockers cause girls to be shorter than they would have been without them.
Conversely when given to boys they end up taller than they would have been with overly long legs and arms (we've known this since castrato).
Puberty blockers make trans children become adults that stick out like a sore thumb

RedToothBrush · 16/01/2026 09:26

Just been on twitter and this popped up.

To summarise, this is a detransitioners saying their mental and physical health was so badly affected by transition they realised they needed to detransition but we're almost held in a state of being unable to do this by the framework of others.

If this is real and we aren't recognising that mental health can be badly impacted by the act of transitioning we have an issue. The rigidness of saying identity MUST be respected otherwise it harms without recognising the lived experience of this reality which people are saying became its own prison is a harm. This does mean there will be people who are clinging to transition because they 'feel they have to' because no one is saying it's ok not to do this all the time if it harms your mental health. People whose job it is to deal with mental health should be on the front line of saying 'we should not be rigid about this, and there's times we should be challenging identity if we feel there is a legitimate reason to do so'.

Well this was totally predictable
Greyskybluesky · 16/01/2026 09:31

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:16

*can't fathom. Lol. Spellchecker strikes again, apologies.

Laters. Hope you all eventually start campaigning against rape culture instead of attacking people who suffer its consequences, but I'm not holding my breath.

Excuse me? You have NO idea what any of us do in real life to actively fight rape culture.

Why not grow up and engage like an adult instead of snarking at posters on mumsnet? You clearly have a lot of frustration and anger to work through.

Shedmistress · 16/01/2026 09:32

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Women can get raped no matter what they wear or how drunk.

potpourree · 16/01/2026 09:38

Calling women "females" is a bit of a giveaway there mate.

@TransParentlyAnnoyed genuine question as I'm not sure why you find this so objectionable - do you not think men can be female? Why would someone's sex affect whether they're a man or a woman - isn't that a terfy belief?

Instructions · 16/01/2026 09:41

Very late to this so inevitably repeating something already said, but... I work in mental health. Eden ward is a male PICU. A PICU. You are only admitted to a PICU when your risks to self/others are really high and cannot be managed in another setting. To put a female patient on a male PICU is organisational abuse. What a fucking heinous decision. This really shames our sector.

whatwouldafeministdo · 16/01/2026 09:51

MeltedSunshine · 16/01/2026 07:35

Says someone who refuses to acknowledge the importance of sex in safeguarding and who is campaigning for men to ignore women’s boundaries and be able to commit sex crimes of voyeurism and exposure with impunity.

Edited

It's classic DARVO

KitWyn · 16/01/2026 09:55

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 16/01/2026 07:16

*can't fathom. Lol. Spellchecker strikes again, apologies.

Laters. Hope you all eventually start campaigning against rape culture instead of attacking people who suffer its consequences, but I'm not holding my breath.

Gender Ideology is the 'rape culture' here.

The large majority of women are significantly physically weaker than the large majority of men.
We all know this. 'Transitioning' does not change reality. Transwomen remain much physically stronger than actual women. Transmen remain much physically weaker than actual men.

And according to the Equality Act 2010 - and reality/science - transwomen are men & transmen are women. It's the law. This female rape victim should never have been placed on that male ward.

Gender Ideology, by insisting some women are really men and placing these much physically weaker 'transmen' with their female genitals in very vulnerable situations with actual predatory men, is the Rape Culture.

Gender Ideology, by insisting some men are really women and placing these much physically stronger 'transwomen' with their male genitals in situations with actual vulnerable women, is the Rape Culture

You must know this on some level.

This woman, and she is and always will be a woman, is yet another victim of Gender Ideology. She was only placed on a Men's Ward because of this science-denying, Men's Rights, Sexual Fetish promoting, rancid ideology.

MeltedSunshine · 16/01/2026 10:10

RedToothBrush · 16/01/2026 09:26

Just been on twitter and this popped up.

To summarise, this is a detransitioners saying their mental and physical health was so badly affected by transition they realised they needed to detransition but we're almost held in a state of being unable to do this by the framework of others.

If this is real and we aren't recognising that mental health can be badly impacted by the act of transitioning we have an issue. The rigidness of saying identity MUST be respected otherwise it harms without recognising the lived experience of this reality which people are saying became its own prison is a harm. This does mean there will be people who are clinging to transition because they 'feel they have to' because no one is saying it's ok not to do this all the time if it harms your mental health. People whose job it is to deal with mental health should be on the front line of saying 'we should not be rigid about this, and there's times we should be challenging identity if we feel there is a legitimate reason to do so'.

This will also include children whose parents have built an identify and social group around their child’s ‘trans’ status. As may be demonstrated by their MN username.

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