Has anyone left their spouse over GC views / pro-Islam stance

[PinkTreeFrog]

Husband and I could never find common ground on gender critical views and his blindness to the harms of Islam to women. He has an inability to take in information that contradicts his world view. Has anyone left a spouse over this?

No but I would in a heartbeat. Not just for the beliefs but for a refusal to consider other viewpoints

Is he muslim?

Not just for the beliefs but for a refusal to consider other viewpoints

This. I couldn't be with someone who regarded women and girls as having lower status and made no attempt to understand the issues. If they refused to discuss other viewpoints, that would be the end of it for me.

Not glossing over the difficulty of LTB, but you only get one life.

Is he GC or you?

Which of you is Muslim, if either? Is it literally your views on the harms of Islam to women that he finds challenging? Or does he mistrust your focus on this issue, as possibly a pretext for generalised hostility to Islam?

Yeah more info needed.

I've learnt not to have too many tetchy politics discussions with my wife. She's genuinely angry about VAWG, stories like the Pelicot case, Taliban, Russell Brand, Harvey Weinstein, Andrew Tate, porn, industrial grade misogyny, Trump etc fuel her righteous indignation. At the same time, she's very nuanced on migration and the milder end of trans ideology (I'd call her a centre right Lib Dem type).
And I've learnt to leave politics, especially the culture wars of migration (illegal or otherwise) and trans alone.
But this also means I won't engage with her when she froths at the mouth over Trump and Musk, Farage, the Right's culture war.
If I'm gonna be impeded from talking thru politics from my PoV over the angriest period of the Left culture war (2016-2024), then I won't indulge her when she's most angry (Trump 2.0, Tate influence in young men, Musk ultra visible mouthiness, Farage/Reform rise and rise).
Just about works.

More information: I am gender critical, he is deep in the red/green alliance / pro-Palestine activism. We live in a sanctuary city in an area where hijabs are everywhere. I have a difficult time explaining it to our daughter in a balanced way.

If a partner became actively Islamophobic (or any other phobic for that matter) I would leave in a heartbeat, same for friends or relatives- I have no time for intolerance of any kind. I would also leave if a partner was misogynistic, regardless of their religion/cultural beliefs.

GC views are a bit more complicated. I wouldn’t leave over the views themselves but if they a) went on about it or b) started being some kind of anti trans activist I would leave.

Thankfully not an issue as my partner is lovely, but others around me have been faced with this situation.

Sorry, I clearly misunderstood the post. Regardless of the opinion I couldn’t stay with someone that doesn’t share the same fundamental values, it would just be constant hostility.

Social justice topics are quite heavy and very relevant today, a lot of them involve human rights and basic human dignity, however you look at it. I feel like you need to be on the same side for the most part.

So neither of you are Muslim and he has no interest in making your dd wear a hijab? But you think Islam harms women and he thinks it doesn't?
No idea what a sanctuary city is.

Yes. I think that Islam harms women, I want to include that in the discussion about the many hijabs we see around us. I am also gender critical and find his middling position to be unsatisfactory - particularly as the father of a daughter. We have been separated for awhile over frequent conflicts and I am at the point of serving papers. Just seeing if I am alone in this.

I think you likely have other problems than a theoretical discussion of Islam, if neither of you are Muslim. ( still unclear if he is or not). It's quite odd.

💐 (sarcastic)

Can you clarify what this means?

No. It is not odd.

Surely it's irrelevant what views each of you have on these issues or any others. If they're incompatible and you can't have a grown up discussion then it adds a strain to your relationship.

Why would the Muslim boys not be potential friends to your daughter? Surely she can decide that for herself? Just because someone is born into a religious family doesn’t mean they share all those beliefs.

We've had many grown-up discussions. We are separated. I am wondering if there are other women out there who have left their spouses over incompatible views that were not apparent at the point of marriage? It seems that the past decade has normalied a number of views that are harmful to women and I'd like to hear how some are adapting. I am adapting by separation and likely divorce.

When you say you live in a sanctuary city, do you think that's a bad thing ?

I ask, because if you say yes, does that mean you are a Trump supporter, and he is a dem ?

I would be concerned if they are raised in a family that devalues women and girls.

What does he say when you say this?
Are there conservative Muslim boys lining up to court or befriend your daughter? I am just puzzled as to how this affects your daily life.
But I think you don't respect him any more, so by all means serve divorce papers.

You don't think that it's necessary for a couple to grapple with differing values? I have a hard time sharing a life with someone that holds antithetical views.

I understand that in some contexts women are treated unfairly, and that should absolutely be criticised. But saying that wearing the hijab automatically means women are worth less than men is a huge generalisation and doesn’t reflect the reality I see.

I personally know many hijab-wearing women who are respected, educated, financially independent, and treated no less favourably than their male family members. For them, the hijab is a choice tied to faith and identity, not a symbol of inferiority.

The generalisation in your viewpoint is actually quite damaging too.