The Bluestocking: All You Need to Know About Risk Assessments, Jazz Hands, Battenberg and Sourdough (But Were Afraid to Ask) - and gerbils. Lots and lots of gerbils.

[MyrtleLion]

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the perfectly overblown, gloriously chaotic all-women’s pub where you can have a bit of a lie down if you need it.

Expect serious debates on musicals, cake and knitting, and whimsical musings on women’s rights and why the world’s on fire (again), all under the calm supervision of our support staff: gerbils, capybaras, and the occasional quokka on secondment.

The alcohol won’t get you drunk, the pastries won’t make you fat, but the conversation will digress, and that’s the point.

Remember to namechange before posting if you’re sometimes someone else.

Thanks @lcakethereforeIam fortunately I don't think we have any of those not that I'd recognise them if we did so under the spare bed can stay empty. Unless an annoying teen would fit as I don't currently have a small child. Would that do, @FuzzyPuffling ? Gutted that I'm too late to benefit from your child rearing tips 😂

No planting the loud, irate little 7 yr relative (thread passim) in the garden, then. I will let her mother know.

Does Fuzzy have any idea what to do with her instead?

I love small children but I couldn't eat a whole one.

I was listening to The Verb too while I did some needlework….well, I stitched up a hole in the toe of my moccasin style slippers and dealt with a trouser hem which had come adrift so not exactly craftwork. One of them mentioned their American editor would often change ‘which’ to ‘that’ - I’d noticed our technical writer would do that when reviewing documentation I’d written too. It turns out that in US English they’re stricter about using ‘that’ for restrictive clauses and ‘which’ only for non-restrictive clauses whereas in U.K. English we can use either ‘that’ or ‘which’ for the former.

I like small children. Sometimes I like to explain things to them, like Calvin's dad does.

Their parents rarely thank me for this.

I'm cross.😠 Very cross.😡
Nothing is safe from genderwoo.

There's a railway-related website - heritage rail tours, history of railways, obscure old lines, etc etc - with an online shop where I've bought some really nice enamel badges of locos
[I don't wear them, I put them on shelves. Don't want to give the wrong impression of my style of dress...].
I met them in person at a recent model exhibition, and had a great chat with them, nice friendly chaps.
I had a look this evening at some of their new items, and was going to buy a few as Xmas prezzies for likeminded chums..

So far so remote from genderwoo...

Then I saw that they are selling a rainbow-themed keyring in aid of 'a leading LGBTQ+ charity'😡
I was going to contact them and ask 'which one, because I care about where my money goes', but it's obviously not the LGB Alliance, and all the other LGBTQ+ organisations are much of a muchness, so what's the point?

Nothing is safe. Even railway nerds.😟

What the heck is going on?

@MarieDeGournay Probably best to keep your head down & let them get on with it. Here's a sweet (& rather Bluestocking) thing from facebook to take your mind off it:

https://www.facebook.com/reel/851142734234390

I completely forgot to finish a job application that is due at 9am.

Remembered at 10.30pm. So it's taken till now to finalise it and submit it. But it is in. Now I have to unwind before sleeping.

Oh and their equality monitoring form had Cisgender woman for gender. Then asked if my gender identity is the same as that assigned at birth. Then it asked for my SEX and had the exact same options: Cisgender male/female, non-binary, transgender etc.

It's the recruitment agency but I was angry and I don't want to scupper my chances of a job.

Bloody gerbils that's what!

My soup defrosted for lunch turned out to be very strong lamb gravy made with red wine and red current jelly.

At this time of year, may I suggest small children are stuffed up chimneys immediately. They will clean out last year's debris, and if you leave them up there, they will prevent draughts.

delicious but disconcerting

Won't they get in Santa's way?

Santa is not for grown ups.
If you're sticking with Santa, you won't need my parenting tips. But do feel free to buy yourself some very expensive jewellery. And my book.

Good point well made. Although I will still buy some very expensive jewellery (that's the best kind of jewellery). And your book.

Ah, my first fan.....< does happy dance>

Maud is warming up for the final stretch of winning "The Maud".

She's going for a jog. On her return she will be locking as many of the gerbils as she can find in a basement that has no wifi.

Place your orders for the day now as service in the pub may be affected.

@SionnachRuadh - I love Calvin and Hobbes - I only learned about them on FB - for some reason they completely bypassed me up to that point. I would love a tiger that came to life. I have asked dh if we could adopt a tiger cub, and it could come and live with us, and he says no. He is so mean. He reckons it would eat us, but I think, if we had it from a tiny cub, it would grow up thinking it was just a big cat.

I am right, aren't I?

<eyes chimney>
<eyes loud, irate 7 yr old relative>
She's quite skinny, she'd fit. If I stuffed her up there it would mute the yells, but would smoke the room out when I lit the fire. Which is cheaper than the central heating.

Also, it would upset Batshit, who likes children (they give her cuddles).

You're right of course, Android.. I no longer wish to give them any money.. but their their enamel badge depicting 1970s vintage Northern Ireland Railways 101 class Hunslet loco No.102 "Falcon" is gorgeous😟
Hey ho.

You were also right that the FB thing would take my mind off it
It's sweet, I'm sure that's what our gerbils' home life is like... if they have a home life, maybe the Bluestocking is their entire world...

Yes, you're definitely right Woley.

Maud has more outfits than Barbie.

And is an entirely more appropriate role model. Go Maud...!

She bought tons of stuff after she did a stint on the Style and Beauty board!

She's rounded up as many gerbils as she can find.

Some are still on the loose!

Ignore the banging and shouting coming from the basement.