Trans men and the menopause

[Senso]

Hello. I’m new here and am looking for information and support.

My DP’s niece is 21 and in the process of transitioning from “her” to “they” to “him”. Currently she is “they”.

Whilst I’m glad they have the support they need from the family, it worries me greatly that the effects on the body are not being properly understood. IMO they are too young to fully grasp the enormity of the road ahead given that they are biologically female.

As a perimenopausal woman myself, I know that one simply does not fully comprehend just how big a change it is until you are going through it yourself. DP certainly does not but he is a man after all. However his sister has gone through menopause so she has experienced it.

I realise that it is not my place to say too much of my own personal opinion and DP’s sister is frankly a nightmare to deal with at the best of times so mostly I keep quiet. But I have made it clear to DP that whilst I am supportive of his niece on a human level, I will not collude in the delusion that she will ever be anything other than biologically female.

what worries me the most is the hormones. We know how they change the body and I cannot fathom how DPs sister isn’t more concerned about what will happen to her biologically female child when the time comes for a woman to go through the biggest hormonal change since puberty.

any advice welcome. TIA

https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-175

“What really happens to the female body on testosterone”

Neurodiversity and the menopause are not friends. The symptoms of menopause can be worse if you have ADHD or autism. It's something that only just starting to be recognised.

But good luck getting a neurodiversity diagnosis as a female.

Endometriosis and PMDD are more common in women with neurodiversity too, but good luck getting a diagnosis and treatment.

Given we now now that gender dysmorphia is more common in girls with neurodiversity, you'd think people would start joining the dots and taking fucking about with hormones and hormone imbalances in any female diagnosed more seriously.

But no, the 'solution' seems to be to fuck them up even more.

If your partners family aren't taking this seriously they are monsters.

Honestly I don't have time for pandering to politeness on this.

The issue you have here is that you’re seeking information to back up your gut feelings - you will find all of it and much more.

but it’s unlikely you’ll be able to pass any of this on to her or her mother without damaging relationships. This is a very difficult situation.

Or you can have the attitude Red has and find the right piece of info that you think will make the right point at the right time.

and emphasise it is delivered with love and genuine concern.

To be fair, she's 21. Being 45 or 50 is something you just don't think about at that age, however you "identify".

i wonder if Bayswater might be helpful for you?

it’s more for parents with concerns about children, and how to sensitively navigate that to maintain relationships but ensure least harm.

This must be so difficult to watch your niece going through. I saw the DDof an acquaintance doing it to herself and that was bad enough.

Thr sort of doctors who are prepared to medically induce a serious hormonal imbalance leading to serious lifting health problems that are likely to require surgery among other things are not the sort of doctors to properly inform their patients of this.

There is a trans identifying female doctor in Brighton who has been threatened with court actions and sanctions to try and stop her doing things against medical guidelines. Another private clinic has set up a complex off shore legal structure to evade UK regulation in this so they can harm more children with puberty blockers and hormones.

At this rate, they will have to change the name of this generation from Gen Z-ers to Gen Zimmers. From Zoomers to Zimmers. What a sad state of affairs.

No she's 21 and considering going through menopause in her twenties.

I wish people would fully grasp what deciding to take cross hormones means for women.

Poor girl. I hope all the dip shit adults who are currently pushing this extremist gender ideology will one day come to see how irresponsible they have been.

What can you do though op? If your SIL won’t listen and your niece is in the full throws of drinking the kool aid on this there isn’t a lot you can do. Is your DP minded to intervene? Or send some of those links above to his sister?

If not, I fear you’re just going to have to quietly let her get on with it. The medical profession are colluding in this so you’re fighting an uphill battle.

If this person takes the medical route to so called transition, they will enter menopause and most certainly have very early onset vaginally atrophy and osteoporosis. Cross sex hormones have a devastating effect on females more so than men.

This.
she will not even get the chance to build up strong bones with her own female hormones if she is on blockers. Perimenopause will be the least of her problems, there will be many others before then.

our female hormones keep our female body functioning properly- ligaments and connective tissue holding our organs in place, absorption of calcium for bones, sexual function, ability to reproduce… not to mention brain development. Puberty brings an adult brain 🧠. She will miss out on all this.

as for communicating this news, I don’t think you’ll be thanked for it sadly, so have a think about that. Better to be quietly supportive of your DN without attending to the transition at all maybe?

It’s not unkind to double check her doctors have been through the side effects. It’s not unkind to check she understands the implications of early menopause, but I would echo a pp and agree she is free to make really bad decisions at her age, just like we can all marry a terrible person against everyone’s advice, and probably ruin our lives!
It is not interfering to double check it’s an informed decision, and if she’s been informed, let her get on with it. Families are full of weirdness you overlook, and tolerance is a two way street so she should tolerate your scepticism.

Who 'understands the implications of menopause' at 21 let alone bloody 41? Even the medical professionals don't understand the bloody implications of menopause at the normal age. You can't just walk away from this insanity saying 'Aah well, you knew you would end up in a wheelchair so we just let you get on with it'.

Yes. Sadly the damage is irreversible. Premature death is a real possibility.

My friend transitioned in their 40s and complained a lot of uterine pain on testosterone. They’re approaching 50 and their female hormones really took over erratically (unexpectedly for them) so they paid privately for a full hysterectomy including the ovaries to induce full menopause without the fluctuations of perimenopause and seem to be quite happy and settled now on the testosterone. I’m not sure how that works but it seems to for them.

I’m not an expert in any means on this but I know a lot of trans men and every single one insists the testosterone and blockers overrides the female hormones but in my friends case this didn’t happen. An acquaintance also ended up Pregnant assuming taking testosterone and not having periods meant they couldn’t get pregnant. There needs to be more information on this, it really ought to be studied so that those who choose to transition can make a fully informed decision.

There is already a lot of research. What I don't understand is why the hell would anyone think that trying to overhaul your whole endocrine system would NOT cause massive damage? It really seems so obvious but I appreciate that a lot of people have been hoodwinked. My heart goes out to young people who have been told, not only that this is safe but that it is necessary for them to function in the world. Sorry but it makes me simultaneously furious and heartbroken.

This is what is so worrying and yet another indication of how women’s health is given secondary status over this batshit ideology.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9796635/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4581591/ https://www.thelancet.com/journals/landia/article/PIIS2213-8587(21)00185-6/abstract where do we start? i would be devastated if it was my child . i know there is a trans male Dr on this board who once did an AMA, I always wonder how they can reconcile the long term health impacts of their medication.

This must be very hard to watch, OP. My sympathies.

https://segm.org/studies

A collection of evidence here.

There needs to be more information on this, it really ought to be studied so that those who choose to transition can make a fully informed decision.

I’m not sure anyone, especially youngsters with m/h problems should be allowed to literally ruin their health for cosmetic reasons that frequently don’t even achieve the desired goal of ‘passing’ (due to reality of our sexed bodies). Definitely not on the NHS.

I agree 100%

the physical damage going into early menopause is catastrophic enough without then furthering the damage by not supporting the lost hormones but adding male ones. It is literal madness.

DP’s family don’t seem to grasp this in favour of blindly supporting DN in her choice of gender. In fact I would go as far as to say that DN’s mother seems to be proud that her own gender ideology has been taken on by her offspring to the extent that her daughter has decided to destroy her body to please her mother. It makes me question the whole family and actually my relationship with DP too.

She needs to look into effects of testosterone on female bodies. Early menopause and total destruction of pelvic floor, with incontinence and prolapses usually seen in 70 year old women happening to young females. Its brutal.