Another breastfeeding one

[MisssCackle]

Couldn’t see a thread on this.
In the latest of Breastfeeding batshittery..‘Breastfeeding and Lactation Support UK’ have today posted this.

I am so angered by it. The UK breastfeeding rates are amongst some of the lowest globally. We should be empowering women, not erasing them. Encouraging them to leave if they disagree?? They should be ashamed.

Ok, Nelly.

Yes which is why I’m not recommending your group to any of my trans identifying community. You have accused me of transphobia when in fact you are the ones excluding lots of folx, using offensive terms and being rude.

But you are! You are shutting down a group who don’t feel the approved way.

Look, I absolutely get welcoming trends men in to the group. Absobloodylutely.

Let people refer to themselves as a Dad if they want, post about chest feeding- whatever language they are comfortable with. But why stop another set of people using the language they are comfortable with?

It’s normal that some people feel like queens, and that some feel like a hot mess. Let them all speak.

She appears to be doing that herself

Were not though we are inclusive of all lactating people however they refer to themselves. If a trans person joined and wanted us to use the term chest feeding for them personally we would absolutely do that the same way when speaking to those who identify as female and use breastfeeding we will use the language they prefer. When addressing the whole group we will be gender neutral.

They can use whatever language they want when referring to themselves 🤦🏼‍♀️ they can't assume what 57000+ other people identity as though.

It's astonishing that you consider it so 'reducing' and insulting to address a new mother as 'mum' and yet you feel it is entirely appropriate to say 'doll' or 'babe' instead. I've genuinely never heard women call each other by such terms. Are you are transwoman? Because calling breastfeeding mothers 'doll' is something I bet they imagine we do, just like we all flick our hair around and giggle and call each other 'girls' while doing our make up in the 'girls' bathroom. I cannot believe you are who you say you ate.

Not at all. The fact that you’re carrying on and trying to damage someone’s career, who also has kids btw is disgusting.

considering this post was all about your fears of ‘being erased’ and not included and looking to it for other women, it’s a bit contradictory don’t you think?

your behaviour is way more shameful here. You can’t tell me otherwise.

No one’s trying to damage her career. We’re trying to keep hold of language that’s being phased out of places where it’s needed.

We work hard to teach children correct language for safeguarding reasons.
We need correct language for statistics and service provision.

Hell, we need correct language for self respect.

It’s fine to use all the words and non words you like, but don’t stop other people using their words too.

Why would you think I don’t care about people’s choices around their identity when I just tried to explain that many women embrace the identity of being a mother and don’t see it as an insult or as something to hide/ a word to avoid using…

I find being called ‘doll’ rude fyi. I thought your focus on inclusiveness comes from a drive to be respectful and kind.

no, she appears to be defending minority groups against transphobia from people who literally can’t understand the difference between saying “hi mums” and “hi everyone”.

You’re making up your own drama about erasing women when there is no erasure of ANYONE in inclusive language. Imagine being SO hateful that you can’t even say hi to everyone without it hurting your ego.

“not all men.”
“white lives matter too.”
“why can’t they come legally?”
”stop erasing women.”

these people just want to EXIST.

No I'm a cis woman, fab, biological woman or whatever term you want to use. I am a mother, I breastfed both of mine until they naturally weaned. I created the group in question..

When acting in a professional capacity I use professional language ... When I am not acting in a professional capacity I don't have to use professional language.

It’s not calling other adults mummy. It’s calling other adults ladies. Or anything relating to being female.

Why should we be erased in this way?Stephen Fry and chums were sitting in one of the breaks in the cricket last week talking about prostate cancer awareness and telling men over 50 to get themselves checked. Is that offensive? Are you going to write to him and tell him the terms he needs to be using are penis people or prostate havers? Or is the really offensive idea the one that insists on reducing women to the sum of their body parts and censoring our free speech and ability to self-define, but not men? Never men.

And, btw, I was a woman who breastfed. I find this nonsense misogynistic and offensive. By all means, use separate terminology for women who view themselves as non-women if you must, but don’t erase me in the process. Giving birth and raising kids is hard enough.

Threatening to go to the NMC (who also promote inclusivity btw) is an attempt to damage her career

have you even heard yourselves? It’s embarrassing

but you're not being gender neutral. You’re being very offensive to trans folx. You still haven’t explained why you are excluding transmen. Unless of course you don’t believe transmen are really men. I hope you at least include transwomen?

Err… the term biological woman is also offensive. It suggests that transwomen are not women and excludes them. You will be saying next that transwomen are excluded from your group.

Who is erasing you? You can use whatever language you want when discussing yourself..when addressing 57000+ people who's gender you don't know why would you refer to them as ladies?
Many cis women also don't like being called ladies either they find it classist, so again just saying Hi all or Hi everyone includes every group member not just some of the members.

Ah I missed that. It’s a fast moving thread.

You know, you’ve come on here in a really aggressive way shouting women down, being rude and condescending. I’m not embarrassed by my posts. I am not impressed by your behaviour though. It’s like a pack of school girls getting mouthy on the bus.

I’m going to leave you to it, but I really hope that there’s a chink in your smugness that lets you hear what the other women on here are trying to tell you. Because it’s worth listening to.

So it's more for attention and perceived clout then? Because its certainly not about supporting new mothers is it.

I think this thread has been really useful in highlighting just how dangerous these faceless online 'support' groups are. We need to be encouraging mothers back to real-life, in-person breastfeeding support groups. The internet is a cess-pit and, as clearly demonstrated here, there are people controlling groups with some very dark purposes, under the guide of support.

Becky love, when your group gave advice to mums on positioning that involved the use of two well functioning arms, that advice was no good for me. You didn't consider that there would be people like me with musculoskeletal challenges. But I can assure you there are women out there with chronic carpal tunnel, tendinitis, amputees, limb differences, CP, MS, etc in MUCH greater numbers than women who do not identify as such, who your general advice may not apply to. When giving such advice in the future, please, please preface it with: "IF YOU ARE ABLE, put this hand this way, that arm that way". It just makes people like me feel seen. Thanks hun.

I would like to know how many babies each year are given birth to by women who think they’re men. They can’t truly think that they are a man though seeing as they’re doing something that only women can do. I.e give birth. Baffling.

Which is why I used many terms to state that I am a female, born a female, identify as female etc. Other people use the term Bio woman for themselves I personally don't use that but others can hence including within a list of other phrases used.

It’s funny that you are asking for people to be verified when we know nothing about you either.

No. No true trans folx would use the harmful language expressed here by them. I think they are just pretending to be inclusive whilst doing real harm to the vulnerable trans community