What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex?

[FattyMcFattyArse]

I've been pondering this ever since the FWS decision and since I saw an obviously male transperson using the ladies at a service station. I initially froze and wanted to say something, but all my Britishness and female social conditioning made me just mutter under my breath and walk away in disgust.

What would you do?

What have you done?

What is the right thing to do?

They don't belong there, according to the law.

Would probably go to the disabled if I can access it. If not, no idea. If I was with my DP potentially the mens with him.

If it’s a male person with a penis deliberately entering spaces reserved for females to protect their safety, privacy and dignity then that makes it my business.

HTH @Christinapple

And yet you can't quite bring yourself to call him 'she'

Ahhh so @Numbersaremything stuff the dignity and respect of any woman as long as he’s ok? Wow! Were you naturally this misogynistic or did someone hurt you?

Been in this situation a few times before SC ruling, was uncertain what to say/do so did nothing.

Last time was at Christmas on 2hr ferry crossing, toilet block was in centre of lounge area - so from where we were sitting there was a good view of the women’s toilets. I’d clocked him as we came in. He used the ladies three times, spending a good 15 minutes each time. Girls were coming and going on their own all during this time. It was distressing to see. All those girls being indoctrinated that a man in a single sex space is safe.

In that situation now I’d wait outside where there’s others around and challenge him when he came out ‘ you’re not supposed to be in there, please don’t go in again’. And tell a member of staff.

On my own, in an isolated space, I’d leave immediately and report.

It’s happened to me in the gym, despite being someone who’s not normally afraid to speak up I didn’t confront them or complain.

The gym I go to has 3 changing areas, male, female and mixed sex/disabled with lockable individual floor to ceiling cubicles.

The female changing rooms is mostly open with only 4 cubicles. The first time I encountered a trans identified male in the female changing rooms was after I’d been for a swim. There was an aqua fit class finishing at the same time I was getting out the pool, so there was circa 30 women all heading to the changing rooms at the same time.

I go swimming 3 times a week and so you often get chatting with people you see regularly in the changing rooms or see other people chatting with friends etc, it’s always noisy with hair dryers / people talking to one another but it’s a relaxed friendly atmosphere.

This time was different though, you could hear a pin drop. Women who would normally be chatting with each other and changing in the open areas were standing dripping wet with their towels wrapped round them queuing for the cubicles. They weren’t chatting, they were either looking at the floor or nervously giving each other knowing sideways glances. It took me a moment to process why everyone in the changing rooms were acting so strangely, I glanced over to where the mirrors and hair dryers were and I understood why.

There was only one person sat in front of the mirrors applying makeup and it was very obviously a man who identified as a woman. He spent ages applying makeup and drying his hair (despite it being completely dry) whilst he was doing this he was looking at the women in the mirror standing behind him waiting for cubicles. And when I say looking I mean lingering, not looking away if you noticed him looking at you, like an uncomfortable stare (not just a passing glance).

The women in the changing rooms all clearly felt uncomfortable, altered their behaviour, didn’t change in the open areas, didn’t hang around to dry their hair, chat or put make up on. We all just waited for a cubicle then got out of there as quickly as possible.

I didn’t say anything because when you’re 5”1 dripping wet in a swimsuit you feel quite vulnerable, especially when the person you would be confronting is a 6ft man who’s already comfortable transgressing women’s boundaries, even when a 3rd space is available.

He is not permitted to do so. Women's single sex spaces are for women, not men, (however they identify).

The unhealthy obsession from transwomen seeking validation from biological women harms biological women.

If you want clarification as to the meaning of biological women, then there’s a Supreme Court judgment that will lay it all out for you.

You are the only one I've noticed on this thread concerned with what this hypothetical person has "between their legs".

Even my tongue in cheek "short survey" didn't include it.

This happened 3 years ago while I was on holiday in Canada.

I took my 15 yo daughter to the ladies toilet in McDonald’s. Walked in and there was a man urinating while standing with the door wide open.

Grabbed my daughter (ASD and vulnerable) and said loudly we had to leave as there was a man in the ladies toilets.

Once outside, I told the staff and a woman went in to investigate. The man followed her out, found me and came over and said "I'm a woman, I can use those toilets". Women don't piss standing up with the door wide open!

The upshot is that now I won't allow my daughter to go to the toilets alone even though she is 18 and wants the independence.

This is a really odd post.

Both you and your cousin know he has no right to be in womens toilets, yet you expect women and girls to show him respect?

What are you planning to do to ensure girls show your cousin respect?

You arent planning to intimidate women and girls to not reporting a man using the womens toilet, are you?

what exactly do you mean when you say harming all women?

Like the person who calls themself "Lily Tino" did in the Disneyland ladies toilets and posted all over social media you mean?

I'd get out ASAP and help any more vulnerable women to leave. Any man who can blatantly lie about his sex cannot be trusted. Once out I'd report it.

I hope that swimming pool is abiding by the Equalities Act now

What a shame they were too stupid to understand it in the first place.

Why would it be a sex offence to take a photo of a man (presumably clothed) in the Ladies, but it would not be a sex offence for the man to be in the Ladies in the first place? Would it be a sex offence if the "man" was actually a woman?

Actually, I don't think it would be a great idea to take the photo and post it on social media, but the idea that it would be a sex offence to do so suggests that you think that toilets are places associated with sexual activity.

When I was five I froze in absolute terror. I was so frightened to be in what I thought was a safe place but turned out to be a man's sexual fantasy with the escape route blocked.
When I was six I swivelled on one foot and left quickly.
When I was 14 us girls all shouted, screamed and told him to **&#! Off!
Today I say "you are not supposed to be in here" and report it if possible.

I feel like this is leading to having to have cameras installed outside the entrance of public toilets. Nothing inside of course, but cameras showing who's coming in or out. That way if someone goes in who is not supposed to be there there will be concrete evidence and if someone files a complaint, even anonymously, the footage can be checked and the venue or the authorities can take whatever action they need to.

God, I seriously cannot believe these men are so intent in their sense of entitlement to invade women's spaces that it would come to this, but unless there is a physical deterrent I think you're going to have a class of men who are just going to keep doing it.

They are not "minding their own business" - they have entered a ladies loo!

Nobody will think that. Transwomen almost invariably have long hair/bad wigs, lots of makeup and a lovely frilly skirt.
Oh and they're men.

No transwomen look anything like a butch lesbian. The whole idea is to look as "feminine" as possible. I mean, they don't often succeed but that's always the goal.

Yes it was a satire linked to my previous post about asking the transwoman / cis man to fill in a short survey.

We get asked a lot: what about those who have transitioned 20 years ago/are a butch lesbian/were a victim of violence in the male toilets/have gone through the GRC process.

Of course women might sometimes be mistaken for men in a woman's facility. In most cases it'll be obvious on second glance or from the woman speaking, and would happen whether trans exist or not.

The alternative is allowing any man in any women's facility (it's not just about toilets) without challenge just in case someone's wrong.

TRAs like to claim that we will be all mistaking biological women for men to get them in our side.

Absolutely nothing. I would use the cubicle for my purposes and go about my day

That would include quite a lot of TIMs then. Many of their "bathroom selfies" include women in the background. I assume that's the point actually.

I've seen elsewhere that women have been encouraged to keep an aerosol spray can of deodorant or body spray and spray it in the eyes of a male they see in the facility, which I agree with. We can't carry pepper spray but body spray is legal to carry in your handbag or shoulder bag and body spray to the face temporarily blinding a male would stop these males entering female spaces in their tracks if they knew it was likely to happen. We have to do something to stop them entering female only spaces. That might be the solution.