What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex?

[FattyMcFattyArse]

I've been pondering this ever since the FWS decision and since I saw an obviously male transperson using the ladies at a service station. I initially froze and wanted to say something, but all my Britishness and female social conditioning made me just mutter under my breath and walk away in disgust.

What would you do?

What have you done?

What is the right thing to do?

They don't belong there, according to the law.

I came across a man in the ladies toilets at a service station. The toilets had two cubicles and a handwashing basin and there wasn't enough room to swing a cat. He was stood at the sinks washing his hands. The door was propped open and I had to do a double check to see peer in and see that the sign on the door was indeed a woman. He was not dressed like a trans woman, just looking like a trucker. Once I'd ascertained he was in the wrong space I tried to get his attention and pointed at the sign (we were abroad and I assumed he didn't speak English). He just shrugged and carried on washing his hands. Meanwhile my young daughter and I waited outside in the corridor until he was finished. No way was I squeezing past him trapping myself in a confined space with him. Had he been a larping man I probably wouldn't have said anything and walked past and waited at a safe distance until he'd finished.

did you mean to sound so misogynistic ideas that a typo

your words were

I have better things to do than scrutinise everyone who uses a public toilet to try to spot a trans woman.

implying that there is something wrong with women who are instinctively aware of the presence of men, especially men in places where they're not supposed to be

I would find it really weird if there was a woman in a public toilet who was staring at everyone who comes in an out by the way...that would make me feel uncomfortable.

I don't need to stare at people to know when I'm in the presence of a man

Males who have a hard life deserve sympathy.

Women who have a hard life are 'fragile' and should be sneered at.

It's pretty clear which sex this poster considers more valuable.

Take your CAPS LOCK off and use your words like an adult.

Why do you care more about male feelings, than the feelings of women and girls, including rape survivors and DV victims, Velmy?

Please show me where I've said anything of the sort.

The question was: What would you do if you saw a trans person in a toilet/changing room. My answer was 'nothing', because I'm not even remotely bothered by them, and have no reason to believe they're any more or less likely to do me harm than anyone else.

I understand why rape/DV victims might be uncomfortable around men/trans people, but that doesn't mean the rest of us have to demonize them and live our lives in fear.

I'd actively warm other females about to enter the space as well as to the presence of a male.

If they weren't bothering me or anyone else I'd let them be. No need to do anything.

Yes, they can join the massive queues we have at busy times.

When it boils down to it, it seems that some men just want everything that women have, to deliberately cause fear and discomfort.

And sadly, they have the support of some women. What a let down!

I understand why rape/DV victims might be uncomfortable around men

great. Do you think it might be kind to ensure such women have single sex toilet and changing facilities?

Okay. I shall elaborate.

I was in the locked toilet. When I came out, the man in a dress, wig, and lipstick was at the sink, frotting himself against it.

He had clearly followed me into the ladies. When I came out he became visibly more excited. Is that enough elaboration for you? I was seventeen.

I left, as quickly and quietly as I could.

But they are bothering people. They are bothering women who have the legal right to single sex spaces.

So ok. If you’re ok with sharing spaces with men, why don’t you use the unisex facilities with your trans brethren and leave those women who do want single sex spaces to have them?

the fact you’re not telling males with a trans identity to stop making women uncomfortable but telling women to “reframe their trauma” to make these males comfortable show you know fine well they’re not women, you just hate women.

and that's completely fine. Thinking men in women's spaces isn't a problem is a legit point of view.

the poster has also not been rude about women who are not OK with men in women's spaces

It's got to be OK to state that opinion here. People can hold that opinion, but as noted earlier, the fact that there are women who are NOT comfortable with men in women's spaces means men need to stay out.

I can't see that this will inconvenience this poster in any way. If she actively desires mixed sex facilities she can seek them out, and being solely in the presence of women in women's facilities is unlikely to be a problem for her

I would do what I have always done, and point out they are in the female toilet/changing room.

I have actually done this 4 times in the last 6 months, pointed out to a man that he was walking into the ladies, pointed out to a woman she was about to walk into the gents, and also told 2 men they had been in the ladies. The first 2 were grateful, the latter 2 were mortified and apologetic. I had no idea if these people considered themselves to be trans.

Why do you think having female only spaces 'demonises' males?

Males in a female only space, by definition are bothering us. It's sad you wouldn't step up to defend the privacy and dignity of women and little girls.

I'm sure those people would find that kind.

I still wouldn't bat an eyelid if I saw a trans woman in the loo, because I have no reason to.

I'm sincerely so glad that you can just get on with your life without concern.

Again, I truly hope you are never accosted by a male predator in the ladies toilets.

However, is there not a teeny weeny bit of understanding for women and girls that feel differently, for their own reasons?

Assuming they must be there to rape you demonizes them.

I think you need to understand when you say 'trans women', you are talking about males. Fully intact males with male strength, height and male lived experience and Male Privilege.

Are you used to having fully intact actual males in the ladies and in your change rooms?

Here's a question for all the people responding that they wouldn't do anything because they don't have a problem with it.

What would you do if you saw a male going into the female toilets, and then saw a young girl (about 6ish) going in on her own afterwards? Would your actions change based on how the male was dressed and how he presented himself?

and there's nothing wrong with that.

You think these men have a perfectly innocent motivation to be in women's single sex spaces and I disagree with you. That's OK

However I would suggest to you that characterising women who are uncomfortable getting naked around strange men as 'fragile' isn't very kind.

What would you do if you saw a child or woman who was ‘bothered’ by a male person’s presence in the female single sex facility?

God, these men have played an absolute blinder haven't they? Got to give it to them really...

Who said we assume they are there to rape us?

Again, how does defending female only spaces from males 'demonise' males? And why don't you care about defending womens rights?