What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex?

[FattyMcFattyArse]

I've been pondering this ever since the FWS decision and since I saw an obviously male transperson using the ladies at a service station. I initially froze and wanted to say something, but all my Britishness and female social conditioning made me just mutter under my breath and walk away in disgust.

What would you do?

What have you done?

What is the right thing to do?

They don't belong there, according to the law.

The thing I never understand is how - when we know the lengths some predatory men will go to, to get access to vulnerable women and girls - people just don't see that some of said men will notice that putting on a dress and saying they're a woman supposedly gives them a free pass to spaces where they can find said women and girls.

That is not saying that all men who say they're women are predators. Clearly, that's not the case. But the belief that "everyone is who they say they are", and should be treated as such, means we have to let the predators in too. We don't know who they are by looking.

I would do nothing. It really wouldn't bother me. I think the person would probably feel safer in the ladies' loos than the men's, and I would let them be.

I haven’t got to the end of the thread yet, but the overwhelming majority seem to be saying they wouldn’t take action, mostly out of fear, or because they’ve been so conditioned not to ‘make a fuss’. (This would also be my response).

It throws considerable doubt on the idea that TW are vulnerable to abuse from nasty GC cis women, doesn’t it? It also explains why TW insist ‘no one minds’ when they are in women’s spaces. It also shows that the idea that butch women are constantly being challenged and abused in women’s facilities is largely absolute bollocks.

Cool. Personally I have no issue with it. I expect their lives are hard enough without having to worry about whether they'll be made to feel unwelcome by fragile women in a changing room, so I'm happy to live and let live.

So I need to elaborate yet you admit you only give curt responses?

Okay, seeing as you need it explaining:
I'm concerned that a male waiting at the sink in the ladies toilet, might be waiting to hurt me.

Is that better?

@mugglewump I know some vulnerable elderly men and gay men and small men and disabled men who might also feel safer in the ladies. Shall we invite all of them in?

Why should males get to feel 'safer' at our expense, @mugglewump . Females are not human shields for males. Why about my need to 'feel safe' in a female only intimate space? Don't we trauma victims have rights?

Btw, transwomen are very safe in the males, as has been said on here by others the worst they get, by transwomens own admission, is a smirk from other males. This is not and never was about 'safety'. It's about their VALIDATION as a woman, and using women in the space to give them validation.

@Velmy Women who are afraid when men are in their facilities are fragile, but men who are afraid to be in men’s facilities are not fragile? How does that work?

Yes I reported it. Details were taken but that was all that happened as far as I know.

''@Shortshriftandlethal

Don't be daft! Nobody stands staring at the door. When a man enters a female only space you are very definitely aware of it straight away''

As I said in my comment, I don't loiter in female toilet staring at everyone else who is using them at the same time as me. I do my business and then come back out.

If your only argument is ''don't be daft'' you have already lost by the way. I don't mind people having different opinions and making a cohesive argument but this is just puerile...

What kind of places are you going where the men are so dangerous!

Honestly - I have teen/pre-teen boys - if the men's toilets are places where they're likely to be attacked I need to know!

RAPE SURVIVORS LIKE ME have a reason to feel 'fragile'. MY life is hard enough. Why do you care more about male feelings, than the feelings of women and girls, including rape survivors and DV victims, Velmy?

What a silly strawman.

There's a massive difference between giving someone access and authority over young children who can't advocate for themselves and an adult not assuming that everyone is out to attack them whenever they leave the house.

Oh blimey. You were so nearly respectful of the views of other women and then you referred to women who don’t want to get undressed in front of strange men as fragile’

oh dear

You'll find it even more uncomfortable if one day you come face to face with a predatory male in the ladies, whose intent is to harm you.
Obviously, I truly hope that never happens to you as it has to others.

Women are 'fragile'.

But mens lives are 'hard enough' 'without having to worry they've be made to feel unwelcome by the mean women'.

Wow. The cognitive dissonance is real. Women are 'fragile' snowflakes. But, but, but! The poooor menz!!!

''@BernardBlacksMolluscs · Today 10:57
whether the naïveté is feigned or genuine, either way it’s astonishing''

Really?

You can't grasp why I don't busy myself with looking at other people in public toilets?

I am a Londoner and female public toilets in shops, train stations, museums, clubs always have a fair amount of women going in an out at one time and I really never pay much attention to what they look like or to assess whether they are trans or not. Why should I? I just get on with my own life instead.

Words fail me except wow. Just wow.

Then if males are so 'fragile' with other males, maybe they shouldn't leave the house then? Why do you have such double standards?

I find this a weird way to go through life, ignoring everyone around you.

Personally when I go in a toilet I'm looking to see which is open, who else is waiting, if someone comes in and they look like they need it more than me I might offer that they go first etc. I might even exchange a warning that the cubicle I've just exited is out of loo roll etc.

I don't stride in with laser focus on the toilet cubicle, do what I need to do, then stand and wash my hands staring at only myself in the mirror, dry and exit. That's a weirdly selfish way to exist in society I think.

I would leave them alone and get on with my day. This is less than 1% of the population we’re talking about. It’s hard enough being trans without having a wee becoming a war zone. Just leave the poor bastards alone, for goodness sake.

Yes. He wasn't just 'waiting' at the sink, he was rubbing his crotch against it.

I do find it a bit weird that this experience, that happened when I was seventeen, is apparently considered hilarious by some posters.

Obviously it's completely fine for women to be OK with men in the women's loos and to therefore do nothing should they come across such a man.

I think they're misguided, but they think I'm misguided and that's OK.

My problem lies with the posters who mock or belittle other women for having concerns about men in the women's loos.

Wow! Why are you with such an abuser. Run. Run fast and run far. If you’re worried your husband may abuse you there are places to help.

You clearly haven't been the victim of abuse. Leave less than 1% of rapists, predators, drug cheats alone because... 'hey, they're only 1%'? You've never actually thought deeply about this, have you.