What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex?

[FattyMcFattyArse]

I've been pondering this ever since the FWS decision and since I saw an obviously male transperson using the ladies at a service station. I initially froze and wanted to say something, but all my Britishness and female social conditioning made me just mutter under my breath and walk away in disgust.

What would you do?

What have you done?

What is the right thing to do?

They don't belong there, according to the law.

Can you explain why?

I think similarly badly of you so we are even. You are stirring up hatred and it’s gross to see.

It's not all about you. Public spaces have controlled entry because they are full of strangers and basic safeguarding rules need to be applied.

I've never had a problem with bananas, but asparagus can create an allergic reaction.

Good attempt at distraction...

Don't be such a drama queen. This is a discussion forum which was set up to discuss women's sex based rights and protections, and that is what we are discussing. You need to improve your analytical and discussion skills.

knowing

How do you "know"?
Genuine question...

Well in my mind I challenged him and asked him what he was doing there but in reality I just exited the toilet and waited for him to leave before I went in.

But considering that's what Sandie Peggie and other nurses did initially in the changing rooms with Dr Upton I'm sure it made this man "sad". Validation is key to these men. I was not going to put myself in that position. I had my period so, no, I wasn't going to be in an intimate situation in clear hearing of a creepy bloke.

I don’t care about toilets, I’m happy to use unisex toilets so that’s a non-issue for me. But in (communal) changing rooms I’d probably ask staff to remove them.

Couple of years ago I was in the open plan changing room at my gym, just out the shower and only wrapped in a towel. There was an unspoken etiquette where if someone was near your locker you’d wait for them to get their stuff out before getting yours and move along the bench a bit. So no one encroached on anyone’s physical space.

I was getting my clothes out my locker when a man over 6ft (I’m 5ft) with only a towel round his waist started getting his stuff from the locker next to mine. He pressed up against my arm to do this. I moved back and just stared at him, I didn’t say anything I was just frozen. Two other women arrived into the same space and also froze on the spot staring at him and the lady on the opposite bench also stopped and stared. We were all still and silent just staring at him in shock. He looked at all of us, made a huffing sound, grabbed his stuff and flounced off.

It was really odd and uncomfortable, as soon as he huffed off all of us women were in uproar. I spoke to the front desk and they said changing rooms were gender inclusive so me and my family quit that gym.

Id like to think that I’d say something if it ever happened again but it’s such a shock (especially if you’re undressed) that I probably wouldn’t in a gym situation, I’d grab my clothes and go, if other women were speaking up I’d definitely join in.

Many of your fellow TRAs would disagree, if their placards and social media posts are anything to go by.

Says the person reduced to name calling 💅🏻

If only there was an easier way to tell someones sex than looking at their passport
Oh hang on

crikey. If the women on this thread who are claiming that there's no problem with men in the women's loos really don't understand what's motivating these fellas, then they probably shouldn't be allowed out and about by themselves.

@Dominoeffecter
You were laughing at my concern about males waiting at the sink.

Do you find the above incident from @ArabellaScott amusing too?

No because the are clearly poles apart, it’s insulting to compare the two.

Waiting at the sink and wanking in the sink are not the same thing.

And if you were escaping a male?

Rinsing out baby sick from a blouse or blood stained underwear?

It's not about cubicles. It's about the facility itself. Incidentally male toilets also have cubicles. So the males should be completely safe and their privacy also maintained by "locking the door" too, in the the males.

You may be 'absolutely fine' with a male breaching the boundaries, but you don't get to dictate for other women, girls and victims of abuse and trauma. You don't get to give our consent away. If you're so comfortable around males in intimate spaces, why don't you go and use the males then.

I'm so sorry.

Thankyou so much for explaining that to me.
Phew...I no longer have concerns about the possibility of men "waiting at the sink"
As long as they're not wanking....

Hang on, what if they're waiting at the sick for you to come out and then start wanking?

If it was a toilet or a changing room with cubicles, I wouldn't do anything. If it was an open changing room, I would probably leave and tell the shop why.

and further, it's puzzling that women seem to think it's legit to criticise and take the piss out of other women for wanting single sex spaces.

just because you don't want SSS it doesn't mean other women don't. why can't people show a little more empathy?

Probably leave and wait outside until they leave.

This is the issue, really - the law should empower women to speak up in these situations, but in reality any random male could turn violent when opposed and most women are going to be too afraid for their own safety to start a confrontation, especially in an area that's away from the public.

Despite the protestation to the contrary, the tra position is advocating for more loopholes, and boundary erosion by which more women and girls will be harmed. Predators love loopholes. So, ‘Oh, I don’t want anyone to be harmed’ would be a hollow if not downright disingenuous claim from anyone pushing to make it easier for creeps and predators to impact women’s and girl’s lives.

A few weeks ago in a bar/restaurant I walked into the ladies and a man was there washing his hands, he was very obviously trying to get my attention (this has happened a couple of times before), I avoided eye contact and dived into a cubicle, unfortunately it must’ve been the one he used; the seat was up and it was unflushed.
Having had a few experiences now, I’ve learned a few things: I’m not likely to say anything as it’s intimidating and that’s when women generally freeze, it’s all an outlet for a histrionic personality disorder. There are a lot of men out there that enjoy humiliating women and they put the ones that “just want to pee” in the shade.

You are so naive and have not read other womens experiences, obviously, so have no idea how women (and girls) have been accosted by these males at the sink.