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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

“Why aren’t you getting changed”. Man asks female Darlington nurse this 3 times in female changeroom

664 replies

CrocsNotDocs · 11/05/2025 06:47

More details re the Darlington nurses. I don’t know what to say. This is outrageous. Just fucking outrageous.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14698557/I-begged-bosses-not-let-trans-nurse-invaded-changing-room-intimate-operation-refused-didnt-want-hurt-feelings.html

OP posts:
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22
NoFineBalance · 11/05/2025 11:11

I do genuinely think the TRA movement has been a vehicle for psychopaths and misogynists in elevated positions in the workplace. Gatekeeping positions that allow them to influence policies without needing to gain a fair consensus of agreement from the workforce; using vehicles like data protection, complex legal concepts, privacy policies, HR doctrine etc, backed up by third party influencers with a self declared (and unverified) mission of "goodness" and "progressive change". These same people are not the "on the ground" workforce who are at risk from these policies. So they can watch it all pan out from above. Gods of Olympus style. They get their kicks via a facade of caring for the "most vulnerable" group in society, knowing full well this is not the case and watching their genuinely vulnerable minions struggle not to be "bigots" and suffer humiliation and fear in silence. I genuinely do not believe these managers thought they were doing good. Nobody rational and reasonable could.

WandaSiri · 11/05/2025 11:12

potpourree · 11/05/2025 10:54

I think the belief that "a woman is a person who acts a certain way" is partly why we are in this mess. I know what you mean, but female people can act in any way imaginable and still be women. We're socialised to act a certain way but it's a huge generalisation to say "women are like this, men are like that".

I think female socialisation is what PPs were referring to, not innate gendered behaviour/gender identity.

If MCWs were women or seen as female they would have been subjected to the same messages as women and girls.

RiotAndAlarum · 11/05/2025 11:22

God, that poor lady. And bless her colleagues, the original "Darlington nurses" for standing up in front of her. That is a true "front line", and it's disgusting how they've been treated by the organisation behind them.

I'm actually in tears at the way Karen has been treated, again and again.

ProfessorFellatioHornblower · 11/05/2025 11:27

It wasn't an empty threat to refuse to do Karen's operation. Can anyone remember the lady who wrote to a London (private?) hospital asking for single sex care and they refused to do her operation? I've searched but I can't remember her name.

Datun · 11/05/2025 11:28

ProfessorFellatioHornblower · 11/05/2025 11:27

It wasn't an empty threat to refuse to do Karen's operation. Can anyone remember the lady who wrote to a London (private?) hospital asking for single sex care and they refused to do her operation? I've searched but I can't remember her name.

Yes I remember her, and she nearly died because it was a life-saving operation which they cancelled. It was only when she went to the papers that they capitulated.

HaveYouActuallyDoneAnyWashingThisWeekMum · 11/05/2025 11:28

StellaAndCrow · 11/05/2025 07:03

"She tells me that last summer, after legal papers had been served and after The Mail on Sunday had broken the story of the Darlington nurses, Karen needed an urgent hysterectomy, after years of problems with endometriosis. It was to be carried out at the Darlington Memorial – where everyone involved worked – but just a few weeks before the procedure she discovered, to her horror, that Rose was scheduled to be on duty in the operating theatre on that day, and would be part of the surgical team.

‘It was a gynaecological procedure, and his role would have been down at that end, passing the consultant the tools,’ she says, incredulous. She immediately pointed out the obvious (as she thought) issue here. ‘I told them that because there was a legal dispute under way, involving Rose, it was a conflict of interest, and entirely inappropriate that he should be involved in my surgery, especially intimate surgery like that.

‘Separately, there was the issue of my childhood abuse. I made it clear that I wanted as few men in that room as possible. I was told, “Well, Rose is a woman so Rose has a right to be there”.

‘The theatre manager also said, “How would Rose feel if she was asked not to come to theatre?”.’

Karen was dumbstruck. ‘I said, “Frankly, and sorry to be blunt, but I don’t care how Rose feels”. It made no sense. Shifts are changed all the time. They didn’t even have to tell Rose a reason, if they were worried about that.’

Karen escalated her complaint, putting her concerns in writing. ‘And I got an email back saying that they could not accommodate my request [for Rose to be replaced]. They said they would cancel the operation, and I could go elsewhere. I couldn’t believe it. I needed that operation, and I’d been with my consultant for years. After everything, I felt I was being punished. I said, “I am asking this as a patient”, but they didn’t care.’"

Fucking outrageous.

This and what happened to the wonderful Cerys have made my blood boil over several times this weekend. The endless gaslighting and pandering to the (in these cases, abusive) male ego.

If people aren’t getting this issue now, there’s something wrong with them.

Fargo79 · 11/05/2025 11:29

I love the photos of the nurses walking into court. Brave, powerful women.

I don't think the DM article actually conveys the level of hostility that all of them have faced from the NHS. To remain steadfast to their cause and loyal to their colleague even in the face of this huge organisation is awe inspiring. I hope somebody makes a film about this one day.

Kinsters · 11/05/2025 11:39

Yes. The SC ruling was the begining of the end imo. Stories like this reinforce that it is well past time. Shon Faye said it best...enjoy your erasure lads.

RedToothBrush · 11/05/2025 11:44

NoFineBalance · 11/05/2025 11:11

I do genuinely think the TRA movement has been a vehicle for psychopaths and misogynists in elevated positions in the workplace. Gatekeeping positions that allow them to influence policies without needing to gain a fair consensus of agreement from the workforce; using vehicles like data protection, complex legal concepts, privacy policies, HR doctrine etc, backed up by third party influencers with a self declared (and unverified) mission of "goodness" and "progressive change". These same people are not the "on the ground" workforce who are at risk from these policies. So they can watch it all pan out from above. Gods of Olympus style. They get their kicks via a facade of caring for the "most vulnerable" group in society, knowing full well this is not the case and watching their genuinely vulnerable minions struggle not to be "bigots" and suffer humiliation and fear in silence. I genuinely do not believe these managers thought they were doing good. Nobody rational and reasonable could.

Most vulnerable groups tend to have an incredible amount of invisibility.

If you have hundreds of days of 'awareness' campaigning you are not invisible.

DoNotAdjustYourSex · 11/05/2025 11:46

This has made me emotional and angry in equal measure. When I first started following this topic back in 2018, I was incredulous at what I found and that incredulity continued for a couple of years. As an old hand, I keep thinking I’ve seen it all, but every so often another event comes along, and I find myself asking, how can this happen, how can they not see how wrong this is, how, just how, just fucking how is this considered ethical, correct, the law?

ArabellaScott · 11/05/2025 11:50

inigomontoyahwillcox · 11/05/2025 10:48

I am so so livid on behalf of Karen. It shows in stark light and focus how captured organisations are willing to throw women under a bus to maintain their support of the ideology.

I was retraining to become a theatre AHP a
few years back but left the course half way through, mainly because I’d suffered a major medical event just prior to starting the course and was placed in the same hospital (and got zero support from the uni when I said I was struggling, was actually diagnosed with PTSD) but also partially because of my discomfort of sharing a changing room with a transwoman and my knowledge that there was no way in this world I would be able to complain without it impacting me negatively. So I just left.

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Assuming the transwoman you mention is neither Dr Upton nor Rose, that's the third transwoman Ive heard of who has affected female HCPs detrimentally.

As Freda Wallace points out, trans people are employed throughout the NHS.

How many women are being affected by this issue?

Given that most will not raise it for fear of losing their job, having healthcare withdrawn, and/or being pilloried for not being 'kind' enough to the men concerned?

“Why aren’t you getting changed”. Man asks female Darlington nurse this 3 times in female changeroom
NoFineBalance · 11/05/2025 11:51

RedToothBrush · 11/05/2025 11:44

Most vulnerable groups tend to have an incredible amount of invisibility.

If you have hundreds of days of 'awareness' campaigning you are not invisible.

Well yes, this has been the ultimate gaslighting. Being told these trans identifying males, who are literally (looking at you Drew Barrymore) and metaphorically bowed down to, feted, paraded, given unprecedented power to change the meaning of ordinary words, elevated into positions of power and influence women have to work years to achieve etc etc. - being told these people are vulnerable is the game of a bunch of psychopaths and misogynists at the top having a great big laugh at the expense of biological women.

Silversixpenny · 11/05/2025 11:51

At this point, Karen should go off sick for 6 months full pay, stress, bullying, full pay with feet up to reorganise her own health schedule and with a big 2 fingers up to her workplace.

Cailleach1 · 11/05/2025 11:51

wowwhataday · 11/05/2025 09:21

What is also unforgivable is these sort of situations have allowed walloper organisations like Christian Conern to get credibility and a foothold as all the other representatives (unions etc) capitulated so easily to gender shite.

You could say that the NHS, Trade unions like Unison etc, are now the walloper organisations. More walloper (and more misogynistic) than Christian Concern. It is not at just a foothold level; they (NHS etc) are hook, line and sinker crusading proponents of theories more batty than the flat earthers and other science deniers. The extra misery it inflicts on women seems to be something those in the driving seat appear to relish.

Waitwhat23 · 11/05/2025 11:54

ProfessorFellatioHornblower · 11/05/2025 11:27

It wasn't an empty threat to refuse to do Karen's operation. Can anyone remember the lady who wrote to a London (private?) hospital asking for single sex care and they refused to do her operation? I've searched but I can't remember her name.

This one?

https://metro.co.uk/2022/10/20/hospital-cancels-gender-critical-womans-surgery-over-17604469/

I was also reminded of this -

https://www.brightonandhovenews.org/2019/12/09/hospital-apologises-to-rape-victim-for-branding-her-request-for-same-sex-breast-screening-medic-as-transphobic/

This will have been shared before on earlier threads but I thought I would link it for anyone unaware of the impact of gender ideology on Brighton in particular -

www.brightonandhovenews.org/2025/04/30/a-rare-victory-for-womens-rights-has-consequences-in-brighton/

Hospital 'refuses op on sex attack victim' over her 'concerns on mixed sex areas

A London hospital cancelled a woman's surgery appointment over concerns her 'gender critical' beliefs were discriminatory towards staff members

https://metro.co.uk/2022/10/20/hospital-cancels-gender-critical-womans-surgery-over-17604469/

DuesToTheDirt · 11/05/2025 12:00

And it's not like using the NHS as opposed to private care is optional for most of us. It's not like a cafe, or a shop, where you think, "This place is abusive to me and I just won't use them." Plus, it's healthcare we're talking about, sometimes life-saving, not a non-essential service like buying a coffee!

EweSurname · 11/05/2025 12:00

INeedAPensieve · 11/05/2025 09:37

A horrifying read.

I'm actually really upset. I too await the usual suspects to come and scold us on this thread, but funnily enough they seem to ignore these type of threads. Wonder why that is???

Don’t go over on Reddit, they’re having no problems labelling her a bigot and transphobe.

I can’t imagine how traumatising it must have been for Karen to be put in that position and being told by her employers that she was the problem. Hats off to her for taking a stand

HaveYouActuallyDoneAnyWashingThisWeekMum · 11/05/2025 12:01

DoNotAdjustYourSex · 11/05/2025 11:46

This has made me emotional and angry in equal measure. When I first started following this topic back in 2018, I was incredulous at what I found and that incredulity continued for a couple of years. As an old hand, I keep thinking I’ve seen it all, but every so often another event comes along, and I find myself asking, how can this happen, how can they not see how wrong this is, how, just how, just fucking how is this considered ethical, correct, the law?

But it’s not the law any more. And it hasn’t been the law since 2010.

Alwaysoneoddsock · 11/05/2025 12:01

How is ‘Women forced to strip in front of men by NHS’ not headline news in every media outlet?

What can we do to support Karen?

HaveYouActuallyDoneAnyWashingThisWeekMum · 11/05/2025 12:03

Alwaysoneoddsock · 11/05/2025 12:01

How is ‘Women forced to strip in front of men by NHS’ not headline news in every media outlet?

What can we do to support Karen?

This is the 60 million dollar question: how?
I think we know the answer.

DuesToTheDirt · 11/05/2025 12:07

People keep comparing it to Jimmy Savile - well, absolutely. And what did they say about Jimmy Savile after the event? That lessons had been learnt?

But for men claiming to be women the NHS have been told and told of the risks and the actual damage to women, and they just don't care. They not only don't care, they coerce the women into being abused. Unbelievably shocking.

And thanks (as so often) to the Daily Mail for this.

OvaHere · 11/05/2025 12:08

Alwaysoneoddsock · 11/05/2025 12:01

How is ‘Women forced to strip in front of men by NHS’ not headline news in every media outlet?

What can we do to support Karen?

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.

Everyone has been gaslit into believing these men are somehow not men.

Even though pockets of sunlight are shining through at an increasing rate still in many quarters there's still a reluctance to acknowledge they are all just men.

idontwanttobestalked · 11/05/2025 12:14

A true heroine. I notice posters on Reddit are really covering themselves with glory, calling Karen a liar and bigot. Anyone attempting any form of moderation in their language being down voted.

Pleasantsort · 11/05/2025 12:16

I hope Karen takes them for every penny she can get she can get for some sort of comfort in life. They are absolute bastards. No regard for the needs or care of the patient. Fuck them. How does that go with their Code of Conduct and NHS values etc? Damn the lot of them to hell. Thinking of you Karen x