Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Facebook 'friend' educates me on feminism and transgender people- Round 2

90 replies

GreenFriedTomato · 03/05/2025 00:33

Background- I rarely use Facebook these days but I occasionally post the odd article. A year ago I posted an article about a trans identified male who was playing in a woman's football team. A woman I've met socially a few times but only superficially, responded to my post, called me a bigot ,how sad it was that I'd joined the far right, proceeded to lecture me for hours and sent numerous links to 'research'.
She disappeared and hasn't interacted with me since

Yesterday however a mutual FB friend posted somerhing complimentary about Trump and she included in her response 'transgender people aren't the huge problems they want you to believe'

I politely challenged her citing the erosion of women's rights and single sex spaces, and asked her why she seems to care more about trans issues than womens and here is her response.

Note that this was on someone else's wall, so it wasn't appropriate to continue but I couldn't let it stand. I replied to a couple of points (statistics of crimes commited by TIM and her conflation of transgenderism with DSD) and agreed to discuss further privately on messenger. On the condition she ditch the attitude.

She considers herself an intellectual and that she is far more knowledgeable than me because she has a degree in gender studies.

Here it is. Any thoughts? (Btw, I never turned against her. Our last message was let's take a break and discuss again another time and it was all very friendly- and then we never interacted again until this. And we were never good friends. Just acquaintances. We know nothing about each other)

Wow...You don't really think my feminism is a threat against the world, do you? Why don't you take a look at yourself and ask why we were once good friends and why you turned against me only because there were some opinions we didn't agree on? Are you jealous of me, or what is it? We are both blonde and attractive and know the same friends. You know that the town is big enough for both of us, don't you?

It seems that you have misunderstood what feminism is. It's a political movement which is often based on gender research, and strives for equal opportunities. Feminism in my country has given MEN the right to custody, child care and neutral custody proceedings. Did you believe that feminism was only to promote women? I understand an Egyptian man would believe so, because they have no exposure to the outside world and no quality education. But a European woman should know better.

Yes today's feminism is about the erosion of women's rights. Those are reproductive rights, right to the autonomy of your own body/abortion, the rights to education and rights to many of those things you mention.
All of these groups are under attack from the 1% and the right wing establishment. They have ALL been defunded and are under threat by the Trump administration and the far right both in your own country and in those of the EU. The right wingers use the very propaganda you parrot to convince people like yourself that something is under threat that really isn't (there's no transgender mafia that is taking over) and that you don't have to care about your own rights, such as free higher education (something's that the UK don't even have), free daycare for single parents (most often women who otherwise will loose their career because men don't take their parent responsibly) daddy's leave (again so that women don't just stay home and loose their career and so that men get the rights to their children and that young boys and girls grow up with less crimes as criminality in young men has a direct link to absent fathers).

This seems to be too complicated for the masses, perhaps even to you? But these research findings is just a simple Google click away for anyone who is genuinely interested and who doesn't just want to bicker with an old friend for unknown reasons.

But people with less power, marginalized and vulnerable are not only women. It's immigrants, disabled, mentally challenged, the HBTQL community etc etc. Transgender people are one of these vulnerable groups. Have you never heard about "rule and divide"? The right wingers use any meager understanding of history and feminism and politics in general, and heterosexual men's fear of locker rooms (where men are the most vulnerable in today's society) and the lack of women's understanding of where you got your rights politically and historically, so that you'll turn on someone more vulnerable than yourself, and so that you'll vote against your own interests and rights.

There is absolutely 0% research that supports that there's been assaults by transgender people in shared bathrooms, there is ZERO research supporting that there's men "who pretend to be women" (transgender is a very specific biological condition which is both physical and mental and is sometimes recorded at birth because of underdeveloped genitals), and there's absolutely no research found on rape cases from transgenders that is higher than rape in any other group. Again, it's a just a Google search away. Obscure YouTube alternative clips don't count, but actual peer-reviewed research. It's not hard to find.

Please write a private message on messenger and try to be direct with me. Why are you so upset with me? There must be an issue you have with me that explains why you jump at me for no reason whatsoever other than me not agreeing with your conspiracy theories.

OP posts:
TheSlantedOwl · 03/05/2025 00:36

Ugh, don’t even bother to reply.

Both blonde and attractive 😂 Omg.

DoRayMeMeMe · 03/05/2025 00:39

On the wall I would write
”Have you been in the sauce tonight love? I’n not jealous of you, I’m laughing at you 🤣”

Boiledbeetle · 03/05/2025 00:42

I'd honestly not even waste your time interacting with her further. She sounds totally la la! She's too far gone!

Fourfurrymonsters · 03/05/2025 00:42

“Both blonde and attractive” and Egyptian men don’t have quality education? Jesus. Ignore the daft bint.

GreenFriedTomato · 03/05/2025 00:43

Yeah, I'm actually mousey brown but that was the first weird comment. Then something in the middle about heterosexual men being the most vulnerable group in mens locker rooms. I am actually curious where she's got her ideas from because the stats are there to see-with a simple 'Google click'

OP posts:
Enough4me · 03/05/2025 00:45

If someone is readily willing to give away their sex-based rights and those of other women, they aren't thinking very clearly about the impact to fairness, safety, dignity etc.
The person probably doesn't want to consider the truth unless they see a real-world example like their mum/daughter etc has a negative experience through the change of support or a facility from single-sex to unisex. They won't hear and take in the negative things that have already happened with making spaces unisex (that we are told won't happen). They think they are 'being kind', without questioning to whom and why and at what cost.

Waitwhat23 · 03/05/2025 00:47

Honestly? I'd be tempted to put this...

Also, what is the 'HBTQL community'? A typo or a bizarre new combination of letters?

She's put a lot of TRA cut and paste talking points, even down to the language so I very much doubt if she'd engage with anything sensible.

Facebook 'friend' educates me on feminism and transgender people- Round 2
GreenFriedTomato · 03/05/2025 00:48

She's Swedish so I assume that's how they write LGB etc

OP posts:
CassOle · 03/05/2025 00:51

As soon as I read gender studies, I thought that this is not going to be logical and based in reality.

I would reply "I apologise for wasting your time. Goodbye." Then I would try to forget that this person exists.

Waitwhat23 · 03/05/2025 00:51

GreenFriedTomato · 03/05/2025 00:48

She's Swedish so I assume that's how they write LGB etc

Ah, fair enough.

Seethlaw · 03/05/2025 00:53

"transgender is a very specific biological condition which is both physical and mental and is sometimes recorded at birth because of underdeveloped genitals"

Oh dear. She'd be torn apart by the very trans people she claims to defend if they saw that.

More seriously: ignore her, OP. This person is in no way being genuine. She has zero interest in discussing anything. She's only here to not-so-subtly insult you and make fun of you.

Lacoutine · 03/05/2025 00:57

I’d suggest either the rolling eyes emoji or the laughing emoji, and leave it at that…

GreenFriedTomato · 03/05/2025 01:04

Yeah you're right. The first time it happened she pissed me off with her condescension and insults so we didn't discuss anything. Then she disappeared. So it felt a bit lazy this time to just say' you're talking absolute rubbish' and leave it at that. Her post today though clearly showed she has no idea what she's on about so yes. Probably best ignored.

If her intention is to try and make fun of me it's probably backfired. Her original comment was on a middle aged Reform supporter/football fans FB and they already think she's batshit.

So there's probably no hope of me trying to educate her instead?

OP posts:
CassOle · 03/05/2025 01:06

No chance... she's off in fantasy land, stuck in the rainbow quicksand.

GreenFriedTomato · 03/05/2025 01:17

Ok well thanks everyone. It's going to be a short thread then
I guess I just wanted some reassurance that it's not me, it's her.

I'm constantly surprised by those who write absolute nonsense with such confidence.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 03/05/2025 02:17

Odd. I've done thousands of baby checks in over 25 years in paediatrics, and yet I've never diagnosed a baby as trans. Have I been doing it wrong? Or is she talking complete bollocks?

BezMills · 03/05/2025 03:24

I saw the "I am a biologist.... dsds... QED sex is not binary" one yesterday (implied but not stated that DSD and hormones out of typical ranges cause trans gender identity)

Yeah yeah I do not think it is remotely proven that sexual dimorphism isn't a thing, but ok yes there are people who are unusual due to genetic/developmental factors and they fully deserve love and respect and a good happy life.

And there are people who have strong feelings about gender in various ways.

Nobody is sure what the venn diagram is between sexual/biological distinctiveness and cross sex gender identity. But it sure as hell isn't a circle

MementoMountain · 03/05/2025 03:40

nocoolnamesleft · 03/05/2025 02:17

Odd. I've done thousands of baby checks in over 25 years in paediatrics, and yet I've never diagnosed a baby as trans. Have I been doing it wrong? Or is she talking complete bollocks?

Incomplete bollocks, in her terms?

DrummingMousWife · 03/05/2025 04:12

Well she is quite mad isnt she!
I would just say “yeah, ok love” and leave it there.
Don’t argue with someone who struggles with sanity, it’s a lost cause.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 03/05/2025 04:30

My reply would be:

*acquaintances at best
*lose
*fewer
*divide and rule

HTH

BlueEyedBogWitch · 03/05/2025 04:31

nocoolnamesleft · 03/05/2025 02:17

Odd. I've done thousands of baby checks in over 25 years in paediatrics, and yet I've never diagnosed a baby as trans. Have I been doing it wrong? Or is she talking complete bollocks?

I think she’s actually talking incomplete bollocks.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 03/05/2025 04:32

@MementoMountain dammit, you beat me to it!

sashh · 03/05/2025 04:39

I stopped reading at 'rule and divide', that doesn't even make sense.

OP You have my sympathies, I'm having a current similar discussion on Facebook. It started with the other person posting about the SC ruling and I'm not sure if this person is about to peak.

I brought up Karen White and Isla Bryson, friend claims their 'not really trans' and I said but they say they are, they say they feel they are, who are you to tell them any different.

I seem to be having some success so maybe that is the way to go, one example at a time.

SinnerBoy · 03/05/2025 04:50

BlueEyedBogWitch · Today 04:30

My reply would be:
*acquaintances at best
*lose
*fewer
*divide and rule
HTH

And:

some things

She's quite evidently a hidebound ideologue, who is impervious to reason. She must surely know that it's a lie that transw don't / haven't attacked women and girls in toilets and changing rooms.

It's like an RE teacher I had, a Young Earth Creationist, who constantly wanged on about the truth and Jesus hates liars etc. He had a blah blah, evolution is rubbish speech and said that there were human footprints next to dinosaur footprints.

I'd just finished reading a National Geographic article on that and told him that people had admitted to chiselling the "human" footprints.

Apparently, it was better to tell a small lie to save children from believing the whopper of evolution and going to Hell because of it. And it was in no way hypocritical because:

Shut up, don't argue, I'm an adult and it's not hypocritical, do your bloody work!

There's no getting through to people who will happily and knowingly lie, to support their position.

PermanentTemporary · 03/05/2025 05:40

What @CassOle said. This is why I don't do politics on Facebook (and increasingly, don't do anything on Facebook at all).