Hahahaha!!!!

[DialSquare]

I love JKR!

if only Real had defined themselves as abeaten, they wouldn't have had to put up with that.

Anyway, so you're nor interested in sex. Meh. No one cares, live your own life, most people won't even know, unless you wank on about it tediously. Why have a day to push it? Nobody is harassing, of assaulting you for it.

It seems to me to be a boring, attention seeking ploy, because you feel special.

I don't mind, or care, or worry that some people aren't interested in having sexual intercourse. It's none if my business and if you feel oppressed becaof it, it's entirely in your own head.

Oy, Sinner, the phrase 'wank on about it' might give the asexual hurty feels....

Tediously drone might be safer.

I think that labelling and dissecting identities into ever more closely and narrowly defined boxes runs the risk of concretising an aspect of personality into something fixed and unchanging. Labels are not always helpful, they can be restrictive, limiting and hard to change.

I'm sure we had a young woman who said she was asexual on here before, who said it doesn't mean you don't have completely consensual sex.

And yes, doctors who mutilate youngsters with so called gender affirming treatments have said if it means they never experience anything sexual, it could easily be that they may have been asexual anyway.

So I for one, will never think that anything, any single thing that gender ideologues like Stonewall and pink news advocate for is for the benefit of young people.

Well you didn’t just find it funny…you started a thread about it on Mumsnet saying you “love her” and referring to her as a “funny, brilliant, wordsmith” …because of a sexual innuendo tweet. So yes…pretty sycophantic.

I’m sure you will get over it. I wasn’t trying to ruin your life forever just because I pointed out how pathetic arse licking JK is. Just joining in the conversation like everyone else.

It also slices "normal" into narrower and narrower slices. I get that the intention of grabbing a label is to say "look, people like me exist" but I'm not sure it's really beneficial in the long term to base your identity on how you are different to some imagined "normal" that everyone else fits into. It's a very teenage way to view the world.

I assumed it was just recognition that asexuality exists. I’m asexual and I haven’t told many people but the few I have had no idea what it meant and have all said I just need to find the right person and I’ll change my mind. I also didn’t know being asexual was a thing until a few years ago, I just thought I was broken for not being attracted to anybody and for not enjoying sex. In my teens and twenties put myself in a lot of horrible sexual situations thinking if I just had enough sex it would stop being unpleasant and I would come to like it. I wish I’d known that some people aren’t attracted to anybody and that some people don’t enjoy sex. I wish I had been aware of asexuality as a teen and hadn’t forced myself to sleep with people I had no attraction to in the hope I could cure myself. I will add I had no idea there was an International Asexuals Day until I saw this thread and it’s not something I’d be interested in marking for myself but I don’t think it’s a bad thing for asexuality to be recognised if it means future teens who aren’t attracted to anybody and/ or aren’t interested in sex don’t feel there’s something wrong with them or that they need to sleep with people just to be normal. I don’t think people have to be oppressed to be recognised, it can still be hard if your sexuality falls outside of the norm and there is a lot of pressure to be having sex and relationships so recognising asexuality could help validate a lifestyle many people see as unusual; certainly very few people seem to understand why I am longer term single and celibate and whilst I’m certainly not oppressed I do think I am met with a lot of pity when I say I’m long term single and suspicion if I express I’m not looking for a relationship. I don’t think people typically consider this could be part of my sexuality.

Yeah same, tbh

The "why do you need a day of visibility if nobody is harassing or oppressing you" argument is a bit weird when we also have National prosecco day/dinosaur day/receptionist's day/ international carrot day/map readers day and a billion others, from the worthy to the ridiculous

I don't think anyone would argue receptionists, dinosaurs and carrots are particularly oppressed.

These days aren't compulsory. They are mainly targeted at those who identify within the specific group (maybe not the dinosaurs). Literally what negative impact does it have on anyone else's life to see a poster or whatever about a day that you are not interested in and has no relevance to you? Ironically, moaning or being offended about something that you can easily ignore is more snowflakey than celebrating it! It's not the same as the trans issue, asexuals aren't affecting anyone else's rights/wishes/legal status.

Arse licking? Behave. I started a thread because she made me laugh and that’s just one the few reasons I admire her. She is a funny, brilliant wordsmith and I’m not gaining any advantage by saying that so no, not a sycophant. If you’re taking my comment about loving her literally then I can’t help you I’m afraid.

Yeah, it seems a long way from the original

""Dress however you please, Call yourself whatever you like. Sleep with any consenting adult who'll have you. Live your best life in peace and security. But force women out of their jobs for stating that sex is real?"

tweet.

That was basically "live and let live unless it actively hurts others"
Now it's more like "let's make fun of anyone who sits slightly outside the norm, despite their identity having no actual negative impact on me or anyone else"

I appreciate the point posters have made about the possible link between using asexuality to push the normalisation of potential inadvertent sterilisation/loss of sexual feeling etc as a possible side-effect of transitioning, but tbh it all sounds a bit 'bogey man.'

Firstly, even if there are these devious idealogues deliberately co-opting asexuality to push an agenda from the shadows, that doesn't change the fact that asexual people do exist. A minority using asexuals' legitimate identify for inappropriate purposes isn't a reason to mock the majority.

Also, JKR didn't specify anything about that. We all know she is able to explain herself well if she wishes, and if she wanted to make a salient point with relevant proof she absolutely could have, but it reads more as if she just wanted to mock the concept of asexuality, which seems unnecessary, if she just thinks it's ridiculous and not actively harmful.

Lots of things might seem a bit silly or pointless if they aren't relevant to you, but if you start getting annoyed about all of them surely it's just a bit exhausting and unnecessary?

What I find pathetic is the use of disgusting terms like "arse licking" to describe someone who has a different sense of humour from you and appreciates someone you don't like.

JKR does let her liking for wordplay run away with her sometimes. She also might be well advised to spend less time on Twix, but given the hyperbolic attacks on her for standing up for women, I don't think she's doing too badly. The worst she's guilty of is continuing to defeat India hands down in contests of words.

No, I think the worst she is guilty of right now is using her massive platform and political clout to bring wider societal ridicule to a small group of largely harmless people for no major reason other than her desire to get in a scrap with someone she doesn't like on Twitter.

Because, as per the workings of the patriarchy, it is a sneering, authoritarian attempt to deny an expressed sexual identity of those that they consider inferior (in the main, women) and who define themselves in opposition to the sexual entitlement of men.

It is horrifying to those who are support the patriarchy because it says definitively 'I am off limits' - which is if course, the ultimate insult to the patriarchy.

Thank you so much for sharing this. 💕

Everything you wrote makes perfect sense and I’m so sorry for what you went through as a teen.

I put myself in a lot of unsafe situations due to childhood sexual abuse. I understand what it’s like
to look back and see how poorly you treated yourself.

Well up until 5 minutes ago no one used the word asexual that way regularly, people just said they weren't keen on sex.So it wasn't a "type" of person so much, just something that happened to be true of some people.

As far as people saying that such people will change their mind or whatever - if they are young, they often do. It's just a phase for a lot of people. And many people go through various periods in life of being interested or uninterested in sex. Others remain that way their whole lives, but of course you don't know that you are like that until you are toward the end of things. You might make an educated guess, but none of us know for sure. One of the complicated issues with interest in sex is that unlike positive sexual interest like homo or heterosexuality, lack of sexual feelings can have causes like medications or illnesses or hormonal imbalances, and it's very possible for those to change in adulthood.

There are also always people who imagine everyone else is like they are, and can't imagine being differernt. Everyone has that experience sometimes, about different things. Sometimes it's annoying but it's not a big deal.

The thing is to become content with who you are, whether your interests are like those of other people or not. Most teens struggle with this at times as they have such a strong desire to conform. But I don't think they way forward is to think in terms of "valid identities" because in the end it is about you in all your individuality - it's ok not to be interested in sex or romance, even if you were the only person like that.

My DDs are early twenties and we were talking about this. Between them, they know about 5 people who suddenly discovered they were asexual when wanting to end a relationship.

We decided it's the new "it's not you it's me".

I just think life is far, far too complicated for labels like asexual.

And as for Patriarchy, defining yourself according to your availability for sex is pretty patriarchal, by a PP’s definition.

Appalling adolescent sex that puts you off sex isn’t an orientation, and isn’t unusual.

Ridicule to the group, or the fact that there’s people who think said group needs a day of visibility, and that’s what she’s ridiculing. There’s a difference.

I also doubt she did it to get at IW. JKR lives rent free in India’s head more than IW is in hers. It was a funny retort to yet another attack by IW. Get over it.

Why not teach about it as part of sex ed at school? Nobody should be having sex that they don't want to have, asexual or not. I'm not asexual, but I've known for a long time what the term means. It's not a new phenomenon.

I think what many people are pushing back on in this thread is having yet another day of visibility and hitching it to the ever increasing LGBTQIA alphabet, which, ironically, makes people less tolerant because many people are sick of identity politics. It feels like we go from LGBTQ history month, to transgender day of awareness, to asexuality day of awareness to Pride month (because a day or a week isn't enough anymore) to Trans day of remembrance etc etc. Honestly, I think most people are happy for others to get on with their lives as they see fit, but this type of attention-seeking display by people who act like they are the most marginalised to walk the surface of the planet does nothing to promote awareness or tolerance.

“Wipes the literary floor with India”…she’s one of the most successful authors of all time and India is a TV presenter…so yeah??

No OP won’t get any favours from JK for this but she does get a nice little pointless thread with everyone agreeing with her on it. It’s a nice little love in for people hating on a group who were doing nothing and harming no one. A little endorphinfest of hate.

I honestly can’t believe the irony in people making claims about asexuality, trying to make it something strange, perverted, dangerous or insidious. Most people here should be old enough to remember when the same was said about homosexuality. “Oh you aren’t gay you’ve just had a bad break up”. “Oh you aren’t gay you’re just very close to your friend, it doesn’t mean anything.” “Oh the gays are flaunting their gayness to our children how awful, it’ll put ideas in their heads!”

People don’t experience sexual desire and they feel better having a label for it. It harms no one. No one is making anyone here engage with it in anyway whatsoever. Let people be.

Remember when THAT was JK’s message? That she was standing up for women and girls but otherwise let people live? Now it’s horrible, snarky, “witty” clap backs to the most inane of social media comments. Even from non celebrity, not trans people making a polite comment.

If it’s so pointless why are you consistently on it? I find Harry and Megan pointless and there are loads of threads of them, couldn’t think of a more waste of my time than going on to comment how pointless I find them. This thread is also not pointless, the point is that JKR’s retort to IW was funny (it was). So what.

Who has said being asexual is something strange, perverted, dangerous or insidious?! Are you reading the same thread as everyone else?

It’s not the group, it’s the need for a day of visibility for said group. There’s a difference if you’d bother to actually read instead of falling over yourself to take a pop at JKR. It’s not comparable at all to saying that to gay people.

No one cares if one feels sexual desire or not, there’s no need to make a day out of not wanting to shag someone. That’s the point, one of many you’ve missed.

No I didn’t use the term arse licking to describe someone who appreciates someone I don’t like or has a different sense of humour to me.

It’s arse licking to share a tweet to a separate social media platform (not just retweeting in twitter) with no added commentary whatsoever to start a discussion, just “oh isn’t this person just so brilliant” when all that person did is post a snarky and mean spirited tweet.

BTW I don’t not like JK. I don’t disagree with her standing up for women and girls. This is a far cry from that and she has strayed far, far away from that for a long time.

She is incapable of saying anything of value on the subject anymore and she does the movement a dis service. Every comment is just like this. These juvenile retorts which stop her very really concerns about trans rights being taken seriously because she’s turned into a right wing adjacent caricature.

She went from a someone who vocally supported people who aren’t heterosexual to ridiculing them any chance she gets. Shes a clout goblin getting clout in the most hateful way. Which is a shame because she was really onto something and she’s throwing it all away to embrace some sort of weird villain era.