Men urged to ‘stop using prostitutes’ as MPs debate modern slavery

[IwantToRetire]

Sarah Russell said a “significant” number of women are brought to the UK under false pretences before being forced to work in the sex industry.

“If I could say one thing, I really, really wish that men – and it is predominantly men – would stop using prostitutes, could you just stop?

“Because the number of women who are being brought to the UK under false pretences, believing that they’re going to do a different form of work and are then put to sex work against their will … kept in physically confined situations, which they’re not allowed to leave, and having had their passports taken away from them is really, really significant.

“The other thing that happens is that some women, who come here knowing that that might be an element of their work, if they then complain about it or want to stop, are told that their children back home will be harmed if they do, so are unable to go to the police when they are being systematically raped.

“So please, please, men, stop using prostitutes.”

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/jess-phillips-russell-home-office-mps-men-b1219328.html

Also this:

Jess Phillips said the Overseas Domestic Work visa, which allows workers to come to the UK with their employers for six months, was “servitude”.
https://www.perspectivemedia.com/minister-keeping-keen-eye-on-visa-that-allows-wealthy-to-bring-staff-to-uk/

There have been so many stories about how women trapped in this "servitude" are exploited, abused and isolated.

It was 1986. There were no government services. I was homeless, alone and 16.
The government services, the police, who should have protected me didn't.
Not much has changed for 16 year old girls in the same situation in 2025

Edit- there were no services that I knew of. I had just left school. They didn't signpost where we should turn for help if we ended up on the streets. HTH

I don't believe Punterner is an accurate portrayal of your average purchaser of sexual services / prostitution. I haven't visited the site but have read excerpts online and they're vile. Clearly these men are sociopathic to have such little empathy and regard for other people not to mention getting pleasure out of it. The very nature of 'reviewing' a prostitute is odd to say the least.

Most prostitution is arranged through the likes of Instagram or personal websites. As this thread has developed it appears the issue isn't with prostitution as such but certain groups of men who are abusers. I still maintain making it illegal will help the situation.

I have a problem with prostituted women working with "other sexworkers" because "sexworker" is a deliberately misleading term that includes traffickers, pimps, madams, "security staff" that is actually a protection racket, etc.

I imagine that it's very difficult to distinguish in law between two prostituted women using a two bedroom flat for mutual protection and a German-style megabrothel.

can face visits by social work to determine if they fit to be a mother because they sell sex.

On what planet could social work involvement in this context be construed as a bad thing? You have a mother at high risk of being murdered or hospitalised by a punter (see also: Suffolk Strangler) and who is very likely to be in regular contact with organised criminals (her dealer, her pimp) with money changing hands. Yes, SS should absolutely be involved with her and her children.

I still don't think this argument resonates when so many women choose this form of contraception voluntarily.

A stronger argument would be around STIs and the like.

Anyone who puts their dick into someone else, knowing that the other person is only saying "yes" because he's paying her to, is a sociopath. It's not comparable to waiting tables or cleaning toilets. It requires an invasion of the body that not even the worst job requires.

Yes, STIs are a risk too. But a woman can be off all contraception because her husband got the snip, or because she's celibate, or a lesbian and it won't affect her job. If she's prostituted, she is forced to use contraception.

XXylophonic · Today 22:28

I left 2 years of care in 1986 as well. Were to in NE England? I wonder if we crossed paths...

I really don't understand you. You speak about an issue and you would like it to become illegal. To help the situation. ?? You are the problem but you speak as though it has nothing to do with you. 'average purchaser of sexual services' as though it's a clean business transaction. You're the good guy but you'd like all those other abusive men to be held to account.?
Do you see yourself like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman and Not Like Other Men?

Do you actually think the Instagram women you meet actually like you and are having a good time? You probably don't care- but if you do think they're enjoying themselves,, you are deluded.
They're acting. If they didn't they wouldn't get paid
But know should know they are counting the seconds till it's all over.

I never ended up in care. Apparently at 16 I was too old so they just put me back on the streets. I ended up getting a 1 way ticket abroad- got there didn't like it so decided to fly to tel Aviv to join a kibbutz, but then the Gulf war broke out the following day so my flight was cancelled.. I went elsewhere and I didn't return to England until I was 35.

Ah, this dudes posts are making me feel sick. He has no shame and i find him utterly repulsive. I'm going to leave this thread now because I just don't want read anymore of his smarmy 'if they make it illegal I'll stop' shite. It's revolting .

I don't believe most people see it this way especially the buyers and sellers of sex. This way of thinking won't resonate with people which will mean nothing will change. On the other hand making it an illegal activity will have an impact.

"If she's prostituted" is abuse and illegal already. I think we're talking at cross purposes.

No my point is the opposite. Men who buy sexual services are your average man - your doctor, accountant, local business owner etc. If the buyer and seller see no issue with the arrangement there needs to be an enforced disincentive to reduce demand.

Making it illegal would would do this and also help those who are trafficked and abused.

Just telling people to stop doing it when they see no harm in doing so it not going to have any impact.

It's not "people" who need to understand, but men. Women aren't buying access to other people's bodies.

That's why I asked you whether you would be happy to take it up the arse for money. Would you suck a man off for money, smegma and all? Because that corporeal invasion, someone else's dick invading you, is what prostituted women are tolerating for money.

I don't understand what this has to do with the points made. Instagram is well known sales funnel for prostitution. When men make a booking they're not hoping to date the women.

I disagree. I think if you polled people both men and women wouldn't see it this way - particularly gen Z.

I've already answered your hypothetical. You're also talking about prostituted women, not prostitutes.

Sex workers have a right to refuse anything they want such as anal, and to refuse service to clients who have poor hygiene or are abusive etc. People who keep saying "they have to do anything" is harmful as it could be read by the wrong person (a potential client who reads and believes this and then proceeds to book a sex worker).

"But how many fewer men visited prostitutes because it was made illegal?"

Sweden have said they have no idea and the sex trade is still estimated to be at the same levels, other than the amount of street sex workers have reduced (which could be explained by the fact Sweden passed the NM before home internet became popular). Escort directories for Sweden's major cities are certainly alive and well. 2 convictions out of 2,000 arrests with a low fine as the sentence doesn't seem to be much of a deterrent either. Like I've said, it won't stop, people will just make small changes where needed. You're talking about the oldest profession that has existed in all countries in all of human history. Also a fun fact- penguins have been observed using nest-building rocks as payment for sex when they are in short supply.

For the user who said it should be "sex worker" and not "sexworker", you're right, thanks for the tip.

(1) Just as it isn't OK (and is actually illegal under HASAWA) for a self-employed worker to be exposed to asbestos or lead paint fumes to do their job, it isn't OK for a "self-employed" prostituted woman to have to use contraception to do hers. That she must tells you that prostitution isn't a job, it's exploitation that puts her body at undue and unjustified risk.
(2) She's prostituted" by someone else, aka pimped, is the reality for 99% of prostituted women, including the ones who work out of flats. We had an AMA on here not long ago by a woman whose boyfriend had pimped her out in a working flat.
(3) "Prostituted women" is the appropriate term for "self-employed" prostituted women because we recognise that the primary driver of prostitution is the imbalance of power and money between the sexes. Just as we recognise that "self-employed" Deliveroo riders are exploited, we recognise that prostituted women are exploited by punters whether or not they are pimped.

Sex workers have a right to refuse anything they want such as anal

Sure, and those six young women in Ipswich had the right to refuse to be murdered. The reality is that violent men take what they want and pimps decide what "services" are offered.

People who keep saying "they have to do anything" is harmful as it could be read by the wrong person (a potential client who reads and believes this and then proceeds to book a sex worker).

Prostituted women's rights mean nothing when faced with a violent male who will take what he wants. Feminists saying that punters can do what they like with impunity are simply stating reality. You are engaging in misogyny by blaming women for what these violent, entitled men do. Blaming women for what men do is literally the first rule of misogyny.

Re penguins and "oldest profession": rape and murder are the oldest crimes known to humans. Before we had theft, which relies on the concept of owning personal possessions or property, we understood that having the other tribe kill our tribe or force themselves on our tribe's women was a bad thing and we'd want to retaliate. Mallard drakes commit rape. Plenty of species kill conspecifics. Yet we continue to enact laws against rape and murder, no matter how low the conviction rate, because we recognise that rape and murder are wrong and harm all of society. We don't accept "but waterfowl do it" as an argument because we are capable of reasoned choices that drakes cannot make.

Prostitution harms all of society because it greenlights entitled behaviours from men that harm all women. An evening walking alone through any city in Germany will show you how men behave to all women when prostitution is legal.

@selffellatingouroborosofhate my point I was making is if 50% of women of child bearing age are voluntary taking them already this most likely means prostitutes haven't had to alter their behaviour over pregnancy concerns. We need to sway the opinion of the general public and buyers and sellers of sex. I don't believe this argument you're making will make any difference in that regard.

My general point was the way prostitution is described by many here is a world away from what most men experience when buying sexual services. This means telling men to stop doing it because it's like a when all our experiences are like b won't have any impact. I presume I have a better idea on what the process is like than anyone else on this thread. A lot of women will have a booking link from their IG profile or similar (plus other links such as OF etc). They can normally see what you look like and often a deposit is paid up front. This is the reality of the industry for a lot of prostitution in the west.

Therefore there needs to be a bigger disincentive to stop men buying sexual services and women selling sexual services for there to be a reduction.

I'm not disputing there is also abuse, rape and trafficking at one end of the spectrum but telling the sort of men who partake in those activities obviously isn't going to work. The men who visit them already know it's reprehensible and don't care.

You say "most men" but no one is collecting figures in the UK. What we know from Germany is that men don't ask the very-clearly-foreign women "did you come to Germany by choice and are you free to leave?" when walking into a brothel. They don't care. Unlike the fashion industry, there isn't even a vocal minority of buyers who are pushing for an end to modern slavery, which is what sex trafficking is a form of.

if 50% of women of child bearing age are voluntary taking them already this most likely means prostitutes haven't had to alter their behaviour over pregnancy concerns

1. 50% of women of child-bearing age is half, not "most".
2. That most people choose to own a smartphone doesn't make it OK for me to be forced to use my own smartphone for work purposes, nor does it make it OK for my employer to force me to buy one if I don't own one already. If commandeering an object isn't OK, then having to take contraception, to dose my body with a medication, in order to work isn't either.

Sex workers have a right to refuse anything they want such as anal

In my job, it is a condition of my employment that I can be required to work in laboratories where animals are experimented on and in which embryonic stem cells use for research. I'm not a biologist, I am technical support for lab equipment, yet I am expected to work in these ethically-questionable environments. This is a recent change to my terms of employment and I had to accept them or object in a certain timeframe. The ability to object and get a personal exemption to entering these labs was a concession for existing staff that my union fought for, my employer did not legally have to give it. All new hires are subject to these conditions, no exceptions.

If "sex work is work" and prostitution is decriminalised, then giving blowjobs to clients, providing my arse for anal sex to the CEO, and being fucked by my line manager can be unilaterally added to my job description on the same "do it or we will will accept your refusal as resignation" basis that working in animal and embryonic tissue labs would have been if my union hadn't won, regardless of my moral or ethical objections. On what legal basis could I object if all aspects of prostitution are decriminalised? On the basis of sexual harassment? Sexual harassment policies and legislation become unenforceable if all aspects of prostitution are decriminalised, because when you decriminalise pimping, you can't complain that "must suck off line manager every morning" added to your job description is in any way illegal. It becomes legal for your employer to pimp you.

I don't know whether you are male or female, but anyone female would feel sick at this concept. I know that I do.

Let's not make it illegal, let's go all in on the sex work is work and there's no harm in it by making it a legal requirement for every punter to have their full name and the frequency they use a prostitute registered.

After all it's just using a legal service so no problem to be honest about using it.

Blinding post! This has got to be the best and most powerful post I’ve seen on here!

@selffellatingouroborosofhate your post I meant. Absolutely brilliant!