The Bluestocking - where Spring has sprung and the grass is riz.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Welcome all. Can the gerbils please ensure that all the Tunnocks products are safely stowed in the capacious larder, and perhaps the quokkas could be responsible for counting everyone onto the bus and back off at the new thread - many thanks!

I wonder where dem demi boys iz?

Ooo ooo I’m second at the bar. Wow. Drinks anyone? It’s Friday and it’s definitely been a week. <looks hopefully at the gin>

You can have all the gin you require, @Igmum. I might join you, to celebrate Friday.

Hiya MY snowballs are transferred here, anyone want one?

Ah good thanks Woley. I could do with a brew

@Igmum, it has been a week here too.
Doubles all round?

And everyone, the last thread helped to keep me sane and amused through the week in question.

Welcome to the Bluestocking Women's Pub, one and all!

It's a place of refuge and inspiration and camaraderie and complete silliness, where all alcoholic drinks are non-intoxicating, cakes contain no gluten, sugar or calories, but still taste yummy, and the attentive staff are small but very professional rodents wearing snazzy little outfits.
Other roles - such as acting as foot stools, looking decorative in the garden, or just being impossibly cute when you need something impossibly cute to go awwww at - are filled by a team of miniature pigs, quokkas, wombats, etc etc.

Sometimes real life intervenes because it just does, right? but you can bring your troubles to the Bluestocking and a comfy chair will be found for you at a roaring fire, a miniature pig will settle down happily to support your tired feet, and a gerbil will serve you promptly with a comforting drink - G&Ts or massive mugs of hot chocolate with extra cream and marshmallows are popular choices [don't forget: no calories in the Bluestocking!]

Tunnocks Tea Cakes have some kind of mystical significance here but TBH I haven't quite worked all that out yet - they also seem to be used as a currency, a reward system, and there are rumours of legendary Tunnocks hoards hidden somewhere in the Bluestocking..

And then there's the campaign to take the piss out of AI by challenging it to illustrate some of our most original ideas, with often hilariously inadequate results.

Everybody is welcome, we love to greet new Stockingers, so don't hover around outside looking in the window wondering if you'd fit in, as I did -
and look at me now

In case you're wondering what a quokka is, and if it's worth going to the Bluestocking to rub shoulders with them - here's one, holding a tiny green wine list.
Need I say more? See you soon!

Prosecco! In anticipation of getting that second interview!

Please xx

Gosh, isn't it clean and shiny! Darling Quokka. Having just endured the trauma of cancelling my debit card, please may I have a large pot of Barry's tea (with an efficient tea cosy), a jug of whole milk, a mug, and, since calories and gluten are of no concern, lots and lots of hot buttered toast.

The trauma was actually every competently dealt with by a polite man somewhere in (I think) India and luckily I stocked up earlier in the on cash to pay the bloke who has been doing gardening. He'll be none the wiser if some of it goes on next week's groceries. I don't know whether to hope I find the old card immediately so I can hold a destruction ceremony, or hope it remains a mystery forever.

earlier in the week . . . .

but you all worked that out, you're clever people

Ugh! I was going to attempt a picture of the new thread but the AI insists everything's Victorian (including us), even when prompted that it's a modern pub. 🙄But Deano got a lovely tea set & a mountain of toast in the pix, so she must be happy.

I'm just off to fix up my new lab. Laters!

OUR

snowballs

Oh okay your beetleship, <doffs hedgehog cap>

"there are rumours of legendary Tunnocks hoards hidden somewhere in the Bluestocking.."

this is totally an unfounded rumour!

<locks door>

😁

Want a snowball? I've got a couple of spare ones.

Gerbils are arriving

That sounds like an ordeal,Deano😕
Hope the Barry's and toast does the trick!

This is how it starts!!!!

Boily says that something that belongs to someone else (and that she may be permitted to have a share) is

ours

And the next thing you know it's

hers (maybe giving us a share)

And then it's totally

hers and she's hoarding Tunnocks!

Bloody incorrigible but she looks bigger than me.

I resemble this remark!

Last thread all locked up.

No Tunnocks left behind, but I did "accidentally" leave a couple of my relatives locked in the pub.

<drops key down drain>

Oopsie!

I tend to find them either in the back pocket of jeans or a coat pocket five minutes after cancelling the bloody thing.

Despite having checked both many times.

Only after cancelling do I think to actually put the clothes and coat I was wearing the last time I used it back on and then it appears like magic!

For anyone waiting for a drink, the gerbils are just getting a new thread refresher course on the correct etiquette when serving customers.

Hopefully everyone will receive full glasses and not half drunk ones containing gerbil fluff. (Looking at you Gertrude!! 👀)

And can someone let that bloke waiting at the bar know where the Staunch Ally is as he's not getting served in here!

Ooh, Bombay Sapphire... double plz.

.