Non fatal strangulation and choking during sex

[ArabellaScott]

Grim read.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c62zwy0nex0o

Also noting that male grip strength is one of the largest sex-based differences.

So even in cases of women strangling/choking men, the effects and risks are so enormously different as I'd suggest that a man strangling/choking a woman is a completely different act than a woman strangling/choking a man:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6614766_Hand-grip_strength_of_young_men_women_and_highly_trained_female_athletes

'Less expected was the gender related distribution of hand-grip strength: 90% of females produced less force than 95% of males. Though female athletes were significantly stronger (444 N) than their untrained female counterparts, this value corresponded to only the 25th percentile of the male subjects. Hand-grip strength was linearly correlated with LBM. Furthermore, both relative hand-grip strength parameters (F max/body weight and F max/LBM) did not show any correlation to hand dimensions. The present findings show that the differences in hand-grip strength of men and women are larger than previously reported. An appreciable difference still remains when using lean body mass as reference. The results of female national elite athletes even indicate that the strength level attainable by extremely high training will rarely surpass the 50th percentile of untrained or not specifically trained men.'

I disagree. It's the bigger picture. We have to look at where it all starts. Advertising "kink" as mainstream and acceptable out in public contributes

That's just what the kink community call it...I actually tried it with another girl first but okay.

I came to say the same! Last time I slept with someone new was 5 years ago - I've never experienced it, and it has never come up in the (multiple) conversations I had with women in similar circumstances about sex

Have you ever done it to him?

I remember reading an article a while back where they interviewed a man who used to put his hand on his partners throat during sex. He said it was an immense relief when she told him to stop because he didn’t enjoy it at all. He had only done it because he thought that it was what you were supposed to do during sex.

Making the depiction of it in porn illegal and raising awareness that it is illegal would be a good start

Wonder how many men would like to be strangled as the woman achieves orgasm?

No, not many.... same as when my ex wanted anal, i said sure but i go first with a 10inch strap-on......... that shut him up.

You do it safely now so your brain no longer suffers a total catastrophic failure and shuts down.

Most people recognise that selfharm comes in many different shapes and methods.

Cos not everyone does it to the point of fainting, I'm not sure why that's so hard to understand.
Should we outlaw all non vanilla sex because some ott feminists have decided its too much for them to hear about, even if they don't participate? It's a bit much

Where it is done without consent that is of course a huge issue.

But it is part of sex for lots of couples, totally consensually, and both parties can enjoy it. I don’t personally enjoy anal, that doesn’t mean I’m outraged that somebody else does enjoy it, it’s just not for me so not part of my sex life. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do, don’t shame anybody else for enjoying things you don’t.

It can be done safely and with trust.

But I have been in a relationship where it absolutely wasn’t, he’d press full force on my wind pipe. In hindsight, I can see that he didn’t like me or women generally much, massive inferiority complex. I am well aware now of how easily he could have killed me and passed it off as “consensual kink gone wrong”.

There are different types of act involved, and various risks.

That's hyperbole. We're not talking about 'vanilla' sex v 'kink'.

We're talking about the very real risks involved with strangulation and choking. Harm can be deliberate or accidental.

Sounds like a recipe for later-life dementia to me. Plus, how many times do you have to practise before you get the amount of pressure just right?

There is no 'safe' way to strangle someone, and there's something deeply wrong with anyone who wants to strangle their sexual partner.

Which is why you research it first and don't dive right into it, as with anything

As a male, I truly don’t get this, maybe it can be consensual and safe but seriously how is it pleasurable, there are some weird and wonderful kinks out there that again may or may not be enjoyable for both parties but strangling/strangled, absolutely no thank you.

Isn’t this similar to the Blackout TikTok challenge?
Only takes seconds for harm to be caused

That sounds sensible.

Do you think 35% of the 18-24 year olds have researched the subject adequately?

How much research do you think the average 16 year old child has done on the subject?

Does watching strangulation porn count as 'research'?

What about couples who are unable to discuss the subject openly (see a pp whose husband does this without her consent)?

How do you propose we mitigate the risks?

I skirt around breath play when I’m in a D/s dynamic. I’m a 50 yo woman confident in what I like and I mix with people who are into BDSM. No self-loathing or self esteem issues.

I’ve done quite a lot of research and spoken to everyone from professional Doms to paramedics and martial arts instructors. I wanted to properly understand the risks I was taking so I could make an informed decision.

General wisdom is that you avoid any pressure on the trachea and gently squeeze on the carotid arteries to induce a feeling of lightheadedness. You shouldnt apply pressure for more than 5 seconds. Somebody in the room should be CPR trained. Blah blah blah… there’s loads of “rules” you can follow.

Fundamentally, there is no safe way to choke somebody. As soon as you restrict the airflow or blood supply to the brain, you’re at risk of causing neurological injury. The risk might be small but the consequences are huge. I always ask partners who want to engage in choking if they’d be happy to pay for the carers and wheelchairs I might need for the rest of my life, assuming they didn’t kill me.

I read a harrowing article about a woman who used to consensually waterboard her husband during sex. They’d done it for years with no problem. Until one day he had a seizure and she had to call an ambulance. Now she cuts up his food for him.

These days, I make it very clear that I’ll only engage in “fantasy chokes”. He can put his hand around my throat with all the domination and threat that suggests, but the second he applies any significant pressure I’m calling my safe word. It’s just not worth the risk.

I had to google this, to find out what it meant. I have no words, each to their own, I suppose.

I'll be honest I don't really care, I just wanted to show the opinion from someone who does do it safely that it can be done, it's up to them to research it and talk about it, not me 🤷‍♀️

Now that is a sensible approach.

Back in the day, BDSM had to be 'safe, sane, and consensual'. I hardly ever hear anyone use that phrase anymore.

Quite safely and sneer at vanilla.

Power tripping spiced up with a risk of death or long term harm is a kink

Do you have the resources to bring someone back to life?

Are you prepared to devote your time 24/7 to providing full nursing care to your partners with an ability to fully fund any and all care needs?

Are you willing to serve time if an "ott feminist" or other member of the public has to sit on a jury and listen to how you safely assaulted someone?

Have you tried telling him not to do it? Whether or not one of you enjoys it, it's dangerous and can cause death or brain damage. As to why it's enjoyable, it's a power trip over the woman, a form of rape, proof that only their 'kindness' stops them killing you.