Non fatal strangulation and choking during sex

[ArabellaScott]

Grim read.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c62zwy0nex0o

I also think it's daft to say there's nothing for women in anal sex - quite clearly some women like it and orgasm from it, because human orgasm isn't always about a prescribed amount of pressure on a specific area and nothing else. The tricky bit in our society is imo separating 'I feel amazing bevause I'm doing something my partner loves/my society tells me is meant to be really sexy' (which isn't nevessarily invalid) and 'I am genuinely feeling pleasure centred in my own body'.

Exactly. Many women experience profound sexual pleasure from anal play. Like I just said, including with other women. Nothing to do with male pleasure at all.

There are many warnings about the danger of drugs to try to prevent people taking them. That’s what many of us posting here are trying to do regarding strangulation and other risky sex practices. Highlight the dangers.

I'm 55 and have been with a good variety of men - NONE of them has ever done this to me. Porn is to blame.

And I absolutely agree with that, as I have repeated throughout this thread. However denying the base fact of the pleasure involved is also dangerous. Making any women curious about it purely the victim of murder fantasies is insulting. Especially when many of the people interested in receiving said strangulation are actually the men.

It's a bit like discussing XL Bullies. It's lovely, I trust him completely, I know he would never hurt me, it's absolutely safe ~ and then whoops! Sophie Moss was killed this way. Anna Florence Reed ~ the killers call it a 'sex game gone wrong' and they get remarkably lenient sentences. Look up 'We Can't Consent To This' and stop being so fucking stupid.

Well sh..🤣

Please give us a heads up the next time
Im snorting laughter in public 🤣🫢

And me!

I don't think I'm cool or edgy or anything like that. I'm 44, way past caring what strangers on the internet think of me.
Just because I enjoy something outside of "normal" doesn't mean I think I'm better than anyone who doesn't enjoy it.

I dread to think.

Or we can stop believing that every woman murdered via strangulation actually gave consent in the first place… it likely wasn’t a sec game gone wrong. It was likely an aggressive man taking things too far and he should be held fully responsible, regardless of if she said it was “okay”

I don't disagree with that.

And I think it's the slightly subversive nature that makes it seem more sexy. Because physically, there's nothing to go on.

The issue, for me, is that it's potentially very dangerous. And the way it is depicted in porn, completely unrealistic.

As I said, it's the normalisation. It has created an expectation. And that expectation is now being placed on young girls.

I’ve not seen anyone deny there may be pleasure involved though. All I’ve seen is posters pointing out the danger.

Which is why it’s important to teach young girls the importance of their own pleasure. If their partner isn’t fully invested and prioritising her enjoyment, he isn’t doing it right.

Fgs, 'it was a sex game gone wrong' is what the killers use in their defence. And we don't know if the woman consented or not because she has been strangled to death.

They have though, they have sex that anal sex is purely for men and that there’s “no reason” for women to want to do this. As if any woman who chooses to partake is betraying feminism.

Have any of the, I’m not sure how to word this, “pro” choking posters suffered from brain damage? Some of you are strongly advocating for this kind of sex and say that you enjoy it and that those people who are against it are old, kink shaming and prudish etc.

Is an orgasm, however mind blowing, worth suffering for the rest of your life with damage to your brain? Even if you survive the damage, you could be struggling forever.

I know two people who have had strokes quite young. Neither were a result of this kind of sex, but they live every day with damage caused by injuries to the brain:

One cannot speak, cannot walk, and has limited use of one arm. He is doubly incontinent and relies on his wife for just about everything. He was a distinguished academic who now can hardly communicate. He had to retire and now has to be pushed around in a wheelchair.

The other was more fortunate, in a way, as her stroke was only “mild”. But she has short term memory loss which means that she cannot remember the previous paragraph in a book, or the last part of a conversation with her DC, or a promise to do something important. She makes notes to help her memory, but she cannot remember where she wrote the notes. Her vision is impaired so that she can no longer drive safely, so she has had to give up driving.

OK, these strokes were just bad luck and were not a result of choking, but they are real life examples of what living with a stroke is like. Is any kind of sex worth an outcome like these?

PS the second example is me.

I don’t think that language is appropriate you know, you might upset someone 🤪😂

Personally, I don’t care if there is pleasure in these practices. There’s plenty of safer ways to get pleasure during sex. Strangling is an obvious no from me and I’ve also got no interest in anal sex. That’s a one way street as far as I’m concerned.

Yeah, but when you have outsourced sex education in schools that bring a dice game with a bunch of orifices on one, and implements to insert on the other, my confidence in the teaching of any youngsters about sex is on the floor.

Yuh huh. But that’s how it’s reported, isn’t it? If only SHE hadn’t consent to such a silly thing SHE would still be alive. She isn’t able to defend herself or tell her side. Realistically if a he has killed her he has at very least been too aggressive or performed a dangerous act he had no idea how to minimise the risks around.

Well I have asked!

Because it's my understanding that without a prostate, or enough nerve endings what is the actual pleasure?

Bloody hell, Gurl, really sorry to hear that.

I mentioned my daughter upthread. She sounds very similar to you. Memory and concentration is very hard for her. I'll ask her something innocuous and you can see the confusion on her face. She tries to live a fairly normal life but as I said, it affects her daily. Exhaustion is also another issue.

Maybe you should try it for yourself and see!

Bottom line, it feels really good. Mix some gentle exploration together with stimulation elsewhere, or wearing a small plug during penetrative vaginal sex, there are many ways that - given you relax first, ofc - it absolutely increases the overall pleasure for women tenfold.