Transman tries to join female and non-binary space

[AnnListersBlister]

This has gone quite mad over social media.

I am not sure what to think of it other than, if transwomen are women then transmen are men? Why would this person want to be there?

And this is a 'female and non-binary space' -the 'non-binary' makes it ambiguous? But from the reactions the transman got, wasn't welcome, shunned, seems primarily female, a 'safe space'?

I am sorry that I cannot upload the file, only the TikTok link.

www.tiktok.com/@papasmurf9059/video/7474605736216087830?_t=ZN-8uBP9BayAg2&_r=1

I don't think it's sex blindness because we all know the differences between the sexes but more so the inability to feel somebody else's lived experiences.
How could a woman writer know the lived experienced of a male character, she can't, so writes a female centered fantasy of what the perfect male would be for her.

I think that sums up the trans movement.

It's a fantasy of what they want.

I'm surprised Myra Breckinridge hasn't been cancelled yet - probably it's too old and obscure and weird a film - but you know it's a male fantasy of transition when some guy gets on an operating table and wakes up as Raquel Welch.

As if there are more than a handful of actual women who look like Raquel Welch.

Perhaps the women in the walking group were worried about causing offence if they asked a transman if they were there for a women's event

I go to a predominantly male gym and socialise with men at the pub. Observing their friendships in these places is fascinating. There are a lot of similarities with female friendships but also a lot of differences e.g. The levels of being polite and supportive, the tendencies to gossip about one another-all similar to women however they're also tending toward more 'surface level' when it comes to discussign certain topics. Of course, in terms of if I were to write these findings up as scientific, it would not be valid because all are done in the presence of a woman(ie me). I did also find that my butch ex partner had different views, they were different in front of her to with me-more open, more likely to burp (from both ends) in front of her than me (I am very feminine in appearance, skirts/dresses etc whereas she was very manly looking, tall and broad and often mistaken for a man). It's interesting.

This is Mumsnet right? So we are here because we have children, at least in theory?

Why then are people bullying and harassing someone they've found on TikTok? Not a celebrity or anyone particularly putting themselves out there, but just a personal TikTok page? Would you like your children to be treated this way? Would you like it?

Trans people are just people trying to live their lives. I don't know if Frankie is neurodiverse, but a lot of you are speculating that he is. Surely this makes this nasty bullying worse?

Side note, has anyone met a trans person? They really are just like everyone else! As a cis woman, I have never cared who else is using the bathroom as the women's has cubicles. What is going on behind the closed door isn't my business, or yours.

Who's bullying?

Nobody is making comments on her tiktok AFAIK?

She chooses to put herself, her experiences and views on tiktok for people to see. The whole point of tiktok is to get people to watch and engage with your content.

I'd she makes content like this people are going to discuss it.

If she doesn't want to be discussed she could...you know...not post her life online?

Do you know how many people make posts about my person life? None. Because I chose to keep it private.

Hello @BeckyS93
Side note, has anyone met a trans person?

As I wrote on another thread recently - posters on here are the mothers, sisters, daughters, aunties, fathers and friends of trans people. That's what informs our experience. And, yes, our pro-women views.

So don't bother with the do-any-of-you-actually-know-any-trans-people gotcha. It's just boring now.

As a cis woman, I have never cared who else is using the bathroom as the women's has cubicles. What is going on behind the closed door isn't my business, or yours.

That's nice for you. Thing is, you don't speak for me or make decisions for me.

She's the one who made a tiktok post attempting to trash the reputation of a women's walking group. Speaking at length about how they failed to recognise her identity and excluded her, didn't include her in their photos, weren't a group for her.
This isn't a child speaking - she's an adult - even if the behaviour is that of a truculent teenager. So many women's groups are hanging on a thread, operating in fear that they'll be targeted and shut down for not being "inclusive" of men. Her post was destructive to that group and she fully deserves the kick back she's getting.

And as for asking if "any of us have met a trans person" - the answer would be yes.

I couldn’t agree more, @MrsOvertonsWindow!

They are not just the main character, in their own opinion, they are the only character, and the rest of us only exist to validate them.

Have you read the thread? All the info on Frankie is from what Frankie has posted online - ten years worth of blogs for starters, including (partial) screenshots of Frankie’s ASD assessment paperwork.

Social Media is Media - making content means people can view that content, form opinions on it and discuss those opinions.

Discussion in a separate space, without direct communication is not bullying or harassment.

It’s relatively easy to avoid being discussed by strangers by staying out of the media, including social media.

No one is wishing harm on Frankie, quite the opposite, we are lamenting the harms that are inflicted on women (including female people who call themselves men) via gender ideology.

FWIW my kids aren’t allowed TikTok, precisely because broadcasting yourself to strangers invites comment, much of which is critical.
Do you let your children post on TikTok? If so you might want to review that decision.

Frankie is 39 so parental controls do not apply.

And yes, we’ve ALL met trans people, haven’t you noticed that the number of people who identify as trans has skyrocketed since 2015?

39?!

I don't have tiktok so I haven't seen the post, but...39?

It's very revealing (not in a good way) that Frankie is 39 yet posts about being unable to negotiate social relationships (according to Frankie).

Yes, born in 1985 according to Frankie’s blog.

The account on tiktock now seems to be private so can't see the video

🤯

As you are on mum's net and you regard is as for mums I assume you have had at least one baby. Did you breastfeed that baby? If so did you never have to deal with milk leaks by whipping your top off in the ladies and giving it a spot clean and dry under the dryer? Have you never had had to do similar with trousers due to period leaks? The whole problem with the 'just want to pee' line is women don't just pee in the ladies, they miscarry, they escape abusive/aggressive men, they deal with other bodily fluids. Fine if you are happy to share with any man who chooses to wander in but it's not fine to decide that all women don't have the right to dignity and privacy.

As a cis woman

What do you suggest us non trans, non "cis" women do then?

This has been a very solid discussion on what might have been a better way to approach going along to join a group of women and non binary also women for the first time.

If she'd listened to some motherly advice, she may have had a better experience.

If Becky93 identifies as cis then she clearly buys into gender ideology, so it’s not particularly surprising that she thinks it’s ok to have males in women’s toilets.

I think this is likely too.
didn't' someone upthread say she'd estranged from family? Because they wouldn't accept her. A few have read her blog(I haven't, not sure where I'd find it but don't think I would anyway).

A restaurant unisex loo is a bit different from finding a man in the ladies, though?

I also don't mind if men wear dresses or women wear suits but unisex facilities have been shown in gov. stats to be associated with 90% of the sexual assaults on women, so I don't want men (however they dress) in women's intimate spaces (or sports, prizes etc. either). We are not non-binary, in mammals sex is binary and the male sex is usually bigger and stronger than the female sex - so boundaries are needed for the safety of the female sex.

Goodness what did you say OP, super fast deletion!