Neil Gaiman Accused Of Sexual Assault Pt III

[hihelenhi]

A continuation of threads 1 & 2 now that things have moved on considerably, what with further episodes on the Tortoise podcast and the Vulture Article which blew the story out further into the mainstream

Previous Threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/talk/womensrights/5112128-neil-gaiman-accused-of-sexual-assault

Thread 2: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5150957-neil-gaiman-accused-of-sexual-assault-pt-ii

Podcasts & Vulture Article:
Tortoise:https://www.tortoisemedia.com/listen/master-the-allegations-against-neil-gaiman

Am I Broken? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s4-ep2-claire-i-ignored-it-and-i-believed-him-because/id1491575384?i=1000663604978

Vulture Article (archive): https://archive.is/HJtxW

I've just cut off with a friend who keeps going back to an abusive boyfriend - a musician who has a cult following. After spending hours and hours on phone calls with her and telling her to leave. You can't reason with these people.

Trauma is a layered thing. Do you think your friend doesn’t know he’s abusive? If you want to be of service to someone living with abuse the secret is to give them a judgement free safe space first to discuss and then when they are ready, support them in leaving.

They aren’t just going to leave on your advice. Don’t take it personally when they don’t. In fact try and advocate for them to reconnect with other friends and family they may have gotten alienated from as abusers are very adept at isolating. They need a network of people not one person with a saviour complex.

You need a strong stomach and nerve if you are gonna do this sort of thing. It may take many cycles to free themselves from it. Just be there as best as you are able they need reminding they deserve better, not advice on what they should be doing. Trust me they know.

I was watching the last series of Girls yesterday. Episode 3 is all about Hannah having a difficult meeting with an author she used to admire who's at the centre of various accusations of abuse. The whole thing really twists around how people can be drawn in and false intimacy manufactured. Well worth a watch in the context of the Gaiman scandal.

"They aren't going to leave on your advice." No, indeed. So why am I somehow responsible for their bad decisions and made to feel guilty? I'm done.

Yeah, I don’t believe that theory re DT working behind the scenes to cancel NG at all. Tennant isn’t usually shy about speaking out, he’s been very happy to criticise women for daring to feel vulnerable and want a single sex space.

It is funny that TRAs never step up when it comes to women who are victims. You never hear them speaking out on behalf of women who are assaulted. It’s almost as if the whole TRA movement doesn’t give a fuck about women. Funny that………..

I didn’t even think of NG using his friendship as an angle but you’re absolutely right. Wouldn’t surprise me at all.

Men who are silent after known associates are revealed to be abusers are absolutely complicit. Neither Sheen or Tennant need the latest series of Good Omens to do well - they both have incredibly successful careers. So to keep actively promoting the work of a man who has multiple allegations of sexual abuse/assault hanging over him stinks.

Fuck those guys, quite frankly.

I meant to reply to this the other day.

Thank you for adding the extra context because it really does underline what an enormous battle any rape victim has.

Those stats are truly sobering.

I do vaguely remember reading that Gaiman told a woman he would tell her which hotel Tennant was in if she sent him a photo of her tits.

You'd think Tennant would be a smidge cheesed off about that, even if he couldn't care less about Gaiman abusing women.

I hadn’t heard that so I just had a quick search and you’re absolutely right. Fucking hell.

If I was Tennant I’d be raging that a friend had used me to try and coerce women into sending them nude photos. Unbelievable that he’s not said a word. Probably just banter though, right? Silly women taking what NG said seriously when he was definitely only joking….. *let’s ignore the fact that NG has a history for this sort of thing ie/ asking young women to send him photos of themselves in the bath, and continued to encourage it when they poured in.

You aren’t and no one says you were. Hmmm is there a part of your thinking over the Gaiman situation somewhat muddied because of the situation with your friend? I can empathise with that to some degree if you see victims of abuse as somehow complicit in their circumstances on account of someone special to you, you were somehow unable to reach?

Consider it at least and maybe reserve your opprobrium for abusers themselves. THEY are the instigators and they accrue the full force of accountability for their actions, and all the hurt they perpetuate.

I think you've summed it up, Dervel. I just heard a line in a movie today called "Prescence." "Make good choices because because bad choices will impact your life forever." I am incredibly frustrated with this friend and I can no longer do anything for her. It's like having an alcoholic or a drug addict in the family. They are addicted to love, to quote the famous pop song.

I do now acknowledge that his behaviour is exploitive and think he's a horrible man but probably not done anything that would meet legal terms of rape.

My friend degrades herself, gives him money. He doesn't talk to her for weeks on end, then turns up and demands money for "weed." It's horrible and I no longer want to see or hear her degrading herself for this man.

"If I was Tennant I’d be raging that a friend had used me to try and coerce women into sending them nude photos."

Yeah that's predatory af and one would be absolutely fewmin tohave been co-opted like that. I'd like to imagine DT had a very strong word with his "mate" NG and kept him very much at arm's length ever since. That's what any decent person would have done at an absolute bare minimum.

DT continues to fail to impress me as a person, he ought to be having a little think about how similar he is to the folk that looked the other way with the original Jimmy Savile.

Agree @BezMills

Thank you for pointing that out Dervel. You are very perceptive. I've been going through this with this dear friend for 2 years and I can't take anymore of it, even though I love her dearly ❤

I meant to reply to this the other day.

Thank you for adding the extra context because it really does underline what an enormous battle any rape victim has.

Those stats are truly sobering.

They really are.

Even ignoring Tennant, can you imagine being such a fucking loser you have to use the appeal of better-looking men to harass women? 😂

Yeah na yeah, not great tbf

Even ignoring Tennant, can you imagine being such a fucking loser you have to use the appeal of better-looking men to harass women?

Quite! What a skeevy creep.

As someone noted earlier, full on ‘do you want to see a puppy?’ Vibes

‘DT continues to fail to impress me as a person, he ought to be having a little think about how similar he is to the folk that looked the other way with the original Jimmy Savile.’

@BezMills, Tennant’s attitude when John Barrowman was wandering around set waving his penis around was very much “oh teeheehee, the naughty wee scamp”.
He’s a total enabler of predatory men, but brave enough to shout at women who stand up for themselves and children. I’m so tired of lefty luvvie misogyny.

Re legal action

https://bsky.app/profile/courtneymilan.com/post/3lhcehsjtgk2x

What an incredibly brave woman Scarlett is. Brava!

I really hope she wins this law suit.

For all of the talk on this, when you read the legal document it makes it very real and very sickening. I managed 3 pages before I decided I couldn’t read anymore. Scarlett is a very brave woman.