I know how that feels because I’ve been there too. I implore you to not let it make you colder. It seems logical to think if only these women went nowhere near abusers this wouldn’t happen, but the cause and effect chain is a lot more complex than it first appears.
Let’s turn this on its head with regards to Gaiman because these brave women DID choose to speak up it’s now pretty public knowledge what he’s about and capable of. This WILL mean some women will steer clear now, and that’s less suffering in the world.
Thats why in conversations such as these it’s so incredibly important to place the blame squarely where it belongs: On the perpetrators. What we need is a wider cultural voice that says this treatment is not right. That people being sat alone feeling isolated and alone in shame and trauma, and trust me they will be reading posts and articles like we are participating in right now are met with empathy a reinforcement that what happened is not right.
Consider this you say your friend was involved with some kind of musician imagine if in years time his treatment of women becomes public knowledge. Do you want her to met by arguments of people arguing the toss over cancel culture and postponed/dropped gigs. Or would you prefer her to be met by unified voices saying “hey this shit ain’t right” and a sense that if she said anything she would be believed?
Anyway if you need someone to talk to about your friend please feel free to dm me. I’d be more than willing to listen.